Hating weaning(15 Posts)
I started weaning my LO two months ago, he's now 8 months. I'm doing a mixture of spoon feeding and finger foods. I've found it stressful and frustrating. He's on 3-4 bottles a day, recently dropped to more towards three even though he's not eating very much still. I'm trying to do two to three meals a day, some days miss our lunch if he's sleeping or if we are out. He eats a fair bit of yoghurt and mashed fruit in the morning but after that it's a nightmare trying to get him to eat either finger foods and spoon fed. Most of the time when spoon feeding he turns his head or shuts his mouth and my husband and I have to be very animated for him to at least open his mouth a bit. Only recently in the past week has he started picking up food from his tray, before that he would just ignore it and sit there. Now he's just screaming and crying with most meal times and it's getting me down and frustrated. It's affecting my relationship with him. There's no teeth coming through yet but he's been drooling for months. I'm preparing these meals for him but it all just gets chucked into the bin. I know he's still having his milk and "food for under one is just for fun" but now I feel like I can't even be bothered to get any food out for him and I absolutely dread all mealtimes as we both end up getting upset.
Can you switch to a more blw-inspired approach? I.e. plonk him in the highchair and put food in front of him. If he eats, fine; if he doesn't, he probably learnt something (improved coordination, anything!). Just take the frustration out of it for now - up his milk intake if you need to, he's going enough that it doesn't matter.
And relax - it will get better, even though it's shite now.
I have 3 DC and hated weaning all of them.
It's just not fun! I'd look at other kids and they scoff food down... Mine looked at food like it was vomit!!!!
Hated weaning with a passion !!!
I can relate to this, it does get easier & at that age just don't worry about how much or little he takes. Have two separate routines for milk & food as they are not related at this stage. For example for 3 milks - 7 morning milk, afternoon milk 2, & bedtime milk or if on 4 bottles 7, 10.30, 2 & bedtime. Then meals if on 3 bottles: try offering food at 8.30/9.00 then 11.30 & then a tea time about 4 if on 4 bottles make the breakfast meal a bit earlier.
Breakfast ideas - toast in strips, alongside some spoon fed porridge or wheatabix. Lunch try a mix of tray food & a bit of spoonfed. The more comfortable you both get the more finger food/food on the high chair you can give. Then for tea, finger foods are fine & a good time for experimenting as the bedtime milk is not too far away.
Once I separated the milk & the meal times I found it got better, also only put one thing on the tray or on offer as lots seems to make them throw everything off.
Nothing wrong with spoon feeding just make sure the baby is coming to it hungry, so if just had a milk, there will be tears.
I am no expert, but three children & not a fan of weaning so hope that is a bit helpful.
The times in my post are not meant to be prescriptive, it was just to demonstrate the gap you are trying to create between milk & solids.
The gap means the baby is not coming at solids too hungry & therefore cross it is not coming quickly enough & not too full that it is all a toy & they are not learning to eat.
You're at the shittest bit of it where it feels like you're just constantly putting food into the baby between milk feeds and weaning feeds. It gets easier rapidly honestly! I think by 8 months both of mine were much happier with the idea of trying a lot more finger food to sort themselves out (we didn't do BLW for various reasons but by the point DD1 had the motor skills to feed herself which were delayed I was very much leaving her to get on with it a lot).
I don't stress it if stuff doesn't get eaten - really something worth trying to remember for the toddler years when what was eaten willingly yesterday becomes something that will not be touched and is the worst food ever today - one of mine still tends to leave a fair bit of her evening meal a lot - she's just more of a breakfast/lunch person - I'm now of the mindset that the food was out - take it or leave it.
I'm doing BLW most mums/friends love it. My baby has just been crying at me like I've invented a new kind of baby torture.
She's coming up 7mo
Don't get me started on sippy or tippy or throw them over your head cups.
Hating it at the mo. My daughter definitely doesn't think food is fun.
I hate it too, on top of everything else in my life, it's just complication and worry and I don't have a proper kitchen or skills and she's getting picky.
OP i'm not sure you have to wean so rapidly? My health visitor said that by around 1 they should be weaned, and you start at 6 months but if they don't take to it until, eg, month 10, there's nothing wrong with that. The guidance they give tends to be based on averages and yours doesn't sound like an average baby. If they're happy with milk and still gaining weight then I think it's probably ok to ease off on the weaning side for a while, I'm not an expert but if baby isn't happy then that's more important than over-prescriptive advice I reckon
World Health Organisation i'm pretty sure says breastfeed until 2. The global average to stop bf is about 4. I know you're not bf but the bottles are your equivalent. So that's maybe why the baby doesn't like it. I'd want a health visitor to show me the evidence that babies have to be weaned so soon....
I hated weaning. My DD swallowed no solid food until she was around 11months, and ate the tiniest portions imaginable (think 3 pieces of pasta on a good day!) until she was around 20 months. She is now 2.3 and eats pretty well.
I have no advice other than just give him the tiniest amount possible so you don't feel like you are constantly throwing food out!
Can you just give him a bit of whatever you're eating, so you aren't preparing food just for him to throw it on the floor? Just put it in front of him and let him decide what to eat.
I was about to start a similar thread as I'm struggling to keep upbeat about weaning. All the babies I know seem to scoff food down like it's going out of production, but ds who is nearly 8mo is barely interested. I do both finger food on the tray and spoon feeding, but like yours he is mostly clamping his mouth shut and turning away when food is offered. The back of the high chair is more interesting than the food. He ate an entire tiny fromage frais the other day but my goodness it seemed to take forever and that was pretty much it for the day.
I really don't want us to develop control issues so trying to relax about it all but it is stressful. I just try to hold on to the thought he will probably click one day but it's hard to know what to do until then other than keep trying.
Just to say I find it really frustrating too. DD is 10 months and goes through phases when she's doing well with it and phases when she barely eats anything. She's started twatting around again at mealtimes - spitting everything out and refusing to eat much at all. It is frustrating when all the other babies around her are merrily scoffing down everything in sight. Her food strikes do seem to coincide with teething so I wonder if we have some new ones on the way.
I am trying to tell myself to relax about it but it's not easy!
Oh I just abandoned spoons at that age. Too much stress.
Have you used Ellas Kitchen pouches? They can be good for bridging this awkward gap before they start picking up soft pasta in earnest. I think we used pouches for the first 2/3 months as they like sucking on them and at least you're getting something into them.
He is still very diddy so don't fret and most importantly don't compare with other babies. I agree with others try a more blw approach. Let him choose what and how much he wants off his plate. Then he will find it more interesting. Keep to having meals together - that is important. It is a family activity and not some special torture for you both. Offer what's on your plate. My 2 found my food much more appealing. Keep trying lots of different food. My dd existed on peas for weeks around that age. She'd concentrate really hard on picking them up one at a time. Each meal Took ages but she was happy.
Sounds as if it's become very fraught for you both and that will exacerbate things. Rewind and start again.
Maybe offer finger food throughout the day too. For example when you sit with cuppa and biscuit sit him with you and offer a baby friendly biscuit. It makes food a social event rather than a boring necessity.
Have you tried yoghurt? It's a nice transition food. But be prepared for most of it to be around face, in hair etc
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