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Please explain the best way to wean in plain English?

(32 Posts)
ANormalOne Sun 21-Jul-13 09:45:51

My DD is almsot 6 months, she's taking feeds every 1-2 hours now, aside from at night, so I really want to start weaning her.

All of my family are telling me I HAVE to feed her purees and mush as it's the easiest option, the old ways are better and she'll choke on big chunks of food. My HV is telling me I HAVE to do BLW as it's the best option for her, but she can't be weaned until she sits up independently and she can't do that yet.

I've tried mush as there's more of my family to hassle me and they're all bloody annoying know-it-alls and she spits most of it out, gags and generally seems to not be enjoying herself.

Please, for the sake of my sanity, give me some honest, decent, advice on what I should be doing?

CrackleMauve Sun 21-Jul-13 09:58:05

Despite your midwife, I think the NHS advice is pretty good:

Sitting up doesn't mean sitting on say the floor independently. Can she sit in a high chair and hold herself up? You don't have to choose between purees or baby led weaning. Most people I think probably do a mixture, bit of spoon feeding, bit of finger food. Job done. River Cottage Baby and Toddler Cookbook has some good ideas for purees and regular food.

CrackleMauve Sun 21-Jul-13 09:58:24

Sorry, clickable link:

YippeeKiYayMakkaPakka Sun 21-Jul-13 09:59:30

There really is no 'right' way to wean a baby. Until they're 1yo it really is just about experimenting, discovering new tastes and textures, and learning how to eat. Nutritionally they're still getting all they need from milk.

What would you like to do? BLW is great because you just give them a selection of bits and pieces and they more or less get on with it. But it's messy grin And they probably won't 'eat' as much to start with compared to purees, but that doesn't matter. DD will gag a bit to begin with, but that's not the same as choking, it's just part of learning how to move solids around in her mouth.
The Gill Rapley BLW book is a good place to start if you're interested in rying that route.

Purees are less messy but it means you're stuck sitting there and spooning it in, whereas with BLW you can leave them to it a bit more once they're a bit older. And you know how much they're getting with purees.

You can also do a mixture of both. I started with purees and then introduced finger food at about 7mo; now at 9mo I just put down bits of this and that and DD2 feeds herself.

TBH, if DD is just spitting everything back out it sounds like she might not be quite ready. Babies have to get over the tongue-thrust reflex befote they can start swallowing food. There's really no rush; take a step back, relax, take on board any 'helpful advice' from others and do what suits you best smile

ANormalOne Sun 21-Jul-13 10:00:25

Thanks for the link, we don't have a highchair yet as I'm still waiting for it be delivered, but she'd definitely be able to sit up in it properly. I'll check out the books, thanks.

Branleuse Sun 21-Jul-13 10:02:50

is she interested in food?

There isnt really a right way. you can give both purees and do BLW at the same time if you want.

mine liked pureed sweet potato as much as they liked munching on bits of banana

MardyBra Sun 21-Jul-13 10:03:43

Isn't there a weaning section where you can get lots of advice.

ANormalOne Sun 21-Jul-13 10:05:06

She does seem to be interested in it, she likes munching on the spoon if it's dipped into something, she just doesn't seem to like me putting it in her mouth, she won't open it and if I do get food in she swallows a tiny bit and pushes the rest out.

My HV has told me that if I do a mix i'll confuse her and I have to commit to doing it one way.

CrackleMauve Sun 21-Jul-13 10:05:06

If you get the Gill Rapley book I'd suggest buying the cookbook rather than the other one. It is a bit repetitive and you get the same info in the cookbook, only shorter, and you get a load of recipes too.

Go to the library, see if they have a copy of it. Maybe check out Annabel Karmel too for the purée side. Take from both as you choose. Ignore the pushy relatives.

ANormalOne Sun 21-Jul-13 10:06:03

MardyBra I think there is one but I couldn't find it.

CrackleMauve Sun 21-Jul-13 10:06:05

Your HV is the confused one. Ignore her and the pushy relatives.

pianodoodle Sun 21-Jul-13 10:07:27

I think they only really need everything pureed to a fine paste if they're 4 months. My MIL also thought give puree but again I think she started weaning much younger than 6 months.

DD's first grub at 6 months was some banana I just scraped off with a spoon - avocado, well steamed broccoli and stuff like that. I didn't fuss about how much she was actually getting in terms of a "meal" at that stage I just chucked a load of stuff at her her to have a go at and let her have fun with it.

She also like stewed apples and pears - really cheap to make you can freeze a load too!

If I did give her something off a spoon my mum showed me a good trick just to put a tiny bit on the tip and kind of scrape it off her top gum rather than shovel a load in at once smile

They learn by copying really so from before she was weaned she always sat with us and watched us have dinner etc... And had a spoon to play with etc...

CecilyP Sun 21-Jul-13 10:08:51

I think you do whatever suit you and your baby best. DS was born when purees were very much the norm but was a spoon refuser while all my friends seemed to be able to shovel large spoons of puree into their enthusiatic babies' mouths. I was worried I would still be BF through the school railings. But then I discovered what was then called finger foods (currently BLW) and DS was much happier as he had contol of what went into his mouth. They don't choke because they are taking tiny bites of what they are holding. I don't think they have to be sitting independently though they do have to be fairly upright but this can be achieved by being in a seat padded with cushions.

ANormalOne Sun 21-Jul-13 10:10:53

Thanks everyone, I think I'm just going to let her play then, it'll be much easier than stressing about it all time.

exoticfruits Sun 21-Jul-13 10:11:42

You do not have to do one or the other.The aim is just to get your baby to eat family meals- it is a very short period and it really doesn't matter one jot! Do what suits you. If the baby doesn't like it it is hardly baby led!
I would do a mix. All of it is mother led- they decide what to offer and when to offer. The baby decides whether to eat it or not. I think it all comes from a mistaken belief that you can get a spoon of something down if the baby doesn't want it- or that they will eat too much.

pianodoodle Sun 21-Jul-13 10:11:47

Sounds like the HV isn't helping actually just saw your other post.

We have never committed to one way only of doing anything other than what seemed sensible to us at the time!

Some days I did a bit of spoon feeding - other days she gummed some soft carrot sticks, other days she just dipped her hands in without a spoon and sucked it off!

AndHarry Sun 21-Jul-13 10:12:40

Stop adding salt to whatever it is you cook and give her some of it.

^Weaning in one sentence grin

Thurlow Sun 21-Jul-13 10:13:24

Do whatever suits you both. DD didn't like BLW - when she was just starting out she didn't like lumps, chewing, gagging etc., and when she figured out food was filling she wanted it fed to her a hell of a lot quicker than she could do herself.

Just offer a mix - some things can be easily pureed and it only takes a few minutes to do it (veg etc) so try some of them, but also offer anything you're eating that you think your baby might manage. I think 'BLW' should mean letting your baby decide the pace and consistency themselves, so give them the opportunity to try things and decide.

Also, I HATED weaning. I felt I never knew what I was doing and it seemed to take forever with no results. But a lot of babies really don't get it until about 8m, so don't stress, just offer food, and remember that they are getting everything they need from milk so it really doesn't matter at all how much they are eating for a long time.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 21-Jul-13 10:13:28

DD is the best eater I have ever met (well, best 2 yo eater) and we did a mixture. She was very independent so mostly wanted to feed herself. The best advice is to worry very little. As long as they are having fun and trying new things, it really doesn't matter how much goes in for the next 6 months.

NoComet Sun 21-Jul-13 10:14:59

The best way to wean,

Whatever, the child will eat more than on spoonful of or take one nibble at is the perfect weaning food.

Honestly after two weeks you will have thrown all books out the window, smiled and nodded at the HV and banned any advice giving relative from the house.

You cannot get babies, toddlers or even 12y to eat what you want them to eat.

Even DH annoyingly, doesn't eat fish.

Whothefuckfarted Sun 21-Jul-13 10:15:11

If the puree is just coming out of her mouth straight away she still has the tongue thrust reflex which means she's not really ready for solids. If she not able to sit independently that's another indicator she's not ready yet. Don't stress and use what ever method you feel most comfy with or a mixture of both puree and BLW (I did this)

Try again in a couple of weeks smile

BreakOutTheKaraoke Sun 21-Jul-13 10:17:41

My niece is 9 months(ish) and is only just letting anyone come near her with a spoon. She also seems to dislike typical first foods, pureed fruit, yoghurt, sweeter items. But from 6 months she has enjoyed meat, bread, pasta, eggs, more meat- she is definitely a carnivore!

DN may not eat much, but she was very resistant to purees, and BLW seemed to have been made for her. If your DD is against spoons, you'll only get yourself wound up trying to get her to take it. Give her some cutlery to get used to, and give her some of what you're having. Every now again try her with a bit of yoghurt or porridge, see if she's decided spoons aren't evil yet. They change all the time, she won't get confused if you change between the two.

BreakOutTheKaraoke Sun 21-Jul-13 10:19:42

Oh, and neice has two big brothers who you couldn't spoon feed fast enough. They were starving, would eat anything and everything, and giving them food for them to pick up wasn't fast enough- they wanted a spoon in their mouth NOW! DN was a bit of a shock to the family!

MardyBra Sun 21-Jul-13 10:39:03

Seriously though. This is not an AIBU.

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 21-Jul-13 12:44:55

Hi there

We've moved this to 'Weaning' for you now OP.

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