My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Weaning

Why don't family understand my baby doesn't eat or need to eat purees - arghhh

32 replies

Tapster · 03/09/2007 09:08

Spent weekend with DH's family. DD 10 month old and have been doing BLW mainly because she hated purees to be honest. MIL saying to me I should perseve with purees as she was there feeding my 11 month old nephew mush on Friday afternoon - making out that I obviously not trying hard enough. MIL shocked me by holding my nephews mouth open while shoving food into it . SIL trying to force mush on me to feed my DD all weekend - while I order bangers and mash and cheese sandwiches for my DD. DD happily eating a whole peach in front of them thats obviously not normal while nephew will not eat finger food at all at 11 months - obviously completely normal.

I really don't care what/how my nephew eats but I felt we were treated as outcasts and freaks!

Why isn't BLW pushed by HVs along with the recommendation to not to wean until 6 months? Don't think one should be recommended without the other.

So proud of my DD though - self feeding yoghurt with her hands shocked them all.

OP posts:
Report
Habbibu · 03/09/2007 09:18

Show your inlaws the NHS recommendations! Quite surprised an 11 month old isn't on finger food at all...

Report
niceglasses · 03/09/2007 09:26

I guess they were only doing what they think is right - it may be generational thing. We all differ in how to bring up kids.

Report
JodieG1 · 03/09/2007 09:27

I don't think it's generational. We do BLW with dsd and my parents and dh's parents both are fine with it.

Report
niceglasses · 03/09/2007 09:30

Maybe your lucky - I think my parents would freak. I think all I'm trying to say is don't be too hard on them - things were differnent when they had their kids, it will be different again when you are minding your grandkids. Frustrating though, I know.

Report
Habbibu · 03/09/2007 09:38

Well, I can understand them being nervous of the idea, but if the baby is happily eating peach, sandwiches, etc then shouldn't they just relax? As for holding an 11-month-old's mouth open to feed - that strikes me as just as odd.

Report
Tapster · 03/09/2007 09:58

It has made me very uneasy about leaving my DD to be fed by my MIL unsupervised to be honest. I am quite easy about how other people do it but I do put my foot down on force feeding, although I do know its a generational thing but in my book that doesn't excuse it.

DH's sister and mother obsessed by doing things the right way and there is only one right way for them on all things...

OP posts:
Report
oliveoil · 03/09/2007 10:05

"self feeding yoghurt with her hands"

you must be barking mad, less mess with a spoon

Report
BandofMothers · 03/09/2007 10:09

at force feeding. He will have food issues for sure if they keep doing that.
TBH and you may pelt me with dd's left over cheese sandwich, but you are as unlikely to change their minds as they are to change yours, and nor should you try.

Leave them to it.
Are you ever going to have to leave your DD with mil to be fed???

I did a mixture of finger food, and spoon feeding with both mine, they certainly didn't seem confused about it.

Report
BandofMothers · 03/09/2007 10:10

Also don't think it's generational, don't ever remember my mum doing it to my younger siblings.

If we didn't want it that was that.

Report
niceglasses · 03/09/2007 10:16

I'm not saying force feeding is generation, obv not right and odd or maybe she has issues with food (know I did) was on about the BLW and puree stuff.

Report
bizziebee · 03/09/2007 10:20

Totally understand nice glasses. Had my mum up last weekend to visit. My 8 month old dd is well away with the blw - was chomping toast and pasta. My mum was horrified and had to leave the room when she was eating - so scared she was going to choke! I have explained the concept over and over - they just don't get it!

Report
VengefulSquirrel · 03/09/2007 10:28

Bee, I am just about to start BLW. Can you explain how the not choking thing works? This is what I am most worried about!

Report
Aitch · 03/09/2007 11:07

wrt the choking, i always think the best question is what will you do if the baby picks up something off the floor and chokes on that? if the answer is 'i don't know' then it's time to think about learning a bit of infant resus, regardless of whether you're doing AK, BLW or a mix of everything.
some BLW gagging info and thoughts from other mums here

Report
VengefulSquirrel · 03/09/2007 11:32

Thanks, Aitch. Will look into that. x

Report
Tapster · 03/09/2007 13:10

Self feeding yoghurt quite fun for DD, she will take it off the spoon and will spoon feed herself some food now but yoghurt slips off so not very successful. I am very tolerant of mess, clear up, change her clothes and sometimes mine

Nephew very round - they say he never seems to want to stop eating his mush and never know when he is full . Seemed to eat vat fulls.

Aitch reassured me about choking. DD gagged up all her food the first 3 BLW meals and then never again.

Another concern I had was is she eating enough by BLW. Dietician at hospital v. reassuring - they need to eat about 2 of their fists full, stomach size of one fist and can expand to one more fist full. Pureed food has much more water than if you do BLW so that is why it seems your child eats little compared to other babies. Dietician very impressed by successful BLW experience.

OP posts:
Report
Habbibu · 03/09/2007 13:14

Hell's bells. Mine ate a vatful of pasta last night. Maybe her fists are too small...

Report
mumtodd · 03/09/2007 13:21

My dd is 15 months and I have the same problem with mil with regards force feeding. DD sits in her booster seat beside me at meals. She has a plate of what we are eating and eats some with her fork/spoon and some with her hands and I offer the occasional spoonful as we go along. A few times mil has been around at meal times and she likes to mash up the food quite wet and literally ram it in to dd's mouth spoon after spoon without giving her a chance to swallow. She already thinks I am over-protective but I had to intervene a few times as poor dd was about to choke. MIL also believes in distracting the baby while feeding them but I believe the exact opposite. I think even a small child has the right to experience and enjoy all aspects of a meal - the taste, texture etc and the social aspects.

Report
Aitch · 03/09/2007 13:33

tapster, i'd be very grateful if you could put what happened with the dietitian on the blog here might be a good spot. that's great that the dietitian is happy with the baby's intake, very encouraging as i think that it is something it's hard not to worry about.

Report
Clary · 03/09/2007 13:43

I didn't do BLW with any of mine tho I think it's really interesting (not so much around about it 4 yrs ago) but even then, DS2 was waaaaay away from beign spoonfed purees by 11mo.

He ate his Christmas dinner with his hands at 8mo and I didn't look back. I really don't think an 11mo should a) still be eating purees b) still be being spoonfed c) not be on finger foods so yes, in short Tapster, you were quite right. hah!

Report
Tapster · 03/09/2007 14:45

aitch done but had a bit of a typo moment!

OP posts:
Report
Aitch · 03/09/2007 15:39

happens to us all...

Report
webchick · 04/09/2007 14:45

I would carry on what you are doing - you will have the last laugh in a few months time when your DD is munching away herself quite happily whilst her cousin fusses about with purees for the next x months.

My MIL thinks baby jars are the way to go whilst I am a bit more home made with jars for immediate convenience and that's it.

If you feel you cant take her opinions just dont go and visit her for a while ;)

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

gillhowe · 04/09/2007 17:50

Clary - when do you think they should stop being spoonfed? Its something I've been wondering about with DS.

wrt to choking to me that seems a bit of a red herring, even if you don't blw your baby could still choke on thier finger food (or something on the floor as aitch says!). A lot of people seem to forget this but non BLW'd babies still should have finger food!!!

DS is not BLW'd, he choked on a bit of baby sweetcorn today - absolutely terrifying but fine in the end!

Report
Albsmum · 04/09/2007 18:02

Mine's 11 months old, has been on "proper" food for 6 or 7 months ! My mum almost had a heart attack when she saw him eating chicken curry and rice with his hands !! He's never been too bothered about taking the spoon until last week - now, he is happy for me to help with 'my' spoon, as long as every other mouthful he does himself ! Quite hilarious tho - he also eats his yoghurt with his hands - yes it makes a mess, but he's happy, and he's eating. Surely we've got other things to worry about !
Re. the force feeding thing - sounds a bi weird to me, and not something I'd like to try, but when I used to look after my godchildren a few years ago, we had a timing rule - used to count to ten between each spoonful - tell the grandparents its eductational and you want her to do it - and it might help.
Good luck x

Report
Albsmum · 04/09/2007 18:03

Also, forgot to say - in terms of mess clean up, I've bought a load of paint dust sheets from Homebase which I cut up into large sqaures - then at meal times I just put one of them under the high chair. When he's finished eating, I just get him out, roll up the mess and put the whole lot in the bin !! Perfect

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.