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Can you hold my hand please?

(61 Posts)
queenrollo Thu 30-Dec-10 12:58:38

I'm getting married at the end of Feb and I am doing all the girly stuff on my own because I don't have a friend to come and do it with me sad

So far i have:

bought a vintage dress. It didn't quite fit and couldn't be altered so my dressmaker is using it as a pattern. She's making me a new skirt using the dress itself and a new jacket in a contrasting colour. She was supposed to phone me end of Dec to go in for a fitting but she hasn't so I need to chase her up first week of Jan.

Got a number for a mobile hairdresser. We have to be at reg office for 11am so I won't have time to go to a hairdresser.
I need to phone her for a chat and a practice run don't i? My hair will need a cut as i'm growing out a very short style and I think i'll just be able to manage a short bob by the end of Feb.

Have sorted flowers (it's what I used to do for a living)

I'm struggling with shoes. I don't wear fancy shoes generally so am struggling with justifying spending money on a pair. The only ones i do have are black heels but I don't know if they will go with my dress? It's a cream skirt and a dark green taffetta jacket.

Still looking for reception options. Will be about 30 people so thinking of a buffet in a local pub.

Rings - DP is sorting, just need to go and get my finger measured.

Am I forgetting anything important?

I do feel sad that while my closest female friends will be at the wedding they all live too far away to help me with the organising.
My mum is useless, she doesn't display emotion and hates social events so hasn't mentioned the wedding at all, and changes the subject if i bring it up.
I just want to feel like someone other than DP is on this journey with me and getting excited about it too.

rubyrubyruby Thu 30-Dec-10 15:28:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maelstrom Thu 30-Dec-10 15:39:12

Congratulations Queenrollo. I got married years ago but the things that I would check if I ever get married again (just because I forgot until the very last minute but please ignore if they are not in your list) are:

-Music for the reception. Lousy band, only one available.
- Music for the first dance (we forgot to choose it)
- Checking the cake was ok.
- Ordering a veil.
- Trying out the shoes I ordered, they sent me a smaller number.
- Enjoying all part of the process, I was so busy doing other non wedding related things that I think I just went through the process as if I was putting checks to a supermarket list. I wish I had spent more time, care and why not, money (within measure), in making some of the parts of the day more special.

queenrollo Thu 30-Dec-10 16:36:42

Thankyou rubyrubyruby (and your name has particular sentimental significance for me)
and Maelstrom

Cake! hadn't even thought about a cake. That will be easy enough to sort out.

Music for the reception will likely be just some cd's in the background if we go for our chosen venue, though one of my guests is a musician so may get him to bring his guitar along.

This is a very low-key event so that we are legally married and also for close members of the family. We're going to have a handfasting in 2012 which will be like a mini-festival (festival going is a huge part of our life), and so there will be lots more to organise for that but we have plenty of time to do it! My mum won't come to this as my real dad will be there hmm and DP's mum won't come to it either as she really would be a fish out of water.
We're getting the best of both worlds I think but I am far more stressed about organising this little event for Feb than the huge one for 2012.

Ruby i'll hold your hand too. When's the big day?

rubyrubyruby Fri 31-Dec-10 12:02:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tillyscoutsmum Fri 31-Dec-10 12:06:57

Congratulations queenrollo. I LOVE weddings and will happily be your virtual bridesmaid grin

Are you having a photographer at all ? They do tend to get booked up pretty quickly. Wrt to cake, whilst you do have plenty of time, if you want fruit cake, you could probably do with getting it sorted reasonably soon.

Are you getting a night away or honeymoon at all ?

Your dress sounds fantastic. Any pics ?

Have you thought about music for the ceremony (walking down the aisle, walking back up once you're married, music whilst the register is being signed ?). A cd is fine but its a lovely way to give the ceremony a personal touch. The same goes for readings and even writing some of your own vows. Have you sorted witnesses ?

rubyrubyruby Fri 31-Dec-10 12:09:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tillyscoutsmum Fri 31-Dec-10 12:21:57

I'll be anyone's bridesmaid <<trollop>>

Tell me about your plans too ruby

I got married 2 years ago (pics on profile) and we had a great thread at the time where loads of us shared plans, pics, nightmares etc. I too had a disinterested mum and no adult bridesmaids. It was lovely smile

Tillyscoutsmum Fri 31-Dec-10 12:23:58

The thread was lovely - not having a disinterested mum (obviously blush)

queenrollo Fri 31-Dec-10 12:57:12

Tilly i promise not to make you wear a bo-peep style salmon pink dressgrin

Photographer - fortunately for us a very good friend is a professional photographer and is building up a portfolio to move into wedding photography so he is doing it free (though we're going to pay for his accomodation as a thankyou)

Cake will just be a sponge cake, most of the guests won't want fruit cake. We have a sugarcraft shop locally who sell ready made toppers so will just get a plain iced sponge and prettyfy it myself.

We're going to go to London for a week for our honeymoon. Won't be leaving until the Monday as it will be too upsetting for DS (5) to have all the excitement of the day and then us clear off! He lives with his dad during the week so it works out well that way.

We're just having the basic Reg office ceremony so get to choose music and there will be no readings. All of that is being reserved for the hand-fasting in 2012.

Haven't got pics of the dress, will take some when i eventually get it from the dressmaker. It's sort of 40's/50's style. She's shortening the skirt (from floor length to just below the knee) and fitting a net skirt into it too. It was the top half I fell in love with, long sleeves and 50's neckline.

Witnesses sorted!
Not doing (real) bridesmaids or page boys.

For us the handfasting will be the big thing, and i'm making lots of notes for things we want for that. When I start organising that properly i'll start another thread for you to follow!

ruby are you doing church or reg office?

queenrollo Fri 31-Dec-10 12:58:12

should say don't get to choose music.

queenrollo Fri 31-Dec-10 13:00:33

tilly just looked at your pics. My god woman you're stunning......that dress is to die for! and beautiful, beautiful children toosmile

amothersplaceisinthewrong Fri 31-Dec-10 13:05:31

I'd wouldn't have minded disinterested Mum when I got married 23 years ago - my Mum took over and went out and had made up yards and yards of hideous blue satiny bridesmaids marerial for my sister and cousin without my say so or me even knowing.

Good luck on your big day. I am showing my ignorance here - what is handfasting.

Tillyscoutsmum Fri 31-Dec-10 13:17:19

blush thank you. It took days hours to get me looking like that

You can still choose your music in a registry office wedding. Even if its just to avoid "here comes the bride" grin

M&S do great plain iced sponge cakes. You could get your florist to make a spray in the same flowers to decorate it with it

Have you got jewellery/hair accessories sorted. I found some lovely vintagey style websites which were really reasonable.

raspberrytipple Fri 31-Dec-10 13:17:32

Congratulations Queenrollo and rubyruby!!! I am very excited for you, mainly because I finalised a date for my wedding day this morning! So excited for all of us!!!! I shall be around to hold hands if you like queen !!

I have told my parents and they are excited. We are having registry office at 3.30 p.m. on friday afternoon followed by fizz at nibbles at my parents home as its beautiful and then a few extra people in the evening for a pig roast at about 6.00 p.m. Other than that I have no real idea what on earth I need to do.

I'm typing as I watch the Wedding House on channel 4 and really need to be cleaning my house for a new year party at 7.00 p.m. tonight. We haven't told DP's family as yet so we can let on tonight but my god I'm excited at the moment!!!! grin

raspberrytipple Fri 31-Dec-10 13:23:23

ohhh tilly your dress is amazing!!! I love people getting married in colours rather than traditional white. Im thinking I might go with a deep purple kind of colour, tried one on today and it was very cute but had a big bow right at the front that was a bit to big!

IWillCountToThree Fri 31-Dec-10 13:33:02

Tilly, did you get married in Bewdley?? I seem to recognise the background from our wedding! Wish i'd had the nerve to go for a dress like yours, and look half as good! envy

Gorgeous pics and such cute Dcs!

Tillyscoutsmum Fri 31-Dec-10 13:39:42

It was Bewdley

Thanks again

raspberry - congratulations. You sound so excited grin I tried lots of coloured dresses. I really wanted dark green. Some of the designers of bridesmaid dresses do really elaborate dresses which could easily be worn as wedding dresses.

ChildofIsis Fri 31-Dec-10 13:50:34

Queenrollo it all sounds lovely.

I'm jealous of your handfasting plans, my DH is an atheist and I'm pagan.

When we married (1990) it was church or reg office only.
We went down the reg route, it was a lovely quiet family do.

Please don't feel alone in this, there'll always be support here for you.

queenrollo Fri 31-Dec-10 17:46:01

anothersplace

handfasting is a traditional pagan wedding. You have cords or ribbons tied around your hands (holding hands), it's where 'tie the knot' comes from. You can also include other rites like jumping over a broom etc.
We're not having a proper celebrant for ours, a very good friend is going to officiate for us and we will ask certain friends to come up and tie a cord/ribbon and say a few words. This way DP and I won't have to remember loads of words but we can include all the sentimental stuff we want in.

tilly as we've gone for the basic service choosing music isn't an option (at our reg office anyway), but the registrar said they just have some very quiet classical music playing which suits us fine.
I need to get in touch with the hairdresser to discuss what i do with my hair. I think I may just have a small grip to hold my fringe back.

Congrats raspberry how long have you got until the big day?

Well we popped out to do some errands earlier and went to a pub (we went there the other night for a gathering of our musical friends) and had a word about holding the reception there. Buffet at £5 head, and they have a really good selection of real ale as well as really decent ports/single malt etc behind the bar. We've booked it as it's such a delightful traditional little pub (with a piano!) and the landlady (who is a fiddle player) had some really good suggestions for vegetarian options. We're going to have a mix spread of cold stuff and hot with a really great sounding veg curry for the vege guests (who all love curry so that is great)
We're going to invite a few extra guests up to the pub, all of whom are part of our regular music group so the entertainment is sorted.

Oh and there's a tv in the bar so we can sit the kids in front of that if they really bored grin

raspberrytipple Wed 05-Jan-11 17:37:42

Hi Queenrollo,

We are getting married in august. Announced the date on New Years day, made lots of people happy!! Have found out lots of interesting things about other people and their weddings since telling people, everyone knows someone who is a photographer, cake maker, can make invitations. Something about weddings brings out the lovely side in everyone I am enjoying planning and its only been a few days! I did have to disappoint a few people with our plans as they thought we would go big but we are staying quite small if we can.

How is your planning going - you don't have long left do you!

Thelastnameleft Wed 05-Jan-11 20:49:51

Hi everyone, raspberry we are getting married in August too. I am in a similar position to Queenrollo too, have no-one who can help me with anything.

This is my second marriage and so far me and my darling OH have been sorting it between us.

queenrollo Wed 05-Jan-11 21:01:31

welcome to the thread thelastname we'll hold your handsmile

I've seen the seamstress today. Combination of illness, and deliveries being held up meant she didn't get back to me. She has the material for my jacket now and I'm going in next Tuesday so she can take my measurements and do some basic pinning etc.

Have remembered that at least two guests are wheat/gluten intolerant so am going to contact all guests this week to ask about dietary needs so I can get back to pub about what food we have for the buffet (wouldn't do to have guests going hungry!)

I'm not carrying flowers, I decided to have a little spray on a handbag. Have bought one off ebay and waiting for it to arrive so I can take it to my florist for a practice run.

I have very small fingers (size I) so we've emailed the place we want to get our rings from and they said they can make the style we want in my size grin so DP has ordered them today and they should be with us by next week.

This weekend we need to look at accommodation for guests. Witnesses and their children will be staying with us, some travelling guests are friends with local guests so they will stay with each other. Just a couple of people we need to find hotel for. Unfortunately the local Travelodge place is fully booked for that weekend so it'll have to be a slightly more expensive option but it's easier for us to research that here and send them details.

How you getting on thelastname? got much done?

Thelastnameleft Wed 05-Jan-11 21:32:00

Hi queenrollo and warm thanks for the welcome

We have so far booked the church and the reception venue, we have yet to sort out invites but I know thhey are the next thing on the agenda.

Been looking at dresses on Ebay blush found some lovely dresses in Monsoon for my youngest but my OH and I havent decided on colour co-ordination yet.

I'm afraid we are a pair of procrastinators really

queenrollo Wed 05-Jan-11 21:55:29

my DP wants a vintage tweed suit - he's been scouring ebay for weeks. i told him he needs to commit soon and buy one!

I got my dress off ebay, it's vintage but didn't fit (too small, which is remarkable as i am tiny!) which is why it's being taken to pieces and salvaged.

need to get s suit for DS. wouldn't normally bother but he has a Dr Who fixation so it'll get plenty of daily weargrin

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