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UK short break - DH health issues - any suggestions?

(17 Posts)
Chasingsquirrels Thu 14-Jul-16 14:00:56

DH has inoperable cancer and is currently having chemo which he is coping with really well.
We want to have a couple of short breaks (1-2-3 nights) on our own and maybe a couple of short weeks (3-4 nights) with my boys (10 & 13) over the next few months.
All timed to be towards the end of each chemo cycle so he'll be at his best.
There are a number of restrictions!
DH is generally easily fatigued, this improves as the cycle goes on but also is probably getting generally worse as the number of cycles progress. He recovers fairly quickly but isn't up to long walks, long museum visits etc.
We live near Cambridge and probably don't want to go more than a couple of hours for a short break or more than 3-4 hours with the boys.

I'm finding it really hard to think of what we could do - in the past we have been to Chester, York, Canterbury etc with the boys but we've done a lot of walking and I'm not sure what we could do with then that DH could cope with.

I'm our own we've been for a few short breaks, Lakes and Norfolk coast etc and again lots of walking etc.

We've been on beach holidays alone and with the boys, which we both enjoy - very lazy doing nothing. But DH has an IV line atm which he can't get wet and with the chemo should avoid hot weather - so that sort of thing is definitely out.

I'm feeling very down about everything atm and can't motivate myself and everything people suggest I think "but we can't do that because ..." but I'd really like to do something.

We had thought about Bruges for a few days for our honeymoon (got or married about 6 weeks ago, planned just before he was diagnosed) but with his health that didn't happen. We had thought about doing that, but really don't think he is up to the journey(in terms of length of time, distances in the stations etc) and there would be lots of walking there as well.

Sorry this is an essay! Any suggestions?

sacbina Thu 14-Jul-16 23:28:19

Oh love, my thoughts are with you and your family.

I didn't want your post to go unanswered but don't know how much use I'll be!

What does your DH want to do truly? Be at home or go away? I would put emphasis on the luxury and facilities of the home wherever you stay. On a bad day being able to look at a beautiful view would feel much better than the view of someone else's back garden. Access to wifi is essential for me and an ability to play my music on a half decent system soothes me. Does it have easy access to supermarket or other food. You don't want to be endlessly searching for somewhere to eat.

Is there an area of the country he has never visited but would like to? Our great island is full of wonderful places.

What do the boys enjoy doing? If the kids are happy....

I'm sure someone more useful will be along in a bit x

Jenijena Thu 14-Jul-16 23:37:49

Could you go somewhere with motobility scooter hire, or would DH (congratulations on getting married) struggle with that.

There's a hotel right in the centre of Winchester, next to the cathedral. Within 2 minutes walk you'd be in the cathedral, high st, and next to the river. Within five minutes at a ruinsd medieval palace. Plenty of taxis.

Quodlibet Thu 14-Jul-16 23:49:35

Would a boating weekend on the Norfolk Broads be out of the question? As long as you were up for driving the boat, he could have quite a relaxing time watching the world go by - you'd probably need the kids to muck in with things like mooring though.

PerspicaciaTick Thu 14-Jul-16 23:52:33

The Swan at Lavenham is a lovely hotel for a romantic break. Lavenham is very pretty, but tiny. So a good place to potter and relax. And not too far from Cambridge.

Gingernut81 Thu 14-Jul-16 23:53:29

What about a Centre Parcs? I've never been but lots of friends have and like them. You'd have lots of facilities near by, things for your children to do and nice surroundings for your DH.

I don't know how chemo affects appetite so I apologise if the next suggestion is unsuitable but what about a weekend at a Michelin star restaurant. We went here on a mini-moon (although it doesn't have s star any more) and had a very lazy weekend with lovely food and amazing surroundings

AverysillyoldHector Fri 15-Jul-16 00:05:09

flowers for all of you Chasing. Would Southwold or Aldeburgh be an option? Lots of lovely places to stay and if you could get somewhere with a view, even better.

You could almost reach the Peak District within your time frame (maybe 2.5 hours if you put your foot down!). Bakewell and Ashbourne would be good for a break, and you can visit lots of other nearby places by car. If you bring the children, there's the caves and cable cars at Matlock Bath. There's also a cafe at the top where your DH could take a break if he needed to whilst the rest of you did one of the cave trips.

Would you prefer hotels or SC for these trips?

AverysillyoldHector Fri 15-Jul-16 00:06:02

The Swan at Lavenham is a good call, its really quaint there isnt it.

Chasingsquirrels Fri 15-Jul-16 07:48:02

I'm not sure if he really wants to go away, he says he does. I'm not sure I do, but tbh I think I'm depressed so it's difficult.
He's been looking at somewhere on the Norfolk coast for a couple of days for us.
He used to go to Southwold with his exW quite a lot, we drove through once and I have to say I wondered what the attraction was. But then it was raining so maybe that coloured my view.

Boating with the boys for a few days sounds possible, I've always fancied that and DH can be as involved or not as he is able. I'll look into that.

Someone suggested centre parcs yesterday. The boys would probably enjoy it but I'm not sure what DH would do when there or getting about the site.

Just us - probably a hotel, although DH says not big hotels with aircon etc due to lowered immune system.
With boys - probably self catering, but we'd eat out not cater. Easier for space, breakfast etc.

I feel like I'm dismissing all suggestions, but I just think "but what would we do". I think it's more down to my state of mind and general lack of enthusiasm for anything though.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to post.

LadyPenelope68 Fri 15-Jul-16 07:55:23

I was also going to suggest Center Parcs. Your husband could rent a mobility scooter so would have easy access to all the facilities and could get arou family. You'd be in a lively lodge with all the home comforts and plenty of space if he's having a day when he's not feeling up yo much, with plenty wildlife and gorgeous views. You could eat in or at the restaurants depending on how he feels. Loads of activities for your boys at that age, with easy viewing access for you and your husband to enjoy watching them. Friends of ours went in a similar situation and said it was the perfect get away.

SmallBee Fri 15-Jul-16 11:24:53

For your holiday as a couple could you do a spa retreat? Lots of them are quiet small hotels but a lovely view, relaxing treatments etc.
I'm at a champneys one at the moment and they have loads of active and sedentary classes to keep you busy as well.

Centre parcs is great for kids, if you ask to book a central villa then it won't be too strenuous on your DH.

Chasingsquirrels Fri 15-Jul-16 16:24:46

I'll rethink Centre Parcs, is sounds like it could work. Hmm dates would be first or last week in August, would cost a fortune!
Mentioned boating to DH he didn't seem very keen, but then seemed to backtrack. I'll have to sound that one out more, I don't want him going along with it just for me!
Spa retreat doesn't appeal to either of us at all (should have said that). I can't imagine anything I'd like to pay for less than someone giving me a massage or whatever.

I think we are just going to go to the Suffolk coast for a night or two next weekend. We will just have to see how it goes and what he can do. We probably like the idea of the coast more than quaint villages/market towns for just the two of us.

Thanks for the ideas and suggestions.

Chasingsquirrels Fri 15-Jul-16 22:14:24

Centre parcs - £1,199 for the 4 days from Mon 8 Aug or £949 from 29 Aug. OMG.

I've paid £1,500 for flights to Spain for the 4 of us and 13 nights in a 2 bed self catering apt on a complex with pools and very near the beach for the last 2 weeks in Aug! (Now in the process of cancelling and hopefully reclaiming on insurance).

serin Tue 19-Jul-16 23:29:40

Sorry that you are all going through this OP.

My favourite hotel is the Blakeney Hotel Here.
It is in North Norfolk. the DC could spend hours crabbing on the harbour side and there is often a little funfair nearby and boat trips to see the seals.
If they need to burn off energy all the local kids slide down the mud banks when the tide is out, they get absolutely filthy and have the best time, it is a joy to behold (there are Utube clips!).

There is also an organisation that arranges trips for people, along the lines of Make-a-wish. It is called the Honeyrose foundation, they might have good advice.

cestlavielife Wed 20-Jul-16 17:15:30

center parcs works out circa £250 a night - for that you have a nice lodge, hotel standard, good surroundings, entrance every day for boys to good pool complex (which could cost you say £60 per day elsewhere ) and options to sit and look at woods lake or do gentle walking... get lodge on the flat near faciltiies ..

liletsthepink Thu 21-Jul-16 00:59:02

I have limited mobility and can recommend Eastbourne as a great place to stay if you can't get around easily. If you stay somewhere looking out onto the sea front it won't matter too much if your DH isn't well enough to go out.

mrsmortis Thu 21-Jul-16 09:59:24

I came on here to recommend the Blakeney but serin beat me to it.

We took my Grandma there a couple of times when she was very ill with cancer. If she didn't want to do anything she could just sit in the lounge and look out over the sea. And they were lovely with her, checking she was OK, bringing her drinks, etc. If you book one of the sea view rooms then in alot of them you can lie in bed with the same view. My parent's favourite room has a window seat from where you can look out.

On the CenterParcs front that would work too. It has the advantage of having medical staff onsite (nurse practitioners I think) and there is also a mobility service that will collect you from your villa and drive you to other places onsite.

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