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Chocolate at 10 weeks

(27 Posts)
you Wed 03-Jun-09 19:44:02

hmm

Went to picnic today and 10+4 DD was 'given' two chocolate magic stars and a mouthful of popping candy sad while I was playing with a friend's daughter in the playground.

Don't want a bunfight hence while I haven't posted in AIBU but is anything bad going to happen? I feel dreadful.

Goober Wed 03-Jun-09 19:45:29

'Given' by who?

Unicornvomit Wed 03-Jun-09 19:46:46

nothing bad will happen to her. but am stunned that anyone thought that it would be ok to give a tiny baby anything other than milk, without the mother's permission

if she was not sick and has not had a runny nappy then will be fine

you Wed 03-Jun-09 19:46:59

A twat of a DP of a friend

AnarchyAunt Wed 03-Jun-09 19:49:52

She will be ok.

But what a knob shock

Mind you one of my friends gave DD a cheesy wotsit at 4 months because they are 'perfect weaning food - they met in her mouth'. DD wasn't even on bloody solids then, and I was livid.

Goober Wed 03-Jun-09 19:50:55

Nothing bad is going to happen now.

you Wed 03-Jun-09 19:53:15

Thanks.

No, she hasn't vomited or anything- doubt she managed to swallow much at 10wk tbh, except what 'dissolved' in her mouth. But feel really sad. Ah well, won't be letting that happen again!

Unicornvomit Wed 03-Jun-09 19:53:19

did you say anything to the person?

you Wed 03-Jun-09 20:00:23

No, stupidly.

I just didn't feel it was worth the hassle at the point- I would have done if it was a friend or relative but we never really see this friend's DP. But know his children were given (not fully weaned) chocolate from 6 wks + to melt in the corner of their mouths. Not out of ignorance of guidelines, just for the sake of it sad

Unicornvomit Wed 03-Jun-09 20:07:06

they obviously feel that somehow , tiny babies are being deprived of the yumminess that is chocolate

it is so totally utterly bonkers and counter intuitive to give a tiny baby chocolate.

AnarchyAunt Wed 03-Jun-09 20:15:41

Thing is its really really hard to say anything to someone who is a friend when a) you are so angry you are likely to be rude or to burst into tears, and b) it will be construed as a criticism of them and their parenting if its what they do to their DC.

The woman who tried to feed DD a wotsit is no longer a friend - I just stopped going to see her.

Now I think about it people are often quick to feed babies when they are too young. Another (now ex-) friend kept badgering me to give DD soya yoghurts from about 16 weeks, telling me DD was 'obviously starving' and was I 'really going to make her wait 2 more months for any food?'. I'd never try to feed anyone else's baby before the parents had started weaning.

tiktok Wed 03-Jun-09 20:55:38

That's upsetting - really upsetting. No, nothing bad will happen (any allergic reaction would prob have shown by now) but it's just a horrible, twattish thing to do to someone else's baby

I'm trying to work out why it's so horrible and sad - you say you feel 'sad' about it and I can totally understand it.

It's something to do with making a sort of entertainment or novelty out of a baby, maybe - sort of using a little baby, who cannot say 'no, I am not ready for popping candy or chocolate' (popping candy....FFS), for their own amusement, at the potential expense of the baby's health.

You'll feel better about this as time goes on but you will prob never stop feeling cross about it....you'll obv steer clear of this person in the future.

you Wed 03-Jun-09 20:55:43

I know AA, that's exactly it.

Have already had this friend (her DP the one who gave it) mention weaning to me, as at 12 weeks I can start giving her rice and chocolate hmm

Very arkward though as she is a VERY good friend. And one of my only friends since moving to this area last year. She lent us all her baby stuff, I look after her kids, we work together etc and get along really well, but honestly, can see this happening with her in the future as well.

you Wed 03-Jun-09 20:59:01

Thanks tiktok- you don't think it will cause any long term problems will it?

Am feeling awful for those exact reasons, but trying really hard not to get too sad, simply because I don't want this memory to be the one that comes back to me every time I think of her first taste of food sad

Hate imagining her poor face when it was stuffed into her mouth.

AnarchyAunt Wed 03-Jun-09 21:01:51

It is really difficult. Don't mean to sound negative here but I ended up losing a friend over it who I had been really close to pre-DD. She was great when I was PG (unplanned) and gave me lots of stuff but the wotsits incident was just the start - she was buying diet coke for her to drink by the time DD was one. Her own DD was 6 wks prem and weaned onto tinned baby food and cheap chocolate pudding at 8 weeks sad

Hope you can put a foot down more effectively than I did - good luck smile

tiktok Wed 03-Jun-09 21:02:19

No long term problems, no.

It'll help to allow yourself permission to feel sad, knowing the intensity will fade, and as it's ages before she will get her first taste of food (from you), you'll feel a lot less bad by then. Take lots of pics of her with her first foods

Haribosmummy Wed 03-Jun-09 21:02:47

sad

Agree with others, it's so sad that anyone would do that to someone else's tiny baby.

If you HAD posted in AYBU, then YADEFNBU.

I'd be super angry. I'd probably have burst into tears (have cried alot since DS was born!)

EachPeachPearMum Wed 03-Jun-09 21:08:30

I have a 16wo, and if anyone went near hom with chocolate I would be utterly livid. And very upset too. sad
Popping candy shock words fail...

EachPeachPearMum Wed 03-Jun-09 21:08:36

I have a 16wo, and if anyone went near him with chocolate I would be utterly livid. And very upset too. sad
Popping candy shock words fail...

you Wed 03-Jun-09 21:16:02

Thanks TT, that's reassuring anyway. I really hope I just forget it tbh, am feeling terrible.

AA- It sounds terrible but I'm sure that's the way it's headed. She feeds her 2yr DD dolly mixure, chocolate and crisps throughout the day and she drinks nothing but asda fruit shoots. I'm making her sound like a monster, but she really is a lovely woman, just with different morals and parenting ideals. Truthfully I'm dreading the confrontation as I know she'll push them on my DD, but know it has to happen at some point

<sigh>

Haribosmummy Wed 03-Jun-09 21:23:53

My DS is a year now and even NOW, if anyone gave him chocolate without my permission, I would freak.

At 10 weeks, I think it's horrible. Purely horrible. I think I'd freak beyond all control.

AnarchyAunt Wed 03-Jun-09 21:42:15

I avoided the confrontation by just quietly Not Going Round. And I moved 100 miles away - that helped (though was totally unrelated, she wasn't that bad!).

I do wish we'd stayed friends really because I did really like and respect her but she would never have taken it well had I said anything. She was older than me and very certain about her parenting, and at the time I was floundering a little.

If you can do it tactfully then I'd try and talk to her and say, 'look, this is how we are doing things, please try to understand'. Try ways to deflect the issue - take healthier snacks everywhere, enough for both children to share? These days I am more assertive about this kind of thing, plus DD is older and its not so bad if she has the odd bit of crap.

But popping candy for a 10 week old is beyond stupid angry

fishie Wed 03-Jun-09 21:53:22

it is a sobering thing, that you can't trust your friend. and of course you want to avoid the confrontation.

i found having to be assertive on behalf of my baby a challenge. i have sort of got it now, made me realise that avoiding things usually makes it worse.

PortAndLemon Wed 03-Jun-09 21:58:22

shock I'd assumed at the start of your post it was a small child who'd done it (I caught DS closing in on DD with a marshmallow in his hand and a glint in his eye when she was two days old). Crazy thing for an adult to do...

dancingmummy Wed 10-Jun-09 16:27:39

Popping candy??!!! I would have sobbed/killed them

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