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That ever present 'bottle refuser' post. Please help!

(26 Posts)
HT85 Mon 07-Aug-17 12:11:24

Hi all

My daughter is 6 months. I have pretty much flat out given up on giving her a bottle as it has never worked, tried all the tricks in the book. One night I left her with my mum and loads of milk and hoped for the best but had to come back as she sobbed for an hour (my mum was naughty and didn't tell me straight away as wanted to persevere).

Anyway, I'm starting to get a bit deperessed and feel isolated. I am desperate to just have the occasional night out - I want to feed her long term (2+ years if she so decides) but the idea of never being able to leave her at bedtime fills me with utter dread.

She is 6 months and not yet that fussed with solids although has some. DH and I have a night out booked in October when she'll be almost 9 months and I imagine having more solids, has anyone had any success leaving their bottle refuser for an evening once baby is actually eating more? I want this night out to be something to aim for. Perhaps a nice filling evenig meal and I'll obviously feed her before I go, and maybe a walk in the buggy will do it?

Any success stories please!

HT85 Mon 07-Aug-17 16:04:11


GaryBarlowsTaxReturn Mon 07-Aug-17 16:49:15

I take it you've tried different bottles? My baby would only drink out of Dr Browns.

Chuffingchuff Tue 08-Aug-17 09:30:52

Very stubborn bottle refuser here too. She's now 11months old. She eats 3 meals a day and snacks, and I am now starting to wean her off the breast as I, like you, just need to be able to go out. I haven't been out since before I was pregnant, and by out I mean a night out with friends or with DH without children. My DD will drink water out of a bottle now after a lot of persistence, but flat out refuses formula. I can only assume she just doesn't like the taste. So now I am trying her with milk which she is also refusing.

Anyway, just wanted to say the way I got through it was afternoons out with DH on the weekend, where DD stayed with my Mum for a couple of hours. She could give her food if she wanted it, and there wasn't a fear of her waking up like if I had left her for an evening. Made me feel so much better.

sexyflanders Tue 08-Aug-17 09:38:22

Silly question maybe but have you got the right teat? I spent £££ on bottles, only to realise I'd been using newborn tests, doh!

Also test different temperatures, DD is less fussy now but initially wanted the milk really warm.

The Minbie bottles are good too.

HT85 Tue 08-Aug-17 10:02:16

@garybarlowstaxreturns (excellent name!) yes we've tried all, probably except doctor browns but I'm reluctant to get another because I think she just doesn't want to accept my milk from anywhere else. It doesn't seem to be that she doesn't understand how to use the bottles. Stubborn girl!

Thanks @chuffingchuff yes I think a couple of hours out in the afternoon sometime will be a good start and will be all I really need for now. I certainly don't feel the need to go out and party - it's just certain things like gigs and theatre and things are only on in the evening but I suppose I'll just have to wait. I really didn't want to think about weaning her off the boob at a year like you but I really can't think of being stuck to her for another year on top. I know it sounds awful but it's just the truth! I love being a mama but also do miss some moments of freedom.

@sexyflanders we haven't actually tried the minbie I have heard good things. Maybe I WILL fork out one last time 😂 I wish you could hire bottles somewhere! And yes I have still been using newborn teats perhaps I'll try a minbie with 6+ teats. Just disheartening to spend more money on something that I feel won't work. Need to be more positive!

sexyflanders Tue 08-Aug-17 11:24:37

Before you splash out on the minbie, just try the 6+ teats. It had an immediate effect on our DD and she downed a bottle straight away

HT85 Tue 08-Aug-17 11:58:31

Thanks @sexyflanders. Out of interest which bottle worked for you in the end with the 6+ teats?

Chuffingchuff Tue 08-Aug-17 12:10:28

HT85 I tried the Minbie, never worked for us so I ended up selling it on eBay! She will now drink water from the Avent bottles. Just be aware that Minbie will not accept returns if your baby won't take them.

GodIsDead Tue 08-Aug-17 13:01:35

My 7 month old was the same and we bought a free-flowing sippy cup for him and he loves it. He'll hold it himself and drink a full cup of milk. It's brilliant. Ours is tommee tippee and cost £2.99 at co-op so it's cheap enough to try.

HT85 Tue 08-Aug-17 13:02:45

Thanks @GodIsDead, I tried the tommee tippee cup and no luck

TinyTear Tue 08-Aug-17 13:35:42

At 9 months it will be easier... they can go straight to a beaker like the tommee tippee... or just give plenty of dairy in the food - full fat milk or breastmilk in porridge, cheese, yogurts and go... then she might be attached to you as soon as you come back for 2 days, but she will be fine

my bottle refuser went to nursery at 8 months old and managed fine

dodecahedronandonandon Wed 09-Aug-17 19:44:47

My bottle refuser loved babycup first cups. Really good!

PeanutButter82 Thu 10-Aug-17 03:22:57

I'm having some success with a doidy cup (got ours from Amazon) with my bottle refusing 4 month old. It makes a bit of a mess, with at least half the milk going down her front, but if that means half the milk actually going in her mouth that's not too bad! An older child with a bit better coordination would probably find it much easier.

PumpkinSpiceEverything Thu 10-Aug-17 04:00:40

Mine didn't take a bottle until 11.5 months, then it was smooth sailing. Sorry I can't offer more help, but one day it did just work so there is a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak!

MrsPandaBear Thu 10-Aug-17 05:26:02

We have had luck with beakers both times with my bottle refusers. Ds would drink from the Tommee Tippee free flow cup, DD from a munchkin 360 miracle cup. I'd definitely recommend trying the 360 cup if you haven't already, DD got the hang of drinking out of it immediately at 6 months and they can't spill it. The other beaker DS liked was a NUK first choice beaker, they have silicone spouts so are half way between a bottle and a beaker. Mine were used to drinking water from them every meal so have had lots of time to get used to them. If you are worried about getting her used to the taste you could buy the little bottles of premade formula and give it in a beaker with breakfast a couple of times a week?

katemeister Thu 10-Aug-17 06:10:44

A straw cup worked well for my bottle refusing DD but she never took too much milk from it. I managed a gig with DH when she was 7 months, just put her to bed a bit early with a feed and she was sleeping through so I knew she could go for a decent chunk of time without a feed and be fine. I did also go out on my own a couple of times after this and just did the bedtime feed a bit earlier. Plus going out in the say once snack and drinks had ramped up (It takes a few months for snacks and drinking to ramp up from 6 months) doing this allowed me to BF for longer in the end as I was getting some time to myself.

When she was around one, I dropped the bedtime feed. Much to my surprise she didn't want it replacing so just had a cup of milk with her dinner then bath - story - bed. Boom! I had my evenings well and truly back but continued to BF.

It can feel very overwhelming doing every feed so I hope you find a way to do something to lift your spirits.

I put myself under a lot of pressure that I must get my life back ASAP and other mum friends were going out and having child free weekends away early on. Once I accepted that will just take a bit longer for me, I felt a lot better.

user1471546359 Thu 10-Aug-17 06:29:53

Minbie (6 month teats) worked for my youngest bottle refuser at about 7 months. Nuk for my eldest, again at about 7 months old. My eldest did a lot of refusing but once she got the nuk bottle she was fine and it was smooth sailing. My youngest still took a lot of perseverance and as I tried to swap a feed to a bottle she would only drink a few ounces to begin with but after a few days the amount would go up. Watching TV while giving the bottle helps! And she will only drink warm milk too. So a lot harder but we got there in the end (and I think she just likes milk less than her sister, sometimes will just drink half her bottle and there's nothing you can do to convince her to have more!)

scrivette Thu 10-Aug-17 06:34:40

My bottle refuser liked the very cheap £1 bottles from Tesco as the rest was so soft.

scrivette Thu 10-Aug-17 08:54:58

'Teat' was so soft.

gallicgirl Thu 10-Aug-17 09:02:58

If she's 6 months maybe try a sippy cup instead? She probably won't take milk in a bottle from you because she'd rather have it from the source!
How long do you plan on leaving her? A few hours and home at midnight isn't so much of an issue as overnight.
My toddler feeds in the night but I left him with his dad overnight at 14 months and he was mostly fine. He's getting two nights with nanny soon, going to be a shock to both of them!

oldbirdy Thu 10-Aug-17 09:05:54

I had 3 bottle refusers. 2 were successful with the Playtex naturalatch nipples and for the third I had to buy something called the breast bottle which the whole top was squishy like a boob and you filled it from the bottom! I bet you can't get them any more but they were Lifesavers for me and many other bottle refusers. These mimijumis look like a similar idea

Heatherbell1978 Thu 10-Aug-17 09:18:07

Haven't read all the posts but DS was a bottle refuser. From the age of 6 weeks we tried everything, every bottle and teat you can possibly think of (you do need to spend £ trying them all if you want to persevere I'm afraid) and then one day I warmed his milk more than usual (I always use microwave despite advice) and he gulped it down. Seems he just preferred his milk that bit warmer.
DD (now 5 months) has taken a bottle from the very start and likes it much cooler (but not cold) so temperature can make a big difference especially if they're used to breast milk which is actually quite warm.

Theworldisfullofidiots Thu 10-Aug-17 09:48:15

We went straight for a cup. She's now 15 so survived!

Mustang27 Thu 10-Aug-17 09:58:29

I have no advice I had a stubborn bottle refuser and I just finished bf at 2yrs and 2 months I survived the having to be there at bed time but as he got older there was times he'd drift off without feeding and that got more often we had one night out lol. Now we are expecting againhmm lol poorly planned. I hope you get something sorted that allows you to feel like you are getting some time to yourself.

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