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How can I be diplomatic - should I bother saying anything...

(18 Posts)
suzi2 Fri 19-May-06 18:12:52

An aquaintance today told me that she was giving her 15wk old babyrice and thinks it might be unsettling his tummy. I told her that it could be as his gut may not be ready. We had a brief discussion about the '6 month' thing and she was of the mind that a few years ago with her daughter 4 months was OK so therefore it was OK.

I also think that she's been given misinformation by her HV - she was told that if a baby is 14lb then they are mature enough for weaning.

I'm the sort that usually says what I think - but I don't know this mum very well and don't want to upset her. Anyone got a diplomatic response if it comes up again? Or should I not bother getting into a conversation about it? I find it really hard not to stick my nose in

tracyk Fri 19-May-06 18:16:03

Maybe she will have taken the hint from this conversation and will look into it.
My friend has her 3rd baby and is sure her HV said from 4 months - I've told her no - 6 months - but don't want to bang on about it either.

LeahE Fri 19-May-06 18:17:33

You've reminded her about the 6 month thing already, so I don't think there's much more you can add. If it comes up again you can try the "if you think it's unsettling his tummy then I think you should trust your instincts and leave it for a few weeks, whatever your HV says" but otherwise keep out of it.

compo Fri 19-May-06 18:44:05

I wouldn't say anything to be honest. It's up to her and lots of people do still wean before 6 months for various reasons

gothicmama Fri 19-May-06 18:48:47

All babies are different so the 6 month is just a guide the WHO admit that it will not be suitable for all babies. I seem tio recall the age to start weaning changes quite regularly it was 4 mth with dd and to be honest she started earlier withno detriment with ds he is big and hungry baby so I think 6mths may not be suitable at all for him (he is 12lb at 8 weeks) I would be content to think I have mentioned it and leave it at that

suzi2 Fri 19-May-06 22:43:49

thanks everyone. I'll just hope the conversation doesn't come up again . hopefully she'll consider what I said - and given that she thinks it might not be agreeing with her DS I have a feeling she's already thinking that it cold be too early.

cece Fri 19-May-06 23:02:55

TBH I weaned both of mine at 16 weeks and if someone had mentioned the 6 month rule to me then I would have said yeah OK thanks and then ignored them. Think you have said enough if she wants to take note she will and if not then she will carry on.... It is only guidance and when dd was born the guidance was 4 months......

tiktok Sat 20-May-06 17:30:55

The guidance doesn't change often. It was 4-6 months (never 4 mths, despite what some HVs say) for many years. Now it's 6 mths - hardly a massive change, but even so it is evidence-based. 15 weeks is much too early. But you can't say more than you have said - it's up to her.

JoshandJamie Sat 20-May-06 17:38:11

There's a lot of debate between the 4 vs 6 month thing. But one thing is never debated: you should NOT start weaning before 17 weeks of age as a baby's tummy is just not ready for it. It's one thing I've read repeatedly and personally, I would say that (in the nicest possible way of course).

Just on the 4 vs 6 month thing: the World Health Organisation recommends that babies are fed exclusively on breast milk till 6 months. Part of the reason for this was for the developing world. In other words, if you're living in a place that doesn't have modern creature comforts or ways to prepare food healthily, it is far safer for babies to have 'sterile' breastmilk than food that is unhygenically prepared.

But they couldn't make a recommendation for some parts of the world and not the rest. So they made it a blanket recommendation. As far as I know the advice here is to try and wait until 6 months if possible. But if your baby is waking at night when it used to go through or is still hungry after a full bottle, you could start earlier - BUT NEVER BEFORE 17 WEEKS.

NotQuiteCockney Sat 20-May-06 17:39:59

Um, I'm pretty sure that story, about WHO recommendations really being for developping countries, is a myth. A popular myth, but a myth just the same.

harmonicacarrier Sat 20-May-06 18:13:12

no, it really isn't just about the developing world. it is about the developing gut and reducing the risk of allergies in the baby

littlerach Sat 20-May-06 18:14:46

That's what my HV said to me once as well.

That is in place for developing countries.

harmonicacarrier Sat 20-May-06 18:16:57

yes. It's balls. It's to do withthe permeability of the gut.

NotQuiteCockney Sat 20-May-06 18:18:36

I wonder about early weaning and IBS, too.

harmonicacarrier Sat 20-May-06 18:19:30


harmonicacarrier Sat 20-May-06 18:24:17

that review included seven studies done developing countries ane nine in developed countries

RedZuleika Tue 23-May-06 21:38:43

Surely the 'suddenly waking through the night when s/he used to sleep through' is a red herring too...? Wouldn't this just be more likely to be a growth spurt? (Which occurred somewhere before 3 and 4 months and again at 6 months, if memory serves...)

tiktok Wed 24-May-06 21:00:21

Please lets scotch this idea that somehow 6 mths is only for countries in the developing world.....that just gets HVs who don't know how to support exclusive bf off the hook.

The studies the recommendation is based on come from all over the world, including western countries.

In fact the debate that J&J refers to is among people who think that in some cases in the developing world, babies may need more than breastmilk because their anaemic, deprived and malnourished mothers may have milk very low in iron. The research pretty much supports 6 mths for them too, but some studies do indicate that for individula mothers in these ciurcumstamces, advice might change.

Among people who know what they're talking about, there is no real controversy about western women and babies following 6 mths. On the whole we are neither deprived nor malnourished nor chronically anaemic....

Waking at night is not a sign for weaning, either.

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