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how to blw if daughter wants to be fed?

(26 Posts)
smokesandmirrors Fri 10-Jun-11 17:36:32

I'm nervous but I want to try to do baby led weaning. My 6 and a half month old daughter hasn't been that interested in food but we sit down together (I'm a single parent) every day and I eat and try to encourage her. She's gone from being disinterested to taking it if held out. Sometimes. Then dropping it. But as soon as I hold it up, she opens up her mouth - she definitely wants to be fed.

I don't want to start spoon feeding her but maybe it will help make that connection? Or should I just keep on and wait? Her mouth really does drop open. Maybe she's a (gorgeous) but lazy baby!! confused

RitaMorgan Fri 10-Jun-11 17:43:45

If she wants to be fed, then why not try that?

Lady1nTheRadiator Fri 10-Jun-11 17:46:08

My DD can mostly manage to feed herself but if I hold a bit of banana up she opens her mouth and leans forward smile so I just feed her, and try to encourage her to hold it herself. They come on fast, I see the 'helping them' phase as quite short so I don't mind doing it. Otherwise, just wait it out, she will get there either way.

Flisspaps Fri 10-Jun-11 17:47:11

It's up to you. She won't starve if you wait - she just might not be ready yet. She'll get everything she needs from milk for the next few months still smile

smokesandmirrors Fri 10-Jun-11 18:19:02

I thought BLW was about not feeding her, but getting her to take control. Or am I wrong? I find it quite confusing

RitaMorgan Fri 10-Jun-11 18:21:15

You are right BLW means letting them exclusively feed themselves.

But you don't have to do BLW, and it sounds like your DD wants to be fed.

smokesandmirrors Fri 10-Jun-11 18:22:49

There's the rub. I really want to do BLW because I know, in the long run, she'll benefit. All the kids I know who've been BLW have a fantastic relationship with food.

Paschaelina Fri 10-Jun-11 18:23:59

If she likes you feeding her, with fingers or a spoon, then you are being baby-led. Just try what seems natural and she will either take it or refuse. She won't eat more than she wants just because you have a spoon.

Just do what seems right at the time.

Paschaelina Fri 10-Jun-11 18:26:14

Some babies are ready sooner with their mouths than their fingers. Its not wrong to offer it to her mouth if she cant coordinate very well yet.

bluebobbin Fri 10-Jun-11 18:26:14

I think you should just feed her. It is ironic that BLW stands for baby lead - your baby is showing you what she wants - to be fed. BLW is not best for every single baby IMO/E.

RitaMorgan Fri 10-Jun-11 18:26:26

Are you still feeding on demand? If she's still getting lots of milk then she won't starve if you wait it out. I'd maybe give vitamin drops though.

RitaMorgan Fri 10-Jun-11 18:28:24

I also do think though, if she's interested/enthusiastic about trying food now you don't want to overlook it because she isn't doing it the "right" way.

Paschaelina Fri 10-Jun-11 18:31:10

Playing with textures and flavours in her mouth and spitting it back out again is as important as getting it in there in the first place. Not everything has to be learned at once.

smokesandmirrors Fri 10-Jun-11 18:32:12

I agree with all that is said. She's formula fed, and is definitely getting what she needs from the milk so I don't feel like I need her to eat. I think I need to find a balance between helping her and also encouraging her to do it herself.

Bumperlicioso Fri 10-Jun-11 18:43:38

If that is what she is leading you to do then that is blw. I posted exactly the same thread about dd2 two months ago. The same dd2 who just now hoovered up a plate of chicken and pasta and a satsuma with no help from me grin

smokesandmirrors Fri 10-Jun-11 18:47:11

Oh thanks Bumperlicioso - that's really encouraging. Can you link me to that thread? Be interesting to see results. And, if you have time, can you just tell me about your experience and what you did?

I find this whole weaning malarkey much harder than I expected - hard as in if I'm handling it right. I suppose I need to trust myself and daughter

Thanks all

Bumperlicioso Fri 10-Jun-11 19:26:03


I was a bit miffed at first. Dd1 was completely BLWed and I just hadn't signed up for spoon-feeding.

What I found is that while she could feed herself traditional finger foods, she wouldn't get stuck into anything sloppy or even pasta. We stuck with it. I continued to spoon feed her, but I would just chop up whatever we were having, eg pasta and spoon fed her that (required about 3 spoons, one for me, one for her and one for the floor!), while still offering her it to pick up, and then eventually I noticed she was hoovering up more pasta than I was feeding her. And she got the knack of shoving things like rice into her mouth.

Just go with the flow, don't get hung up on labels, and keep offering finger food. I would even occasionally hold finger food to her mouth so she realised what it was (though that is a blw no-no!).

SoupDragon Fri 10-Jun-11 19:29:12

Just feed her. Hold the food out and let her take it. If she wants to at it she will, if she doesn't, she won't.

Lady1nTheRadiator Fri 10-Jun-11 19:32:09

<Waves to bumper>

Sounds like our DDs have the same ideas, and DS was also completely BLW, he was very good at feeding himself very quickly. DD has needed the extra help, and with DS I would have really hated to feed him, worried about it going against the ideal of BLW etc, this time around I am just going with the mashed-up flow...

so yes OP you said it yourself - trust yourself, and your DD, tbh thinking of the other 3 year olds I know, some eat well, some don't, weaning method seems to have little bearing, but BLW is lovely when you all eat together and don't have to cook separate meals etc - but spoon feeding a little isn't damaging either.

Lady1nTheRadiator Fri 10-Jun-11 19:34:01

Sorry, not that you have to cook separate meals if spoon-feeding, I don't know what I meant <tired>

Bumperlicioso Fri 10-Jun-11 19:39:24

Hey LITR smile

Agree with what you said. Dd1 is a fussy beggar despite what is proclaimed about BLW. But dd2 has turned her nose up at very little and I'm going to try a bit harder at sticking with stuff for her, namely veg. Dd1 will only eat cucumber. So she has it with every meal!

As LITR said, blw and all eating together is lovely. But I think it is as much about the foods you give them as the method of feeding. You can still spoon feed without having to use purees, which I was grateful for as I have a personal aversion them, make me want to gag <bleugh>. Was such a relief to not have to use them. There is nothing wrong with them but blw does avoid the whole 'transition' to solid foods.

smokesandmirrors Fri 10-Jun-11 22:40:16

Also, this is me being neurotic - should I be worried that she may have coordination problem? I am pretty sure she stuffs toys into her mouth, or has done, although at the moment her fist is usually in there as she's teething. But I read somewhere that on some rare occasions, there's a physical issue with a baby who can't coordinate.

Paschaelina Fri 10-Jun-11 22:44:24

It all takes practice. In 6 weeks time you will be amazed at what she's learned to do. Boy is just now getting the hang of peas at 9m. At 6m he couldn't hit his mouth with broccoli.

kalo12 Fri 10-Jun-11 22:45:45

i did both in combo. it was all fine.

sancerrre Sat 11-Jun-11 15:00:50

Mine's 6 and a half months too and am doing a bit of both, letting him play with it and try to get it in his mouth and also helping him by popping some little bits in there myself so that some does actually get ingested. It stops him getting too frustrated.

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