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Do people not send thankyou cards anymore?

(12 Posts)
miche8 Tue 26-Jul-11 17:59:01

recently we have been to 2 evening receptions and not received thankyou cards for our gifts. Have to say both weddings were for people we knew years ago and haven't kept in touch, was surprised to be invited actually, they said a quick hello when we arrived and i expected to have a quick chat again later but that didn't happen and i understand there was alot of people but they didn't really mix just sat with the same table.

It all adds up attending weddings, babysitters, taxis, gifts, drinks, outfits, grooming(ok so new outfit and grooming not essential). I'm beginning to wonder whether to accept other invites if they aren't close friends. I did lots of running about finding a perfect gift and its almost like we were invited just for the gift and to make up numbers.

Is this the norm nowadays, not to send a thankyou?

EdithWeston Tue 26-Jul-11 18:16:50

There have been a lot of threads about this recently.

Thanks should always be sent for a present.

Perhaps in your letter of thanks to the hosts of the wedding, you could ask if your present had indeed arrived safely? It might just prompt a letter.

Likeaheadlesschicken Tue 26-Jul-11 18:23:21

People should do.... We got married in May and are just sending ours out. Apparently etiquette states that they should be sent out within three months of the wedding so we were just in time!

miche8 Tue 26-Jul-11 19:25:28

oh its not been 3 months yet - perhaps its on its way

PuppyMonkey Tue 26-Jul-11 19:29:34

We did this one to death last week. And the week before. And the week before that. grin

To sum up the last bonkers one, saying thank you in person is "not enough" grinconfused hmmand you have to sit down and write it, otherwise it doesn't countbiscuit

MN is a very odd place sometimes.

EdithWeston Tue 26-Jul-11 19:37:08

On the "bonkers" thread, there were far more posters saying that a written thank you is required (regardless of previous oral exchanges) than those who thought it ok not to do so.

Some clearly do find these courtesies strange, but they were the minority of posters.

PuppyMonkey Tue 26-Jul-11 19:45:14

Yeah, that was me Edithgrin

As I say, MN is very weird IMHO. But I like you.

FloraFlower Wed 27-Jul-11 22:15:02

I wrote thank you letters to everyone who came to our wedding (even the ones who didn't come bearing gifts!).

Our wedding was in the October and I didn't finish writing letters until the January. It's a big job especially if you work full time!

Perhaps you need to be a bit patient.

JanMorrow Thu 28-Jul-11 12:21:50

I have received thank you cards for the two weddings I have been to this year, and will be sending them myself but it will take time. We'll be on honeymoon for three weeks, then we'll want some time to relax and sort out who gave what, and THEN we'll send the cards, probably about 6 weeks after the wedding max though.

Ragwort Thu 28-Jul-11 12:27:51

I've never heard of the 'three month rule' - I find it shocking that people don't send thank you letters more promptly - I mean just how long do you need to 'relax' after a three week honeymoon grin - it really doesn't take long to write a few thank you notes.

The funniest one I received was so obviously written by the bride's mother - the bride is an incredibly inarticulate and rather 'chav' girl; we received a beautifully written letter which was was clearly from someone of a completely different generation grin.

FloraFlower Thu 28-Jul-11 22:38:21

Writing 50 odd thank you letters does take quite a while especially if you write something slightly different to each person and you have a full on job!

Everyone is in such a rush these days. Are you shocked you didn't receive one as you left the wedding?

Likeaheadlesschicken Fri 29-Jul-11 08:21:34

ragwort if you google wedding thank you etiquette then three months is given as the maximum amount of time it should take to send your cards out. Clearly the sooner the better, but sometimes this isn't always possible!

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