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Help me think of cool SMALL wedding stuff, cos I'm rubbish

(38 Posts)
BodsFod Sat 20-Oct-12 12:28:50

Have name changed because, well, this is just a tentative thing at the moment.

Been with DP for <counts> 18 years, since we were 18 in fact. We still really like each other and now have 3 DCs smile

We've never wanted to get married, there's no need and I'd rather spend the money on a new kitchen tbh! But then, we went to make a will and it seems if we are unmarried and we were to die, then our children could lose a massive amount of their inheritance to the taxman. There is a complicated way around this which involves setting up trusts or something, but it seems easier to get married. So...

Of course, we could just go and get married on our own and would just need witnesses. Who? It would be tricky to choose any of our friends over others, same with relatives. We could find strangers on the day?

But then I think, well, we do like hosting parties, but would HATE to be centre of attention. And when I mention it to people they say things like, "it would be a shame not to have a little party..."

So I start thinking about a small do for 15 or so. Then the guest list grows... then it shrinks because I can't bear the thought of a proper wedding.


So help me with some cool ideas for small, personal INFORMAL weddings.

We'd need a dance floor so registry office and meal isn't quite right.


chocolatespiders Sat 20-Oct-12 12:32:54

I would do something outside, BBQ/hog roast, with bouncy castle and games for little ones and big ones to play

Wedding I went to last week had an Icecream van pull up outside that couple had paid for and we bought our icecream with buttons grin

DontmindifIdo Sat 20-Oct-12 12:37:42

how about separating the "wedding" and the "party" concepts, perhaps have just your DCs and you and DP pick one person each to be witnesses, so not lot of people watching you be centre of attention, but then have a party the same day, or the following day? Or get married on holiday (most hotels that do this will arrange for witnesses for you) and hten throw a party when back, then it's jsut a party, one toast by your new DH to thank everyone for coming and that's it.

SilveryMoon Sat 20-Oct-12 12:44:13

I've been thinking lately about how I'd get married in the unlikely event that dp asks.
I'd like to hire a hall and get a portable registrar (you know what I mean)
We tell everybody it's just a party, so no pressure for people to dress up or buy gifts.
Once everyone's arrived, drinks are flowing, Dp (although he is very shy, so it will probably end up being me) takes the mike and apologies to everyone for stopping the party and asks me (him) to come to the front to marry him(me).
All very relaxed, very quick, then get back to the party.

Does that sound really silly?

Frostyfoxy Sat 20-Oct-12 12:44:21

My husband and I (got married in July and that still sounds weird!!) were in a similar situation as you. This is what we did:

15 of us (immediate family only) went to the registry office and dh and I were married!

Then we had a marquee in a big field with a hog roast, bouncy castle for the little kids for a couple of hours, hay bales to sit on and we had our own mini olympics! We had egg and spoon, 3 legged and relay races. People could bring their own tents and stay over if they wanted and we had a huge bonfire to sit around in the evening.

It was a fab day and everyone enjoyed the informality of it all. It wasn't exactly a small wedding party as there were nearly 100 people there as pretty much everyone we invited wanted to come!! But it was great fun!!

Just go with your gut feeling and what YOU want to do, don't be lured into what others want to do or what you think you "should" do. Good luck, and congratulations!!

BodsFod Sat 20-Oct-12 12:44:49

oh god I LOVE hog roast. I think, whilst I love attending child free weddings, I'd like my children to be very involved with ours, so yes, bouncy castle etc good.

dontmindifIdo, that's a good idea. just throw a party rather than a wedding!

nkf Sat 20-Oct-12 12:48:03

Setting up a trust would be simpler than some of the weddings people go in for. I think the idea of separating the getting married from the party makes sense. Just go and get hitched one day and then throw a party in your new kitchen.

Frostyfoxy Sat 20-Oct-12 12:48:12

SilveryMoon - thats almost what we did too! We were going to arrange the above party and then have a big banner saying "just married" so people wouldn't know till they were at the party!! But we changed our minds in the end as we thought that some people that we wanted to be there may not come to "just a party" but would make the effort to travel (our friends and family are spread far and wide over the whole planet!!) for a wedding party.

But we did stippulate that there were to be no fancy dresses and hats as you coldn't join in the games then!!

CuriousMama Sat 20-Oct-12 12:52:31

Sounds just what we want. We're having a very quiet service and then a salsa jive party at the venue we go to. Very informal but fun. We'll get the teacher or on of the stand in teacher's to do some basic lessons too. A lot of the guests will be dancers so they'll get my family and friends up to dance. We just need to have the cash to do it.

I'd definitely go with throw a party. If you do get the bouncy castle be careful because you could be libel if anyone's injured. I went to a low key wedding once and it was fab, they had a play corner set up for dcs which was very popular.

BodsFod Sat 20-Oct-12 12:56:59

Aww Silvery, that sounds perfect! (won't people guess when you invite them to 'just a party' in a hall though?)

Frosty, that sounds like great fun! (and have you had other Frosty names? I may have discussed this with you a few years ago! <mysterious face>)

nkf, you're absolutely right. I can't stand the thought of flowers, cars, seating plans etc. But I do love a good party and a dance!

BodsFod Sat 20-Oct-12 13:00:07

Curious, that sounds great too! I have two left feet so it wouldn't be for us grin

I was just mooching around rocknrollbride and saw a tipi wedding ending with a silent disco. Sounds BRILLIANT! If I had a handy field. And what do people do for loos at those things, portaloos? <boak>

BodsFod Sat 20-Oct-12 13:00:27

See how it starts to grow in scale...


SilveryMoon Sat 20-Oct-12 13:02:03

Dunno Bods We live in a small flat, so wouldn't have a party here, any oarty we throw would have to be in a hall or pub function room.

When me and dp have spoken abput marriage before, he is worried about cost, I told him I really don' care for anything big, we could go to the registry office in jeans and trainers for all I care with a pizza hut all you can eat buffet after, just us. But then I would kind of like to share my happiness with friends, and although, not everyone we invited would come, it's about me and dp, guests for me, is just an add-on iyswim.

CuriousMama Sat 20-Oct-12 13:02:20

BodsFod no it wouldn't be for everyone but the music played at salsa jive is good for the usual disco type dancing too so anyone who doesn't fancy joining in can just do that. Tbh I'm like you the party is the main reason I fancy getting married grin

Frostyfoxy Sat 20-Oct-12 13:04:10

No, sorry not me Bods, first Frosty name for me!!

BodsFod Sat 20-Oct-12 13:18:01

oh god, now I'm looking at tipi hire...

CuriousMama Sat 20-Oct-12 14:23:04


Just go away to do it and ask your friends instead of gifts to throw a party when you get back. All your friends and family can chip in.

BodsFod Sat 20-Oct-12 14:40:05

Hmm going away would be nice, but with three kids in tow, it would have to be a holiday that catered for them IYSWIM. Youngest is only 4 months so holidays are not the lovely relaxing things they once were.

BodsFod Sat 20-Oct-12 14:41:32

And the tipi wedding thing is just ridiculous. What was I thinking?! That would be a Proper Wedding.

CuriousMama Sat 20-Oct-12 14:44:08

Ahh yes a 4 month old may put a spanner in the works. Unless you could get friends to go with you?

scripsi Sat 20-Oct-12 14:46:18

Why not do a local registry office wedding, post on MN for some witnesses (I think this happened a few years ago), then I think the idea of friends organising a party for you would be great as it would take the pressure off.

Goonatic Sat 20-Oct-12 14:46:23

My friends invited loads of people to the ladies 40th which turned out to be their wedding party! They hired a few rooms in a hotel with a bar and a dance floor and it was great!

sideburnsalawiggins Sat 20-Oct-12 14:46:37

Sounds amazing, silvery, but are you in the UK? If so you can only get married in licensed premises sad

CuriousMama Sat 20-Oct-12 14:52:41

Oh yes I'll be a witness!! grin Have an MN wedding!

CuriousMama Sat 20-Oct-12 14:53:24

I'm hoping where we go dancing gets a license. It'd be great to do it all in one venue.

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