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Childminder and baby led weaning

(22 Posts)
RochelleGoyle Thu 13-Apr-17 15:34:38

Hi all,

Having a massive wobble. My son is nearly 8 months old and I am due to return to work full time in just over a week.

Here's my dilemma: (1) My son has never really taken his bottle from anyone but my husband and me. He can be difficult to feed at the best of times and none of my family have ever succeeded in feeding him. He has a milk protein allergy and was in a lot of discomfort when he was little until we got the diagnosis and he went onto special formula. I think this may have contributed to his fussiness around feeding. (2) We are trying to do baby led weaning and started just before 6 months but it is slow progress. He loves to taste and play with different foods but isn't really swallowing much yet, so he definitely still needs his milk feeds. Until now, I haven't been too worried about this as I've read lots of accounts of BLW experiences and understand that many children don't 'click' ad really start eating until 9/10 months.

We have found a lovely childminder and my son is doing some settling in days at the moment. However, she has so far been unable to get him to take any milk. Today, he was with the childminder from 10am to 2pm. When I dropped him off, I explained that he would likely need his bottle soon but unfortunately, he wouldn't take it, despite the childminder trying several times. When I collected him, the childminder asked if she could try spoon feeding him as he can't be spending longer days with her without eating anything/having bottles. There was also mention of him having eaten 'a few Quavers', which I didn't really take in at the time as I'm exhausted through lack of sleep and wobbling about leaving him/going back to work anyway. I had told the childminder about my son's milk protein allergy, however, and am annoyed that he has been given food which could have caused him an allergic reaction, when I have been clear from the start that he cannot have anything containing milk products.

Feeling upset as my baby has gone from 7am (his last bottle) until 2.30pm (when I got him home) without any food. When we arrived home, he woke up, immediately cried for food and drained a full bottle. I'm also now questioning whether I need to start getting him used to spoon feeding so that he can eat when he's with his childminder.

I'm really sorry if this all sounds a bit feeble but I haven't any mum friends and don't know who to turn to for advice. Just feeling like perhaps I've done the wrong thing and if I'd done traditional weaning, perhaps I wouldn't have this problem now. confused

rosesandcashmere Thu 13-Apr-17 15:38:12

You're not wrong to try any sort of weaning, but if your childminder needs to spoon feed perhaps get him used to it. A fed baby is a happy baby, don't be hard on yourself flowers

Excitement2017 Thu 13-Apr-17 15:43:27

I'd be less worried about the method of weaning than the fact she gave your ds something he's allergic to ??

ThisNight Thu 13-Apr-17 15:45:11

Introducing solid food takes time, and milk should be the main food until a year old. IME avoiding purée has longer term benefits, which I am sure you are aware of if this is the approach you have chosen. Having said that, many parents do a bit of both.

I'm would be shock about the quavers, but having read comments about 'faddy' diets on the other thread I'm not so sure.

You need to stress very strongly to the CM the importance in avoid milk and checking ingredients. Although seriously what 8 month old baby should be eating quavers, intolerance or not. Is this CM trained?

As far as the milk, you could try offering in a cup. If CM is experienced, she should be able to cope with this scenario - it's not uncommon.

ThisNight Thu 13-Apr-17 15:46:43

Ingredients in quavers

Potato Starch, Sunflower Oil (30%), Cheese Flavour
[Whey Powder (From Milk), Flavour Enhancers
(Monosodium Glutamate, Disodium 5’-Ribonucleotide), Flavouring, Milk Powder, Cheese Powder, Colour (Paprika Extract)], Rice Flour, Soya Flour, Salt Yeast, Onion Powder (Malt Flour From Barley), Pepper, Wheat Flour, Colour (Annatto), Potassium Chloride.

glenthebattleostrich Thu 13-Apr-17 15:47:14

I'm a childminder.

Babies can take a while to settle and can be difficult to feed when they aren't used to you and haven't built the trust yet. It will happen though.

Personally I try to get babies feeding themselves food (blw) asap as i find it promotes independence and decreases fussiness. Its good for development of the muscles used to talk apparently. Also means i get to eat too!!!

I would be furious about the quavers. If you take on a child with an allergy (I've looked after a couple) then you avoid poisoning them, it's sort of looking after kids 101.

ineedwine99 Thu 13-Apr-17 16:00:59

Hi Op, i would give some of the textured puree's a try, that's what we use for meals, but also give finger foods to aid chewing etc, tat way i know she's eating enough.

feesh Thu 13-Apr-17 16:07:14

Find another CM - the quavers thing would be a deal breaker with me. One of my twins has CMPI and we had the same battles with bottles and food (even at a tiny age he had learned to associate bottles and eating with pain), so you have my sympathy.

On the other hand, because I had twins I was a bit keener than most mums to drop bottles and I did gradually cut them out BEFORE my twins showed readiness to drop them, so that they'd eat more solids. So maybe if he won't have his Neocate with her, he will after a few days start to eat more?

I'd be peed off if she wouldn't do BLW though, it's especially important for CMPI kids to feel in control of eating due to their early negative associations with feeding and pain.

RochelleGoyle Thu 13-Apr-17 16:10:02

Excitement2017 - yes, I'm not happy about the Quavers but as I say, I didn't properly take this in when she told me. I will be addressing it at next drop off and I will give her a clear list of what he can/can't have. I don't really want him having crisps at all yet and have never given him any myself, so I will be asking her only to give foods that I provide and fruit.

This - the childminder has 28 years experience and she is qualified and registered! I thought she would be equipped to deal with difficult feeders. And yeah, I'm aware that Quavers aren't a nutritious baby food!

glen - it does make sense that he would take a while to get used to her.

Beginning to question whether I was clear enough about his allergy but when I dropped him off for his first settling in day, she checked with me whether he still had the milk allergy. I'm obviously going to have to make it black and white.

RochelleGoyle Thu 13-Apr-17 16:16:28

feesh - it won't be that easy to find another child minder (who is close enough, who can do the hours we need and who we can afford) sadly. I think I am going to have to try and re-iterate to her that this is a real allergy and she needs to pay close attention to ingredients if she is going to give him any food not provided by me. I suspect what happened was that my son saw one of the other children eating Quavers and was handed one. hmm

I think I might send him with his bottle(s) and some finger food next time and see how he gets on. I don't want to say 'Oh just spoon feed him then' because I'd been pleased with how he was handling/seemed to enjoy trying solids.

feesh Thu 13-Apr-17 16:18:40

She needs to know to check for ingredients like whey protein and other milk derivatives then.

nuttyknitter Thu 13-Apr-17 16:21:14

Would he take milk from a beaker type up? My DGD was breastfed and refused to take a bottle - she was happy to drink from a cup when she spent time with me. X

dementedpixie Thu 13-Apr-17 16:25:27

I'd try a cup too and send dairy free snacks for him to eat

Purpleprickles Thu 13-Apr-17 16:37:05

Both of my dc took a long time to take milk from their childminder. Also having experienced postnatal anxiety linked to my dd refusing to take her milk at around 6 months I was told repeatedly by HV that she will not starve herself so the same will be true of your ds.

With ds I was a blw purist mainly because he refused to be spoon fed, however with dd I've been spoon feeding and blw and it has worked for her. She will happily finger feed, spoon feed and now at 1yr will attempt to spoon feed herself. So if you do let the CM try spoon feeling, or try it yourself, it doesn't have to rule out blw and all the work he has done already. It can compliment it.

Good luck with the allergy side, it does sound like you need to spell it all out.

Excitement2017 Thu 13-Apr-17 17:56:54

My dad was CMPI till he was 10. A lot of people took it to mean he couldn't have milk, yogurt and ice cream......totally disregarding the many other milk containing foods .
He was offered a Milky Way once at pre school I said "doesn't the fact it's called a MILKYway give you a clue ??!!??" You really do have to repeatedly explain to some people

Excitement2017 Thu 13-Apr-17 17:57:12

Ds not dad!!

RochelleGoyle Thu 13-Apr-17 19:36:40

nutty and demented, I'll try him with his milk in a cup. So far only offered water that way and he wasn't interested.

Excitement Ha, yes the milky bit is something of a give away!

Thanks all. I am feeling more confident now. I think I was just so relieved to have found a minder who seemed to suit our needs that I didn't want to seem difficult. Pathetic really.

Excitement2017 Thu 13-Apr-17 21:01:40

Not pathetic at all flowers

Purpleprickles Thu 13-Apr-17 21:18:39

Totally not pathetic. Starting with the childminder is such a huge step!

RochelleGoyle Fri 14-Apr-17 04:56:22

Thank you both. smile

LaurieMarlow Tue 18-Apr-17 10:08:58

I would make up meals to send in with her that can be spoon fed (mashed though, rather than puréed). Along with finger food.

That way, you're in charge of the food intake, childminder is happy because baby is easier to feed, baby is well fed.

Continue to do all the BLW stuff at home.

Have a serious word about the allergies and stress that baby is only fed what you send in from now on.

MyschoolMyrules Tue 18-Apr-17 10:22:37

I am a childminder and I have looked after children with allergies and have always had a Food Allergy Action Plan given to me by the parents (written by GP) have you got one of those? Did the childminder ask you to fill in a medical information form?

Did your child have an allergic reaction?

It is not unusual for new children to be uncomfortable with eating during settling in periods. I have had many bottle refusers that took a few visits to happily take a bottle and to eat with confidence. It's not unusual. However, I would be worried about the dairy allergy (if it is an allergy).

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