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Polite ways of telling people I'm not going to be starving my DS if I do BLW

(37 Posts)
sazzybee Sun 26-Aug-07 17:16:07

I have just been told by several different people over the course of this weekend:

- my DD is ready for weaning as she's started sleeping badly (she isn't quite 4 months)

- I can't believe you're waiting so long, you'd have much better nights

- I had to wean my DS at 4/5 months because my milk just wasn't enough

- your DS's sleep problems are because he's hungry

- babies need weaning because they can't get enough calories from milk alone

etc

People have made me feel like I'm starving him if I do this and that unless I want broken nights for ever, I'd better start shovelling in purees as fast as I can.

Is there a polite way to tell people that they're wrong? hmm

NutterlyUts Sun 26-Aug-07 17:18:54

I'd go with a simple feck off myself

belgo Sun 26-Aug-07 17:21:16

tell them your baby is sleeping fine (even if he's not).

Sparks Sun 26-Aug-07 17:26:03

Why do people always give unwanted "advice"? Just don't engage with them on it. My approach was just to smile and say "She's fine."

skerriesmum Sun 26-Aug-07 17:27:21

I've had some of this and I say "he's so independent I can't get a spoon into his mouth, finger foods work much better" (true actually!)

sazzybee Sun 26-Aug-07 17:31:05

'feck off' - very polite

I've gone for mmmm so far. As in:

Them: Well it might be okay for now but wait till he gets to 9 months. He'll be ravenous if he's not eating properly.

Me: Mmmm

Bit of a cop-out.

I think some people are taking it personally - that I'm implying they're wrong for going down the puree route (which I suppose I am but I didn't think it was a competition).

whomovedmychocolate Sun 26-Aug-07 17:32:45

Tell them my 10 month old DD - who is on the 99.9th percentile and eats lots of solids still doesn't go through the night and that kids are individuals and that actually the Department of Health reckons early weaning is very bad for babies and conscientious caring parents such as yourself will be waiting till your baby is ready, rather than foisting food on her for your convenience.

Or tell them to feck off as Nutterlyuts suggests. I like her suggestion better.

NutterlyUts Sun 26-Aug-07 17:38:31

At the end of the day, politeness is only going to get you so far, and imo feck off works much quicker, and means the person knows in no uncertain times how much you couldn't care less!

mummymagic Sun 26-Aug-07 17:54:14

I'd go with skerriesmum, claim it's not your decision (it was true for me too). You'll find you work out your own version of BLW and will help baby if they seem particularly frustrated - if their motor skills don't match their hunger (although I am skeptical of this - you can always give them more milk).

We have had it particularly with one friend and sometimes get it now because she doesn't eat much compared to our friend's baby who eats for England. I just say 'well, she eats when she is hungry and then when she has had enough, she stops'.
Isn't that the point? hmm

It's also worth reminding people that their main source of nutrition is actually milk til they're about one anyway. So all the extras (puree/food) is just to get them ready for eating meals at 12mths-ish. People seem to relax when you say that (some people get so stressed about food).

mummymagic Sun 26-Aug-07 17:56:45

PS a simple, 'well, it works for us' is good for 'defensive' purposes. Or a smile and 'well, that's what we do.'

sazzybee Sun 26-Aug-07 18:09:54

Ah but you see mummymagic, it's the bit about milk being their main source of nutrition until they're one that they really take issue with.

It's not very helpful that I haven't actually started weaning yet so they can do the 'we know what we're talking about as we're experienced mums and you're a newbie who doesn't know what they're talking about'.

I should never have told anyone I found out about this through mumsnet - it's never very convincing to say you're doing something because you read about it on the internet

You're all right though - I should stop worrying what people think.

mummymagic Sun 26-Aug-07 18:21:41

You: Ah well, we'll just see what happens and give him what we're eating. Apparently its called BLW

Others; he'll not sleep, you'll need to feed puree etc.

You: 'Oh ok, well I'll see what happens then'

You can always just say 'ok' and then ignore them (like I did with the hv that told me to feed my 2 week old on 4 hr schedule).

bitzermaloney Sun 26-Aug-07 19:49:55

Go and read lots of articles on it (links on aitch's blog) and then say "I've done the research" as pompously as possible. Apparent total and utter confidence is quite good for shutting off discussion, I find. grin

And I wish someone had told my ds that weaning would make him sleep better. hmm Took him another 5 months. As for the food, it took him a while to get the hang of it, but at 12 months he will eat anything (chilli sausage pasta with peas and cream today, in an adult-size portion...).

Aitch Sun 26-Aug-07 20:10:08

just say 'oh well if we hate it we can always do purees, but it's worth a try because i am Very Lazy'. because that was the truth in my case, tbh. grin

belgo Sun 26-Aug-07 20:15:54

aitch - the problem with saying something like tongue in cheek like 'I'm lazy' is that it can come back to haunt you - people can use it against you.

choosyfloosy Sun 26-Aug-07 20:27:20

'Mmmm' is really underrated as a conversational tool. I'd keep with that, tbh.

If feeling less nice, you could always say, 'You did what? Oh my God, did you really feel you had to do that? Poor you, that sounds so tough...' etc etc.

Aitch Sun 26-Aug-07 20:29:57

gawd, really? in what way? it is not news to any of my friends/acquaintances that i am profoundly idle...

tbh the only hmm i got was from people who felt that by doing something different i was implicitly criticising their method. i wasn't, of course, but there's not much you can do about people who feel that way so i didn't really engage with them about it. smile

belgo Sun 26-Aug-07 20:32:25

aitch - I'm thinking MILs and SILsgrin

Aitch Sun 26-Aug-07 20:34:35

ah. well, i do thank the lord every day that dh is an only child. grin but tbh my mil thinks i am he laziest, gobbiest, most awful person on earth so it's not an area where i would tolerate much discussion from her really.

maisym Sun 26-Aug-07 20:35:26

I'd just ignore their interference

belgo Sun 26-Aug-07 20:57:38

People find BLW fascinating in action. My mother was so impressed that my 10 month old dd could pick up one grain of rice at a time, and eat a brocolli floret as if it was an ice cream conegrin. Suddenly, having been well behind with weaning, she was well ahead of all the other ten month old babies who were still on purees.

DontCallMeBaby Sun 26-Aug-07 21:04:13

It is fascinating to watch! DH, completely unprompted, admired my friend's DD2 eating her lunch, and friend was VERY proud. DH isn't at all interested in babies and weaning (wasn't really when DD was at that age) but just thought this little person feeding herself carrot was really cool. Actually a nice close-up photo of said baby's thigh would make a good reposte to anyone who thinks a BLW baby would starve ... not likely.

ruddynorah Sun 26-Aug-07 21:05:47

show them the photos on aitch's blog....no skinny minnies on there wink

Aitch Sun 26-Aug-07 21:10:25

that is SO true, isn't it? i remember when that first hit me, actually, i was amazed that i hadn't noticed before just how many deliciously chubby-wristed babes there are on there.

ruddynorah Sun 26-Aug-07 21:11:26

hardly wasting away are they?!

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