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Does anyone else hate weaning?

(20 Posts)
ThedementedPenguin Wed 10-Apr-13 14:57:42

My ds is nearly 7 months old. He is my pfb.

I started to wean around the 6 month mark, I started with baby rice but ds hated it so I went onto porridge which he loved, have tried a few other foods. He won't eat fruit or any veg.

For the past few weeks he has refused any food whatsoever, I get so stressed about it.

I went to hv today to get some advice but I'm still confused a bit. Although she did he'll me quite a bit.

Please tell me I'm not the only one not getting it, I hate it do much and wish he was just on bottles all the time.

ExBrightonBell Wed 10-Apr-13 18:18:51

I'm sorry you're having a bad time with weaning at the moment, it sounds like it's really stressing you out. I would say though that it is still very early days at not quite 7 months. Main nutrition is still coming from milk (breast or formula) so don't panic if your ds is not eating much. Some babies take longer than others to "get into" food.

Perhaps if you try and think of the weaning process as being about exploring and playing with food/flavours, rather than about getting quantities of food into your ds? That way it might help to reduce your stress levels around it.

Also, if you are not doing it already, have you thought about baby led weaning? It can be a good way of taking the pressure off - you just offer food and baby decides what and how much to eat. Often things that aren't liked the first few times become more popular over time. Some babies are happier to eat if they are in control, and if they are allowed to touch/explore the food first.


ballroomblitz Wed 10-Apr-13 18:49:42

Hey penguin . Came onto say I hate it also because I'm sick of being tied to the cooker and the sink and the whole day seems to be constantly about feeding - either food or bottles but I see you have other problems

I agree with BrightonBell and would try BLW. Just plonk down some food on his tray and let him work away himself. It may be an independence thing with your ds. I did it with my first and even though it looks like they get more food through their hair/on their face/ the floor, try not to worry about the amounts they are eating as it is just about exploring tastes and textures at this age.

I think I read it can take up to 15 times of trying one food whether they really know if they like a food or not.

Good luck. I'll have to catch up with the September thread.

ThedementedPenguin Wed 10-Apr-13 22:15:57

I've tried blw a few times but ds is so uninterested. Just plays with food it never goes near his mouth.

I think my main problem is the fact my niece (who is 3 weeks older than ds) is eating far more, also my little cousin (2 weeks younger than my ds) is eating so much and is always being compared to them. Everyone is constantly saying why is he not eating more.

I just feel like such a failure, I can't deal with this.

Ill give this a go tomorrow and see how I get on.

ExBrightonBell Wed 10-Apr-13 23:12:03

Oh, you're not a failure! Please don't think that - your family are really not helping by pressurising you like that. Next time anyone says anything tell them it isn't a competition and that they all get there in the end.

And anyway, your family are showing their ignorance really, as at this age it isn't about how much they eat at all. Nutrition comes from milk, with food being in addition not instead. Therefore it doesn't matter how much he is eating as he will be getting all he needs from milk still. You could tell them that if they mention his eating again.

Your ds may just need to spend a while playing and exploring food before he tries to eat some. It will help if you eat with him as he will copy what you are doing. Also, try to leave an hour after a milk feed before offering food. That way he won't be so full as to be disinterested, but he won't be so hungry as to be distracted and want milk.

I would also recommend getting a copy of Gina Rapley's book about BLW as it has lots of advice and explanations of the whole process. I found it helped me feel confident about how my ds was getting on, and also helped me explain it to more to grandparents etc!

ExBrightonBell Wed 10-Apr-13 23:22:29

Sorry, Gill Rapley, not Gina...!

Purpleprickles Wed 10-Apr-13 23:26:34

Just want to echo you are not a failure. IME weaning can take a loooong time and I could have written your post. My ds is now 4 but he was very hard to wean, refused purée, refused spoons. I'd go to meet other new mums and listen to them talking about how many ice cubes of purée their dc had eaten when all ds was doing was gumming a chunk of cucumber. I went down the blw route because I couldn't see another way with the whole spoon refusal. I got the Rapley book which is brilliantly reassuring and continually states that food in the first year is about exploring and not being full up. My ds pretty much ate just cucumber, aubergine, chicken for 3 months and then branched out a bit more but it did take until after his first birthday before I felt he was really eating. We gave him loads to try and I just kept the Rapley book close to me as my bible.

Now as I said ds is 4 and eats pretty much everything, he even came out with us for a curry the other night smile Hindsight is a great thing but if I did have another dc I'd blw them and not spend the hours worrying about the lack of food intake. They all get there eventually.

Purpleprickles Wed 10-Apr-13 23:29:02

Oh and I gave my Rapley book to MIL too so she understood it all as she is great but likes to get 'involved'grin

ZenNudist Wed 10-Apr-13 23:35:42

Don't get stressed. Pfb not going to starve. It's just food, mash it up. Don't get hung up on it being really fine. Babies need to learn to cope with texture. Keep up the milk feeds so you know they are getting nutrition. It's all an adventure.

The blw mantra about food before 1 is just for fun is helpful here. I liked annabel karmel the baby & toddler cook book. Has suggested meal plans, bit complicated but gives you a loose idea of timings.

Puréed pear is easy to do & a hit, as is sweet potato, apple purée, banana, carrot. Avocado. It's all little effort. If they don't eat don't worry, feed milk. It will come in time. Don't rush them. Relax.

Aworryingtrend Thu 11-Apr-13 08:54:22

I could have written your post! so glad im not alone but sorry you feel this way too. like you im constantly comparing what ds eats to other babies his age and it just seems like we are ao far behind. He is just 6 months but ive been weaning about 4 weeks and feel we have got nowhere. Practical stuff first: is he comfortable in his high chair? Have you tried him with shop bought jars and pouxhes as well as home made? it seems the texture of homemade isn't as smooth maybe as babies like. have you mixed veg with his usual milk? I am sure you have tried all these already.
I know emotionally its hard too-spending time (and money! ) preparing food to get it rejected. and everyone says what a fun time its supposed to be and has cute anecdotes of when little Johnny smeared avocado all over himself and you are thinking damn I wiah he even took that much interest in food! (I may be projecting here...grin ) Like you I wish like anything he was still just on bottles, life seemed so simple then. Now I avoid going out at mealtimes as I don't want to feed ds in public. sad

Aworryingtrend Thu 11-Apr-13 08:55:33

Must learn how to do paragraphs on phone...

ThedementedPenguin Thu 11-Apr-13 09:08:09

Thanks everyone. I'm going to have a look at the Gill Rapley and the annabel karmel books.

I've tried the pear wasn't fussed. I've tried jars and pouches which he eats better than homemade food, should I just continue to give him the pouches?

Ridersofthestorm Thu 11-Apr-13 09:27:37

OMG yes I absolutely hate it too and my ds is 10 months. I've had a nightmare with him from day one. Tried all kinds, had the best intentions from day one making everything from scratch and all organic, to giving him pouches. One minute he eats everything and its all going lovely then he just starts refusing stuff. The HV just told me he is fussy and learning what he likes and dislikes.
He's going through a particularly bad patch at the mo and it's hell getting him to eat anything unless its sweet stuff. However he loves fruit so he thinks he's getting his own way with sweet stuff when really he's having fruit hahaha
I've noticed that he goes off his food when he's teething and just wants the bottle all the time. I've also noticed that he will eat everything with daddy and grandma but not with me confused drives me mental. I think he sees having the bottle with me as a big comfort too so he would rather do that than eat.
I'm trying my best just to offer him all kinds of different things to eat, I refuse to get stressed and give up. But your dc is only seven months so I wouldn't worry too much yet, they will be fussy at first. But it does drive you mad when you hear all the other mum saying 'oh my dc eats all the time blah blah blah'. Don't let that get to you too much either, all children are different.
I've come to the conclusion that my ds is just not a big eater he eats when he's hungry (which is something I've had to accept that timing all his meals doesn't always work). Don't get stressed because they pick up on it, be consistent and don't stop offering things they didn't like first time round.
But I'm no expert, I'm learning as I go along but I totally sympathise with you, it's hard work.
Keep trying though smile

ThedementedPenguin Thu 11-Apr-13 10:05:34

Okay so this morning has been like this so far

Up at 6.50 for a bottle (I only gave 5 oz) usually has 7.
Went back to bed as he was up late last night and he feel asleep after bottle.
Awake just before nine. Came downstairs,
Tried ready Brek (refused) although I don't think I made it right. Also tried him on roast and apple. He tasted the apple once then threw it on the floor, toast got squished and threw on the floor.

So not a great start.

He due his next bottle at 10.50 so should I try to give him a snack then some bottle or what should I do?

ExBrightonBell Thu 11-Apr-13 11:46:49

Might be too late, but I wouldn't bother with a snack. I don't do snacks for my 9 month old unless we're out and he's bored.

If stuff gets chucked on the floor (and you know your floor is clean!) I would just pick it up and give it back to him. Or give him some more toast to play with. I usually prepare at least twice what my ds actually eats due to the amount that gets thrown about. Did you eat your breakfast with him? Try not to watch or intervene if at all possible, and don't praise or otherwise. One of the key points from the Rapley book is to make meals a neutral affair, so it just becomes a normal part of the day rather than a pressure point (if that makes sense!).

I made my ds porridge this morning, which he ate about two spoonfuls of. Some mornings he can eat two bowls full! So try not to worry if nothing/not much gets eaten it can change so much - he might be different at lunch!

ThedementedPenguin Thu 11-Apr-13 11:55:12

I didn't bother trying any more food. I just gave him his bottle (6 oz this time) trying to get him down for a sleep atm.

think I maybe need to get him into a better routine, if he gets up the same time, then breakfast, naps.

im going to buy both those books about weaning either purees or blw. I haven't fully decided what to do, but you are all great at helping me.

can anyone recommend a good routine, a book or something that I could read that might help me out a bit more. Maybe I should of read all these books when I was pregnant.

ExBrightonBell Thu 11-Apr-13 12:50:07

I'm the wrong person to ask about routines, as I am a bit resistant to them! Although I am trying to be more consistent. I have been using the routines from the Baby Sleep Site to give me a guide. Mostly because my ds is not so good at daytime naps.

Here's a link to their 7 month old suggested routines:

I would imagine that the Karmel book might have some suggestions as well, although I haven't read it.

Purpleprickles Thu 11-Apr-13 13:16:52

We didn't have a real routine either but I remember being up by around 9 by that stage then back for a mid morning nap and then an afternoon nap too. One routine I did stick to was to have ds eating with us (well gumming food, throwing it, squashing it), I'd do breakfast and lunch with him and then as much as possible in the week we'd all have dinner together. I think this really helped as it modelled eating for ds, although we didn't intervene or over encourage him to eat. It is so so hard not to stress about it and so easy to look back over 3yrs on and say do this do that but I promise it does get better. Your situation sounds completely normal to me.

IdaClair Thu 11-Apr-13 13:30:52

DD is 7 months and a few people I've met at baby groups etc recently have said ohh weaning isn't it a nightmare to me so you're not alone. I don't find it stressful to be honest but then I don't really know or care what she eats, so if it's treated as messy play time as least it keeps her busy.

All I do is put her in the chair and put some food in front of her when we're eating. Sometimes it goes on the floor, sometimes she bashes it, sometimes she squishes it, sometimes she eats it, sometimes she eats lots. I have a shower curtain under the chair so things that drop can be picked up and given back, and tidying just means scooping the lot in the bin and putting the sheet through the dishwasher, or giving it an antibac squirt.

I just make sure to bf her before she eats so she isn't hungry and frustrated. I'm sure some days she eats nothing, but other days it evens out. They say to look at intake over the course of a week not a day or a meal, and it'll even out. Some days she eats only carbs and some days only protein etc, it's why I like giving her several options of things to eat, instead of it all being pureed up or mixed together, so she can select what she needs.

Honestly, don't worry about it, just give him something from your plate (babies always want what you're having) sit next to him and eat yours, and let him do what he likes with his. And repeat!

Souper Thu 11-Apr-13 13:45:50

Just to echo what everyone else has said - seven months is really early days. DS hardly ate anything until he was about 8.5months. I did BLW, so he used to sit in his high chair with a few bits of toast, some sticks of carrot and apple, a bit of chicken or whatever was handy. Some days he chucked them on the floor, others he gummed them a bit and then chucked them on the floor. DH used to come home and ask how many molecules of food he had actually swallowed that day... Hahaha!

I was utterly stressed at the time, and it was really not helped by meeting all our friends who were pureeing. Their babies were enthusiastically eating everything offered! But DS was a spoon refuser unless he was holding the spoon.

Anyway, he did eventually start swallowing more and now at 2.4 he is a great eater. His weight was always fine.

Just keep going with offering foods whenever you are eating and try your best not to get stressed. It will all be fine in the end!

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