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Will you / did you invite the vicar to your wedding reception?

(23 Posts)
VenetiaLanyon Wed 03-Aug-11 11:48:29

And do you invite their spouse too? We don't know our vicar very well, but want to make sure that we don't offend if an invitation is customary...

Thanks smile

Katisha Wed 03-Aug-11 11:50:24

It's not customary - vicars would be out at several weddings most Saturdays in the summer otherwise.
Don't worry about it. They do not expect it.

PrettyCandles Wed 03-Aug-11 11:57:10

I don't know what is customary, but, personally, I would invite the celebrant to the reception. Maybe in an informal way, verbally, rather than by formal invitation. If I k ew him or her as a friend, then I would invite their spouse, too, just as I would invite any other friend's spouse, with a proper invitation.

Livinginoz Wed 03-Aug-11 12:02:04

I was very bridezilla-ish blush and followed the etiquette book i bought someone gave me so invited them both.

They politely declined thankfully grin

suzikettles Wed 03-Aug-11 12:05:01

Yes, but he was a family friend.

He said that he and his wife get invited to most weddings that he officiates at, but they only attend those where they know the bride/groom/family personally.

minipie Wed 03-Aug-11 12:17:41

No - he wasn't someone we knew at all other than a few meetings before the wedding. We said (verbally) to him at the rehearsal that he would be very welcome to join us for a drink post ceremony. (He didn't.)

Sinkingfeeling Wed 03-Aug-11 12:18:58

We invited the vicar and his wife - but then he was my FIL and she was my MIL. wink

MmeLindor. Wed 03-Aug-11 12:19:18

Yes, but she was a family friend.

I don' think it is normal to do so unless you are close to them.

OTheHugeManatee Wed 03-Aug-11 12:20:53

I will, as he's the chaplain at DP and my old college. No idea if he'll come or not though.

acatcalledfelix Wed 03-Aug-11 12:21:11

We invited the priest (so no wife to worry about!). This is awful. but I can't actually remember whether he came or not, sorry!

bagelmonkey Wed 03-Aug-11 12:21:46

Yes. He was part of our day.
Got married in my home town, where funerals vastly outnumber weddings, so vicar & wife delighted to be able to attend. They didn't stay late though. We sat them at the table with all the other boring old people we invited because we had to some older aunts & uncles.

VenetiaLanyon Wed 03-Aug-11 14:02:32

Seems like it's a resounding yes; will invite both her and her husband, and will expect that they politely decline smile

emsyj Thu 04-Aug-11 20:52:04

It is customary to invite the vicar and spouse, and equally customary for them to politely decline.

I've only been to one wedding where the vicar actually attended, and that was because the groom was also a vicar and he'd got a friend to do the service!

Thinkofanumber Sat 06-Aug-11 22:59:31

We invited our vicar and his wife, our deacon (who has since been ordained and taken over our church), and one of our churchwardens who sang some lovely songs during the register signing, they all came to our reception. Our vicar did say that he rarely attended when asked as so many couples marrying in the church he never saw before the wedding or until a christening/ever again.

We still attend regularly, we had DS christened in Dec 2008 and carried on going, marrying in June 2010.

LizaTarbucksAuntie Wed 10-Aug-11 13:03:37

We invited our vicar - Dh is the Churchwarden.

We felt we should at the very least offer him a stiff drink after he coped so well with littlemad during the ceremony!

Littlemad squished his way between Dh and I during our blessing prayers and loudly demanded that he shouldn't be left out of that as it was 'his wedding as well'

AbsDuCroissant Wed 10-Aug-11 13:27:33

Ah ... so Liza - you're the artist formerly known as Madascheese?

I love your thread in classics. It's fab.

LizaTarbucksAuntie Wed 10-Aug-11 13:43:10

<takes a bow> I love that thread too, it made us howl with laughter.

The wedding had pretty much the same feel as that, I'm kind of out of superlatives but it was a marvellous day and everything we wanted.

AbsDuCroissant Wed 10-Aug-11 13:47:13

Glad to hear it grin

Presumably you didn't go for the wedding in Kazakturgistan with guests skinning rabbits ...

LizaTarbucksAuntie Wed 10-Aug-11 13:50:46

smile pics on profile.

Not a bunny in sight, just a most marvellous balloon race for the kids, space hoppers and general merriment

oohlaalaa Fri 12-Aug-11 17:24:09

we didnt

IloveJudgeJudy Tue 16-Aug-11 10:51:53

We invited the priest to ours. He had taken the pre-wedding course with us. He couldn't attend, though.

seeker Fri 02-Sep-11 14:03:29

As my Fil used to say "sure, you would't invite the priest to do the wedding without inviting him to the fight afterwards!"

anewmotivatedme Thu 15-Sep-11 16:34:06


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