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How many bridesmaids is too many?

(25 Posts)
AnnaBegins Mon 23-May-11 17:23:52

Hi,

I'm getting married next year and recently asked 3 of my close friends to be bridesmaids, they all said yes. I then checked with one friend, who had always maintained she wouldn't want to be a bridesmaid (hates photos, doesn't particularly get on with my DP), that she still didn't want to be a bridesmaid. I thought it would be polite to confirm with her and didn't think she'd say yes, but she said, yes I'd love to!

So now I have four bridesmaids, I think that's a nice number.
However, I have another friend who lives overseas who I would love to be a bridesmaid, have known her since I was a baby, we get on so well. I can't believe I didn't just ask her first, but I only spoke to her recently, haven't asked her yet but I would love to ask her too.

Would 5 bridesmaids be a little over the top do you think? I imagine it's not fair to "demote" the 4th friend, but equally I don't want a huge over the top wedding, and don't want people to think I'm greedy for having lots of bridesmaids!

What do you think?

Mollymax Mon 23-May-11 18:19:30

It is your day, have as many bridesmaids as you like.
I chose not to have any, as otherwise I might have had about 12
Your wedding day, you can do whatever you like grin

AnnaBegins Mon 23-May-11 19:50:25

Thanks for the reply! Yes it does seem simpler not to have any, all starts to get a bit out of hand!
Anyone else's thoughts?

cat64 Mon 23-May-11 19:57:52

Message withdrawn

FattyAcid Mon 23-May-11 19:59:07

You should have no more than Kate Middleton as this would be bad form

fleacircus Mon 23-May-11 20:00:50

Are you sure your 4th friend wasn't just being polite when she said yes? I have been a bridesmaid once and didn't enjoy it at all, if anyone else asked me I would feel obliged to say yes but would desperately want to say no.

cookielove Mon 23-May-11 20:09:54

I am having 4 bridesmaid.

scarlettsmummy2 Mon 23-May-11 20:14:10

i think anything more than four is a bit much, especially if you are having flower girls too

Ganners10 Mon 23-May-11 20:38:19

My sister is having 4 Adults 4 flower girls and 2 pageboys so i think 5 would be fine!

roisin Mon 23-May-11 20:50:34

I had none (for tactical reasons) - it made life a lot simpler. grin

AnnaBegins Mon 23-May-11 23:23:12

I'm not having flower girls, but I still dunno. I kind of agree with the feeling that any more than four is a bit much - but same as those who said that, I have no idea why.

Wow Ganners your sister's wedding sounds amazing - how fun!

fleacircus - I don't think she was just being polite, she said yes a bit too readily IYSWIM as if she'd been waiting for me to ask, and has been excited about it ever since. Good point though, maybe some gentle digging is in order.

Thankyou everyone for your replies!

cat64 Tue 24-May-11 22:34:50

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Unicornlover Sat 04-Jun-11 17:15:15

I'm having 2 adult bridesmaids, a flower girl and 2 ring bearers. I'd love to have more but funds won't stretch, considering i'm paying for outfits and everything as well and we need at least 2 ushers due to the size of the venue. although i'm not paying for outfits of the ushers there are still the gifts to buy and i'm paying for everything

ComeWhineWithMe Sat 04-Jun-11 17:19:42

My sister had 11 it was a PITA and OTT, she is a show off though.

TheMonster Sat 04-Jun-11 17:21:04

I think more than three is too much, but I am not a fan of weddings so ignore me!

LoopyLoopsBettyBoops Sat 04-Jun-11 17:22:05

5 will be fine, don't worry.

If any more crop up, get them to do readings instead.

muriel76 Sat 04-Jun-11 17:22:17

I had none but my friend had 12!!!!!! Have how many you want.

Fuctifano Sat 04-Jun-11 17:29:04

I had 4 and a flowergirl and no eyebrows were raised. I don't think you're being greedy but remember the practicalities such as cars, table plans etc would you have to rank bridesmaids? I was fine as cheif bridesmaid was my identical twin.

LizaTarbucksAuntie Tue 07-Jun-11 18:47:54

'Tis your day, your choice. I can't bear fus therefore my MOH is the one person in the world I can rely on to make me giggle in the potentially stressy 15 mionutes before we leave for church. Not having flowergirls/pageboys as I don't like the idea of people waiting for the children to perform and the stress of them then throwing up on my dress or something (love all my friends kids by the way but I also couldn't possibly choose which should be pages/flowersgirls)

14 yr old nephew is doing a reading (he really wanted to) and littlemad will probably just charge about randomly transforming into Ben10 aliens throughout.....his idea of heaven smile (he is 5 BTW not 17!)

TobyLerone Wed 08-Jun-11 13:05:03

I had 7, ranging in age from 18 to 9 months. It was fine. Nobody cares.

Next time I will probably end up with 6, and that number will be approximately 1/3 of the total guest count!

LouMacca Wed 08-Jun-11 14:22:54

I had 3 Adults (2 close friends and DH sister) and my 8 year old niece. I've since regretted not asking my other close friend so I say go for it!!

Didn't Beverly Callard recently have 22?? A bit OTT!! grin

vouvrey Wed 08-Jun-11 23:45:16

Are any of them married? can they then be a 'matron of honour' rather than a bridesmaid?

How many groomsmen is your DF having? It would probably look better if the numbers were even.

LouMacca Thu 09-Jun-11 09:07:05

Good point vouvrey! One of my Adults was married and was Matron of Hounour. She walked back down the aisle with the Best Man and then we had an Usher for each of the Bridesmaids.

supadupapupascupa Thu 09-Jun-11 09:10:14

i had 4 adult bridesmaids and one child flower girl. noone made any comment and it wasnt too many.

i did have a big white wedding though

Jajas Thu 09-Jun-11 09:10:37

Personally I think 2 adults is about right and maybe 2 little children, I don't like the idea of rows and rows of identically dressed women - they can't all be your best friend but absolutely you have to do what you feel happy with smile.

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