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play date with unvaccinated children

(58 Posts)
Carrotpuree Fri 04-Mar-16 19:17:22

My own view is that you vaccinate children unless health issues preclude it - I also look both ways before crossing the street - but I can respect another's opinion as I you never know all their reasons...however what about playmates who are unvaccinated? Delightful friend has children similar ages to mine (3 and baby) but both are unvaccinated. They do travel abroad with the children. Are my 2 DC safe, especially my DD who hasn't had all her jabs yet?

ShapeShifting Fri 04-Mar-16 19:19:03

Marking place as I am intrigued. My children are vaccinated

phequer Fri 04-Mar-16 19:21:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jemimapuddleduk Fri 04-Mar-16 19:22:19

Place marking as interested re responses. I actually now feel very strongly about people who don't vaccinate healthy children. My 18 month old has leukaemia so won't be able to have his outstanding vaccinations. People who don't vaccinate their healthy children really put others at risk. I am hoping that by the time my ds recovers and hopefully gets to nursery and school there won't be any unvaccinated children in his class. Very selfish in my opinion.

bonzo77 Fri 04-Mar-16 19:27:07

Your fully vaccinated kids will probably be ok. I say probably because vaccines are not 100% effective. However if they're not yet fully vaccinated, I'd not knowingly mix with the non vaccinated.

trilbydoll Fri 04-Mar-16 19:28:24

You wouldn't know at nursery or at a party or similar. And hopefully they're benefitting from herd immunity wink

I wouldn't worry once the first jabs were all done (16w) unless there was a measles outbreak or similar locally.

DaphneWhitethigh Fri 04-Mar-16 19:30:10

When you say "abroad"? Sweden? The Congo?

RoseBud999 Fri 04-Mar-16 19:35:24

I think you have to be realistic about these things. Every time you leave the house you are exposed to those who may or may not carry various diseases, and adults and children who may never have been vaccinated in their lives. We are also surrounded by people who were born outside of the U.K., or who travel all over the world and back.

You can only take sensible precautions, those being to vaccinate your own children. Then you hope for the best. Most of us posting have made it through decades of life without dying or being seriously incapacitated by illnesses which could have been prevented by vaccination. But it is a fact of life that it will happen to some.

Carrotpuree Fri 04-Mar-16 19:43:11

Thanks all, common sense answers. I am probably being overly cautious after caring for elderly parent with a chemo damaged immune system. That said, I think we'll be too busy for play dates with this family until Dd's 16 wk jabs are done.

SideOfFoot Fri 04-Mar-16 19:47:20

If the unvaccinated children had been unvaccinated for health reasons would you have been happy for your children to mix with them?

I appreciate that your baby isn't old enough to have had all its vaccines but I assume that the 3 year old has had them all. In that case why is someone else's unvaccinated child any concern of yours?

UmbongoUnchained Fri 04-Mar-16 19:52:26

I think if your kids are healthy and they've been vaccinated hey should be ok. But personally I wouldn't want to associate with someone who doesn't vaccinate their children. (Unless for medical reasons obviously)

Bastardshittits Fri 04-Mar-16 19:57:19

I have a few friends with un-vaccinated children and I have never thought twice about play dates with them. I don't agree with my friends decision but that is a separate issue.

Caprinihahahaha Fri 04-Mar-16 20:11:24

My daughter is unvaccinated. She is now 13.

I'm now curious as to whether you would decide to let your child play with mine if you agree with the reasons but would make your child keep away if you don't?

Devilishpyjamas Fri 04-Mar-16 20:18:32

My younger 2 are unvaccinated. I don't suppose most of their plsydates know (although they're a bit old for playdates now). I know quite a few of their friends are unvaccinated as well. I haven't had a booster of anything in 22 years so I don't suppose their immunity is all that much different than mine.

Ds2 was exposed to whooping cough aged 8 weeks. He didn't get it.

I keep myself & my children away from vulnerable infants when potentially ill. Was meant to be visiting a friend yesterday but her baby has a few health problems & I felt as if I might be about to go
down with ds2's hideous cold so cancelled, (actually it seems I'm fine).

Carrotpuree Fri 04-Mar-16 20:21:11

My feeling is that any parent who decides not to vaccinate their child & tells me such is making it my business. Especially if in the setting where our children play together.

However as I said, once my baby has her jabs I think it's ok to meet up. I would consider reasonable risks mitigated.

phequer Fri 04-Mar-16 20:21:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Devilishpyjamas Fri 04-Mar-16 20:25:22

Well they probably won't tell you! Some people think my reasons are justified, some don't. It does't make any difference to the (very low) chance of a vaccinated child catching something from them.

Carrotpuree Fri 04-Mar-16 20:25:31

Sorry Phequer , it doesn't make any difference to me why a child isn't vaccinated, known health issues is the only reason that I wouldn't vaccinate mine. That is all.

peggyundercrackers Fri 04-Mar-16 20:36:17

Germs that cause illness are everywhere on everyone. Not all adults have been vaccinated just like a lot of kids. Germs are on tables, chairs, toys etc. At doctors, dentists, play groups everywhere really that has toys.

There are many more sources of germs than unvaccinated children.

Lurkedforever1 Fri 04-Mar-16 20:41:58

As umbongo said, it would be getting friendly with the parents I'd have a problem with, not the dc.

Caprinihahahaha Fri 04-Mar-16 21:54:48

It's still an odd premis though isn't it. The idea that the child will be punished for the choice of the parent.
A child with medical reasons will be permitted to play, a child whose parents have made a choice that some/many object too, will be shunned.

Because a post saying 'I will not my child to an unvaccinated one' would have a thread of logic (albeit odd) but to say 'oh but I will make an exception if the child has a reason of which I approve' means it's not a medical choice but a decision to punish one child and not the other.

Caprinihahahaha Fri 04-Mar-16 21:55:48

*allow my child to play with an unvaccinated one

DayToDayShit Fri 04-Mar-16 21:58:11

What about when you go to the supermarket, schools, nurseries, restaurants, anywhere really, you will be passing unvaccinated children/adults so why is it so important regarding your friends dc?

Caprinihahahaha Fri 04-Mar-16 22:00:14

I was going to say I'd suggest avoiding soft play but to be fair I'd do that anyway grin

drspouse Fri 04-Mar-16 22:12:04

I'm a Guide leader and a girl came through our Brownies who I took away or on outings quite often, who I found out from a health form has never been vaccinated even against tetanus. Two issues here: sometimes I need to take my own DCs on outings or sleepovers and one of them hasn't finished their jabs yet, and also if we had to take her to hospital they have given us permission to authorise emergency medical treatment which for a wound would almost certainly include a tetanus jab.

I do regard taking my DCs on long day or overnight trips with unvaccinated children as my business, especially where I'm doing this as a volunteer! I know it won't necessarily be the same at school age but my current mum friends all share stories of jab days so I know they all stick to the schedule.

In an emergency with an unvaccinated Guide we'd obviously try to contact the parents but sometimes you have to treat first if you can't (e.g. if they are also away). And I and other leaders would go with medical advice (we'd be in huge trouble if we didn't) so would have to authorise a tetanus jab.

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