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eighteen months old and showing no signs of stopping

(39 Posts)
kiwibella Sun 31-Aug-08 11:42:26

my lil girl is still a hungry breastfeeder throughout the day and night. I would like to drop at least a few feeds but she is getting very upset about this... which is also distressing for me. She eats all solids really well and I am offering her food regularly and she drinks lots of water. She will also drink formula from a bottle but not a cup. She will drink milk from a cup but not whole-milk. Im feeling torn and a little worse-for-wear so would really appreciate any advice.

sillybigsausage Sun 31-Aug-08 20:59:15

Hi Kiwi - I have a similar prob with DS2 - at this age DD only had 4 feeds every24 hrs but DS2 is still feeding for England - half of it for comfort methinks

Sorry I have no helpful suggestions though blush

gagarin Sun 31-Aug-08 21:05:40

I doubt if the breastfeeding is all about calories at 18months.

She just loves it!

But if you don't love it anymore then you can cut it down if you want - but that'd need loads of distraction, enthusiasm, standing up (this is the key one IMO!)and of course energy.

She's only little and is unlikely to understand that sometimes she can feed but sometimes she can't.

So maybe carry on until you are sure you are ready to stop completely (or she is!).

spongecake Sun 31-Aug-08 21:08:35

hi kiwi- i only stopped bf a week ago.. he also ate really well and was ok with formula. i haven;t done whole milk as he hated it- he liked formula. i had to change my routine a bit- and the first and last feeds were last to go- i whisked him out in buggy for walks about bf time as he always bf to sleep, offered formula all the time, wore tops right up to the neck(!)
morning - just offered him formula first-instead of straight to sofa, kitchen and offered formula, night time he kind of went off it. then my dh took over bedtime and potientail nightwaking for 4 days. changed rouine so he had formula and a book in a chair with us, then bed.

will say this v quietly but since i stopped bf he has slept through the night. yes, after 17 months of waking for feed every night, he finally is getting some rest. and so are we.
good luck- hope above helps, but he was ready for it to stop.

phdlife Sun 31-Aug-08 21:20:37

spongecake how did you know your ds was ready to stop, if you don't mind me asking?

my ds is 16m and still going like blazes. my poor nips are about ready to drop off

spongecake Sun 31-Aug-08 21:49:14

phdlife, (ds is just 17m)he just was ok with being offered formula tbh- he didn;t snap the beaker top down and say NO for a start! i have never used bottles or a dummy, so poss made my life harder

if he really insisted and got upset i just let him before. it was only last sat it just seemed right and he didn;t mind, well yelling for mama, but i had already started taking him up after a bath, sitting in rocking chair with a book he choose and offering water or formula, so when dh took him up the only thng diff really was dh was doing story etc.
it was after hols, all back to normal. and dh was great. the change of routine helped best i think. i sat down and thought when he wanted to, ie tired and we dd the buggy thing. must say i miss watching tv and bf..

hope this helps, ask away, feels nice to be helpful

kiwibella Sun 31-Aug-08 22:00:37

thank you so much for your replies!! Dh and I disagree about offering formula instead of bf... it sounds like it is working for you sponge so maybe I should give it a go (darn dh grin). I could sit and feed her all day but I wonder whether she really needs it. It seems like she is comfort feeding.

Olihan Sun 31-Aug-08 22:16:28

I have similar issues with my 20mo ds2. He still nurses at least 6 times a day, plus a couple at night.

I know he's not doing it through hunger and I think you're right that a lot of the time it's comfort.

However, I try not see that as a problem. They are still babies at this age, they are learning a huge amount of new skills and experiencing and understanding an awful lot every day. I think life is probably quite confusing and stressful for them so if having a quick cuddle and feed from me helps him to cope then it's a good thing.

I'm looking at it as a support for him and tbh, it's quite a useful way of stopping tantrums in their tracks too! I haven't experienced many strops that weren't curtailed by the offer of some 'muck' smile.

catweazle Sun 31-Aug-08 22:25:49

Hi bella

my DD is also feeding loads day and night. When I picked her up for the umpteenth time today DH said perhaps she should be stopping now. Because she is at nursery FT and she is my last one I'm not inclined to stop until she's ready. Most of it is for comfort I'm sure, but then what's wrong with that?

Friends who have FF from birth were all told to stop giving bottles at/ by a year, so I think I'd be inclined to be offering just a cup now, not a bottle, if you are going to stop BF.

SuperSillyus Mon 01-Sep-08 08:31:03

My 17month old won't entertain a bottle, he'll take a cup okay but I too am worn out by all the breastfeeding. He just loves it, it is his comfort, it's how he goes to sleep, he doesn't seem to like any other milk...he only takes a few sips.

I am taking note of all the distraction ideas on here! Unfortunately I don't usually have my dh around to help either. It is a tricky one. If I knew he would lose interest in a few months I would persevere but I worry that I have become a walking dummy and don't know how to break that habit without causing distress...

I'm trying to do the 'don't offer, don't refuse' thing with some distraction thrown in and see how that goes for a while.

gagarin Mon 01-Sep-08 08:47:11

And remember dcs don't need to drink milk at all.

They just need enough dairy in their diet to give them the right amount of calcium etc.

They can eat it in cheese & yoghurts. So no need to wait until dcs are drinking cows/formula milk. It might just never happen.

My two dcs have never drunk a drop of cows milk or formula and they're now healthy teenagers!

gagarin Mon 01-Sep-08 08:49:19

super - just never sit down!

And spend lots of time wearing clothes you can't feed in - it makes distraction more attractive if the alternative is to get undressed.

SuperSillyus Mon 01-Sep-08 09:35:32


sillybigsausage Mon 01-Sep-08 12:46:49

I am reading this very carefully after a night of feeding my 18 month old every 2 hrs!!

kiwibella Mon 01-Sep-08 14:00:54

thanks for the info about milk intake gagarin... it's useful to know.

I'm starting to think that my lo might be poorly - six bf yesterday and then two bottles and two bf during the night... but the smelliest explosive nappies. She seems happy enough otherwise.

Hope you are managing ok today sillysausage <yawn>

phdlife Mon 01-Sep-08 21:07:36

I know what you mean about not minding them needing the comfort, I get that and ds has always been sensitive so I kind of don't mind.

But he's doing something different when he's comfort sucking that is killing my nips, they are quite inflamed. Am thinking I've got to slow him down a little before damned things drop off...

kiwibella Tue 02-Sep-08 10:01:26

could it be a growth spurt - at 18 months... four feeds again last night?!?!?!! I feel like the (worn out) mum of a new born

SuperSillyus Tue 02-Sep-08 10:12:11

Yes, same here! I'm managing to drop alot of the day time feeds without ds missing anything but then he seems to be making up for it at night time!

sillybigsausage Tue 02-Sep-08 13:28:16

Oh Dear, same thing here too - DS2 had 4 feeds last night. He's quite happy during the day and feeds every 5/6 hours.

Maybe its because there is other food in their tums during the day so they don't want the boob so much?

- and maybe at night, they just don't know how to get back to sleep without the boob?

kiwibella Tue 02-Sep-08 13:39:16

for me... she is still wanting a lot of bf during the day despite me constantly offering her food. She has had three bf already today as well as weetbix, yoghurt, grapes, cheese on toast, and a drink of milk (this is unusual and surprised me when she asked for it as I poured milk in to my drink). Admittedly, the last feed was before her nap... and I'm happy to continue feeding to sleep.

gagarin Tue 02-Sep-08 17:30:34

"and I'm happy to continue feeding to sleep."

That is prob what the night feeds are - we all surface from deep sleep into light sleep/nearly awake in the night and as adults we have learnt to roll over and go back to sleep on our own.

Your lo prob goes to sleep feeding and so needs to feed everytime she wakes up as part of a normal sleep/wake cycle.

kiwibella Tue 02-Sep-08 20:58:41

maybe gagarin... then I need to look at what could be causing her to wake more frequently / sleep more lightly. I am well used to her waking once a night... it is the constant day time feeding that I am trying to cut back without upsetting her too much.

fourlittlefeet Tue 02-Sep-08 21:01:36

I used ella k's and cheerios as I tried to drop various feeds. worked very well as distraction.

sillybigsausage Tue 02-Sep-08 21:44:15


What are Ella K's?

sillybigsausage Tue 02-Sep-08 21:45:14


What are Ella K's?

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