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AIBU to be ruddy fuming my MIL has revealed my babies sex when we asked her not to and she KNOWS how private I am?

(15 Posts)
knackeredfarmingmummy Sun 15-May-16 20:46:26

Im fuming, but AIBU? hubby also fuming. My sodding MIL has revealed the sex of our third child even though we specifically said not to and only mine, and hubbys mums and dad knew. We only found out by accident in the first place and didn't want to know, but at the 20 week scan (I`m so private we hadn't told anyone about being pregnant yet, as with first two children) my hubby had a disaster on his hands so i called mum up as a surprise at the last minute and during the scan I shouted out "oh its a boy there's his willy" (yes I actually said Willy sorry) so we told my dad as well, and to be fair to them hubys mum and dad. But if mum hadnt been at the scan I wouldnt have told my parents, or anyone but my husband. Im really really cross as its not her news to tell, she knew she shouldnt have done it, and we havnt said to our own children anything about it let alone anyone else. I tackled her about it tonight and she just did this little smirky laugh and said "lets draw a line under it" I said no, it wasnt your news to tell, it was private family news and you knew that we dint want any one to know, and we havnt told the children, and its not fair on them.
Also ive not told any of my family or friends and I dont want it to get back to them, and cause a row that they herd second hand, im 7 moths pregnant, but feel im right . ARGH!!!!

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout Sun 15-May-16 20:52:31

YA Absolutely NBA!!

My MIL did this when I was pregnant with our twins a few years ago. Like you, I'm a private person and I wanted to keep this news as special to just us until they were born.

I got a Facebook message from a relative on DH's side, who I never see, congratulating me on the babies' sexes. I was aghast, then furious. I sent quite a snippy message back (which wasn't fair - it wasn't her fault). DH spoke to his mum about it, but it was done by then. A lot of people might think me unreasonable, but I felt she'd taken something from me in a way.

I'm sorry she did this to you and annoyed at her response. Does she think she can do anything she wants without your consent and 'draw a line under it'?

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout Sun 15-May-16 20:53:31

Typo - YANBU!

AliceInHinterland Sun 15-May-16 20:55:25

Was that some god awful attempt at an apology? I think 'let's draw a line under it' is the worst part of all!!

AliceInHinterland Sun 15-May-16 20:56:35

At least you know not to bother trying to be fair to her again. She absolutely does not deserve that kind of consideration from you.

knackeredfarmingmummy Sun 15-May-16 20:58:03

i do feel hes taken somthing away, I feel a bit like i wanted a really big row and tell her to F&ck off forever, its not as if shes even really into the kidsas months can go by without her seeing them even though she lives less than a mile away. I asked her three times to just please go away as i dint ant to fall out with her but she just kept yacking on, then the smirky look did it, I dont really want to be getting this upset when im this pregnant!

Pagwatch Sun 15-May-16 20:59:01

It's not ideal but does it really matter?

The babies sex was accidentally revealed. It wasn't a secret anymore - it was something half a dozen people knew and you were just leaving it as a sort of surprise for everyone else.
Ultimately now it's out, does it really matter?

I'd be blunt - "Yes, MIL, I will draw a line under it - but you should be aware that line says ^Don't tell MIL anything private because she will blab^"! Let her know that actions have consequences, and if she disrespects your privacy and your dh's privacy, she will be bottom of the list to get the next piece of news (ie. when you go into labour/when the baby's born). That might focus her attention a bit.

knackeredfarmingmummy Sun 15-May-16 20:59:42

Argh! cant even spell im so fuming! thanks guys for your comments, phew!

Chinks123 Sun 15-May-16 21:01:04

Yanbu I hate when people share private business especially on social media!
My DPs sister announced the birth of DD on before we'd had the chance to tell anybody! I'd not even passed the bloody placenta yet ffs! My father learnt he was a grandfather through seeing the status and it really ruined the announcement id been planning for 9 months!

At the time I didn't give a toss because I was so wrapped up in DD but a few days later I was fuming. 2 years later I'm still miffed grin

Chinks123 Sun 15-May-16 21:01:24

*on Facebook

knackeredfarmingmummy Sun 15-May-16 21:17:17

OMG Chinks i would be really raging at that!!!!

StillYummy Sun 15-May-16 21:38:04

One of my friends announced the birth of my first dc on face book. I thought dh was going to kill her. As it is I have just sat on it. I won't tell her anything next time.

Chinks123 Sun 15-May-16 22:00:57

It was very annoying OP so I know how you feel! hmm like I say I didn't care at the time but now it winds me up. It must be a common thing thought because I've seen those "We've waited 9 months for this please don't ruin the surprise. Don't share our baby news before we do!" posts. Bit sad you even have to say it really but I'm definitely doing it next time! smile

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 15-May-16 22:04:50

I agree with Pagwatch, seriously worth getting so cross about?

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