Hi My DD is 13mths old- she has 3 meals & 3/4 bottles a day. When is it best 2 let her try 2feed meals herself? She eats finger foods fine, but not sure how she will be feeding herself with a spoon??!! Also I'm not sure if she is having enough or 2 much?? I'm also struggling with her trying 2drink from a free flow cup (which hv suggested she should do) She doesn't even hold the bottle??!!
We did BLW so not a very similar experience to you but FWIW DS was feeding himself finger food from 5.5mo and with a fork/spoon from 14/15 months... Let your DD be the guide - give her a fork/spoon to play with while eating - she'll do some shovelling and you can do some too... gradually the transition will shift.
There is no set time where you let them feed themselves and when you do give them a spoon remember they have never done it before so ability and coordination is something they have to learn weather it be through play or meal times. Start slow. Give her a go on a day your not in a hurry and don't mind the mess. Let her play with oats or something edible at her high chair with different utensils and pots.
It doesn't sound like she is ready for a free flow cup. HV always seem to push that on. My dd uses a tommy tippie with a lid. When she started there was plenty of coughing and spluttering but again it's a learning process. They can't learn unless you give them opportunity to learn.