BLW - DS nearly 1 and eats bugger all. Am I breastfeeding him too much?

[MrsFawlty]

I know you're not supposed to be able to feed them too much but I seriously worry that the amount of milk he's still having is displacing his hunger for food.

In addition, he refuses to take food off a spoon so am constantly racking my brain to think of pick up-able food, and as a result he ends up having mainly bread/wheat based meals. I can't get him to eat anything like grains, rice, or anything that isn't chip shaped. And I can't be making roast veggies every night, it's not practical.

Is this par for the course - should I try to change things?

[BrightShinySun]

Slightly different as DD1 was formula fed but she was very similar, at a year old she was such a milky baby would have bottles all day long if I let her! She would only eat pureed baby jars but even then not a lot. I was worried if I stopped her milk she just wouldnt get enough nutrients as she hardly ate.

In the end we decided to just cut out bottles in the day time, not easy but it did work, she suddenly went from barely eating to eating breakfast, lunch and dinner and all sensible food rather than jars. Shes still a fussy eater and still has a bottle of milk before bed (shes almost 3!!) but she eats when shes hungry and shes grows at a good sensible rate.

[steaknife]

My DD will be 1 next month and has a very unpredictable appetite. She still has 4 milk feeds a day, but can happily manage with just a couple. Like today when PILs have taken her for most of the day.

She eats more with her dad as he spoonfeeds her whereas I try to let her feed herself.

I am slowly cutting out the wake-up feed and plan to replace the other feeds with normal milk when she is 1.

Only thing is she is fed to sleep so that is going to be hard work.

It is frustrating isn't it? So I'll watch with interest.

[MrsFawlty]

It's the old maternal guilt thing but I worry I'm not doing him any favours by feeding him so much.

But there is such a limited amount of food he will/can eat and I get so fed up of making things and watching him lob them straight onto the floor. I dunno.

[steaknife]

Yep know that feeling.
And what do you do when they throw everything on the floor but there is nothing else to give?

DD refused her omllette the other day but i happened to have some tuna pate in the fridge that she wolfed down. She would have just not eaten anything but fruit that lunchtime otherwise.

But at least you know she is getting something via the milk.

[steaknife]

sorry he of course for your DS.

[CookieDoughIcecream]

This all sounds very familiar to me and I was about to post a similar request for support.
DS will be one at the end of the month and is not showing much interest in food. We have been BLW and on occasions he has eaten a full meal, so I know he can do it, but most of the time the food is thrown on the floor.
I will be watching with interest.

[TAFKAtheUrbanDryad]

I would say don't sweat it. My ds didn't eat much at 1 and was almost exclusively bf! There are loads of ideas you can do for BLW finger food if he's not quite got the hang of cutlery yet. Have you tried just giving him rice/lentils/mashed potato and just seeing what he does with it? Once I chilled out about ds' eating he started to eat a lot more, although he didn't really start eating well until he started nursery at 14 months.

[TAFKAtheUrbanDryad]

Oh, meant to say that he is 2 and a half now and an eating machine! He is going through a fussy phase right now, but will eat a good range of things, and has no problem with his diet. Although he does "still" breastfeed too!

[whomovedmychocolate]

DD ate bugger all till she was two and a half. Now eats a reasonable amount. I too wondered if she was having so much breastmilk she wasn't eating but no, she was just being a little sod her sweet little self.

She still has only ever finished her dinner once and she's three in October

However one thing I would say is to remember that their stomachs are only the size of their fists (not your fist, theirs) and give them double that because most of it gets flung.

We got teeny tiny plates and found DD ate more then and then we discovered cafeteria style horrid princess divided plates and she'll eat something from every section so we got one with four sections and know she will eat a bit of each if not all of everything.

DS is now one and he wolfs everything down.

Mind you, he did a great one last week, we were having pancakes (they love pancakes - try it, it's hilarious) and he saw his sister toss one in the air, and copied her. It went up, hit the (low) ceiling, stuck for a few seconds while we all watched and then landed, smack on his upturned face.

[ellagrace]

it's the iron levels that's the issue really isn't it.

my instinct would be don't bf in the morning, create hunger and try to give a baby porridge with a good iron content. the main point of weaning at this age is they need that iron for brain development and they can't enough in milk.

by a year i was ff'ing and i did need to cut down milk to be able to create appetite for food - kind of logical really - if you're feeding up on one thing you don't need to bother with the other awkward tiresome unfamiliar thing. even more so with bf'ing i would have thought because supply just keeps increasing to meet demand whereas ff'ing you're giving the same ammount and not increasing anymore so they have to eat some solids to make up their extra need?

up to you - don't know what the current supposed to be gospel of all this is but doubt a reluctant feeder is going to change their mind with a nice full tummy of mummy's milk.

never easy all this stuff is it?

[whomovedmychocolate]

Ha! As if you manage to get downstairs before breastfeeding a one year old

Iron levels - well the iron in breastmilk is more easily absorbed than in food - but I have a DS with a ferratin deficiency who has to have it as a supplement twice daily, despite his extreme fondness for food and breastmilk, and a DD who ate nothing but fruit and breastmilk for oooh 18 months and who has a very high iron level at the last check. So I think it depends on the child and unless there are symptoms of iron deficiency it's really not worth worrying about.

[TAFKAtheUrbanDryad]

I've seen this iron thing bandied about a lot recently - as far as I understood it, there was plenty of iron in breastmilk, which was very easily absorbed - as WMMC says.

I know that my ds has never shown any signs of an iron deficiency - are we sure that the whole iron thing isn't down to those pesky formula manufacturers putting the notion about that breastmilk is not enough to sustain a child after 6 months?

[whomovedmychocolate]

Peas are your friend if you are concerned about iron btw. Peas and bread. Most toddlers will eat these in some combination. You don't need a lot of iron when you are that small.

DS did have signs of iron deficiency and they were quite clear although his levels weren't that low. I'm pretty sure you'd know something was up if this was the case with your own child (even if you couldn't pin down what exactly).

[TAFKAtheUrbanDryad]

Ah, that'll be why ds never showed any signs of iron deficiency - his favourite foods are (you guessed it) peas and bread!

Hmm...could he be angling towards those foods for a reason do you think? As I said, he eats a good diet now, but twas not always thus...

[ellagrace]

defensive or what - did i suggest formula? bloody hell. not talking about formula companies no but the WHO but hey what do they know. excuse me. sure it's fine just give breastmilk and fruit for years it worked for one child so apparently it'll be fine for yours too. problem solved.

[TAFKAtheUrbanDryad]

Eh?

[whomovedmychocolate]

ellagrace - I think actually it's you who is being a tad defensive.

[TAFKAtheUrbanDryad]

Can you link to the WHO information that says that a child over 6 months needs to have something other than breastmilk, otherwise they will become iron deficient pls?

Thanks.

[ellagrace]

"Ha! As if you manage to get downstairs before breastfeeding a one year old"

Well sometimes parenting isn't an entirely passive exercise but requires you to take some of the action and decisions - yes i believe you can get down the stairs if you want to. But if you are the one determindly attached to breastfeeding first thing in the morning then no i guess you won't manage it.

[whomovedmychocolate]

There was an interesting study recently TAFKA (I can't remember where - sorry) where they gave toddlers unlimited access to all sorts of food and they self-regulated to give themselves a balanced diet, without any adult intervention. So I do wonder if they have a sort of inate calculator which guides them to what they need (although obviously there is a 'chocolate button vitamin' they all seem to be wanting to get more of!)

[whomovedmychocolate]

Yes I could get up and not feed my crying child in the morning Really though, since he's managed to get up out of bed and get to my bed, climb in and latch on without waking me up, seems a tad unwelcoming somehow to take him off, take him downstairs, make him wait 20 minutes while I make...what was it... oh yes porridge.

[TAFKAtheUrbanDryad]

The only thing I can find is this which says that "from 6 months babies need more than breastmilk" but it doesn't say why or give any evidence for this.

Ella - the reason I like ds to have a breastfeed first thing in the morning is because it gives me an extra half an hour or so dozing, which is a bonus when I've been up with him or dd in the night! It doesn't stop him eating breakfast - if he's really hungry he'll have Weetabix as soon as he gets downstairs or if he's not that bothered he'll have a brioche or a croissant and a fromage frais around 10.

OP, have you tried putting breakfast back a bit? Also - going back to the first post - most BLW food is chip shaped, it makes it a lot easier to eat!

[whomovedmychocolate]

"Well sometimes parenting isn't an entirely passive exercise but requires you to take some of the action and decisions - yes i believe you can get down the stairs if you want to. But if you are the one determindly attached to breastfeeding first thing in the morning then no i guess you won't manage it."

What a silly post. As for being determined to breastfeed (in the morning, whenever actually), I am, it's true and I'm also tandem feeding. I believe in giving my children milk for both comfort and food. My son has a genetic blood disorder, not caused by his diet.

What caused you to be so patronising I have no idea, perhaps you should eat more porridge yourself?

[TAFKAtheUrbanDryad]

Didn't you realise WMMC - you're only bf-ing for your own benefit!

[whomovedmychocolate]

I do realise that and obviously the police have a warrant out for my arrest for 'recklessly encouraging nursing over the age of six months' .

OP have you tried making falafels (cut down on the spices) or cous cous. I was amazed how they would try anything. Pancakes obviously - marvelous fun). Someone here suggested making very stodgy porridge and cutting it into sticks but that all seemed a bit odd to me - sushi is quite popular though if you can get to grips with making it.