School mom rant

(40 Posts)
Fireflower201 Mon 04-Nov-19 15:40:24

My son who is 10 went to stay with his friend overnight me and the mom get on fairly well, basically we converse cause our sons are friends, I asked her what she planned to do and she said they was going out to eat and gone to play on the computer.

Today I collect my son and she tells me with joy she has let them go off to the park on there own, completely unsupervised 😳😳 would you be annoyed about this?

My son is not street wise, and for a 10 year old to just walk to the park on there own I’m very shocked by her actions.

What do you think?

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SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing Mon 04-Nov-19 15:41:34

Plenty of 10yos go to the park by themselves, but she was wrong to let him without checking with you first.

Disfordarkchocolate Mon 04-Nov-19 15:42:29

By 10 I would have no concerns.

Fireflower201 Mon 04-Nov-19 15:43:18

Yes I am shocked, I had spoke to this morning and she never mentioned it at all

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lazylinguist Mon 04-Nov-19 15:44:29

Depends on what the area is like, but most 10 year-olds around here go to the park with their friends and no adult.

Disfordarkchocolate Mon 04-Nov-19 15:45:14

I'm not sure that I would mention it either, in most places children go to the park on their own by 10.

TheReluctantCountess Mon 04-Nov-19 15:45:39

I think that’s fine.

Buddyelf Mon 04-Nov-19 15:45:53

I would be bothered too if she’d allowed them to go without checking with you if you were ok with it first. Just because her 10 year old is ok to go doesn’t mean yours is. I would have politely asked her in future to check with you before she allows your child somewhere out of the house unsupervised while in her care.

Foodtheif Mon 04-Nov-19 15:47:44

I would be ok for this if it were my 10 year old. At the end of the day they are off to secondary school in September and need to increase their independence skills before then.

Disfordarkchocolate Mon 04-Nov-19 15:48:02

You either trust her to look after your child in the way that she normally parents or you don't. If you don't then don't send your child over.

GrumpyHoonMain Mon 04-Nov-19 15:49:14

No offence meant but why are you sending a 10 yo with no road sense to a sleepover? By that age I would expect all children without SEN to be able to walk to the local park and would feel really uncomfortable having one over that didn’t. Anything could happen - For example if they needed to go shopping with the parents and he ran across the road.

Fireflower201 Mon 04-Nov-19 15:49:57

Yes I understand they need to have there independence but I wouldn’t have anyone else’s child without checking if the parent was okay with them going out unsupervised, I think I’m more annoyed as I spoke to her and she never mentioned anything, there was a good few roads to cross to get to this park too, maybe I’m overthinking it but I just feel the conversation should have been had first

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Namechangeforthiscancershit Mon 04-Nov-19 15:50:27

At 10 with no SN I would be concerned if your son couldn't go to the park with a friend and no adult.

Weird that she didn't talk to you though as she was rambling on about other activities quite happily. If he goes again, ask her to run an unaccompanied trips out by you first. He might not get invited back as a result but at least you'll know where he is which doesn't seem like a lot to ask

GinZinger Mon 04-Nov-19 15:50:33

We live rurally, not in middle of nowhere but certainly not in anything that could be described as a much as a town or anything.
I have dd who is 10.5 and she's been trusted to play out with her friends for a good couple of years at least

Disfordarkchocolate Mon 04-Nov-19 15:50:45

I think the conversation should have come from you.

Fireflower201 Mon 04-Nov-19 15:51:42

I never said he had no road sense I said he’s not street wise, In the sense he does not go out on the streets like that to play, where we live there are few children to play with, he tends to play out when I have friends over & that is just at the front of the house

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foamrolling Mon 04-Nov-19 15:51:42

I don't think 10 is unusually young for the park unsupervised. If it is normal where she lives and her son has been doing it a while it may not have occurred to her to check with you. I know my daughter's friends have all been doing that since around 8 but they live very close to the park and have no busy roads to cross. I don't let my daughter go because our nearest park is a 10 minute walk and involves crossing 2 very busy roads.

I wouldn't say anything to the mum personally. Not unless you think he was in any genuine danger.

feemcgee Mon 04-Nov-19 15:51:49

My DS is 10 and I wouldn't take him to the park, he'd be mortified. He goes himself with his mates, but has a phone so we can keep in touch. He has to stick to the rules about where he will be and when he will be home. However, my DSiL wouldn't let my DNs the same age go out themselves. It's just what you are used to.

Majorcollywobble Mon 04-Nov-19 15:54:03

Going out to eat and computer play was the agenda - all supervises . You didn’t sign up to unsupervised play ! Maybe she only sent her son because yours was with him . She’s a cheeky irresponsible woman . Good thing nothing happened . No return play date if you have any sense .

Velveteenfruitbowl Mon 04-Nov-19 15:54:15

I think it really depends on the area and quite how far the park is. I was routinely running around in bush land adjoining my best friends house for hours on end at that age. I would be fine with my children doing the same under the same circumstances. There were two of us (minimum) and it was a fairly tame and popular piece of scrub in a naice area. Short of a snake bite or a very well planned out abduction it’s unlikely that anything would have happened to us. But I definitely wouldn’t be ok with a child being allowed out unsupervised in a rough part of town even at a play ground.

AnnPerkins Mon 04-Nov-19 15:54:39

We let 10yo DS go to the park as long as we know who he's with. I would have checked with you first though. When I was in a similar situation recently I asked the mum and she said no. I was a bit surprised but he's her son not mine so fair enough.

nottodaysatanlucifer Mon 04-Nov-19 15:56:04

I wouldn't have been happy about this without being asked. Everyone parents differently. That wasn't the plans that she said were going to happen (which were all supervised).

ReturnofSaturn Mon 04-Nov-19 15:56:13

Jesus how times change.

bloodywhitecat Mon 04-Nov-19 15:58:01

I wouldn't have been bothered either and probably wouldn't think to check that a 10 year old was OK to go to the park with a friend.

Fireflower201 Mon 04-Nov-19 16:02:33

I was just thinking if it was the opposite way around and I let the boys go to the park unsupervised without notifying her first, & day for example something happened (worst case scenario of course) and she asked where I was and I said oh just at home having a coffee she would be fuming and quite rightly so!

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