School think social services referral is positive

(244 Posts)
Anonymity1 Tue 13-Apr-21 00:35:32

My child (secondary age) had said something which was not serious but was taken literally, I believe, and reported as a safeguarding issue.

I was in a terrible state when school informed me. Senco said at the time "You can get it all off your shoulders and maybe DC can get the help needed quicker".
Teacher since suggested "Some great support" could come of it.

What on earth are they talking about?

What is this vague and invisible assistance coming from an agency best known for taking children away from their families? (or failing to)...

I'm scared and I don't understand why I'm expected to be happy.
tbusad

OP’s posts: |
MyDcAreMarvel Tue 13-Apr-21 00:37:35

What did they say?

BilboBercow Tue 13-Apr-21 00:38:00

OP social services want to support families to keep their kids with them.

I don't know what your child has said but it's obvious the school thinks you need support.

GreyhoundG1rl Tue 13-Apr-21 00:38:37

What on earth are they talking about?
That depends on both what he said and why he said it. Surely you know what it was?

UndertheCedartree Tue 13-Apr-21 00:47:04

Without knowing more I can't give much advice.

But Social services do help with support and getting kids the help they need. Their first step is not usually to take children from their families. It is all a bit hit or miss depending on the Social worker. But it certainly sounds from what school has said this is not about removing the DC from your care.

Moelwynbach Tue 13-Apr-21 00:50:25

People don't just have their children randomly removed from them on the first instance. I work do some work for a local authority and people refer to Social Workers to assess for and comission additional support for families who need it. I have worked with children with disabilities previously and referred to SW for support and short break care.

SofiaAmes Tue 13-Apr-21 00:53:10

My experience on multiple levels in multiple counties and countries of social services is that they do NOT provide useful support and do not know anything about, or the needs of, neuro diverse children (or parents) and end up doing more harm than good.

GreyhoundG1rl Tue 13-Apr-21 00:54:01

He may not be neuro diverse.

GreyhoundG1rl Tue 13-Apr-21 00:54:16

He's clearly said something alarming.

DumplingsAndStew Tue 13-Apr-21 00:54:53

We can't help you if you don't give us information

UndertheCedartree Tue 13-Apr-21 00:55:28

@SofiaAmes - IME - many social workers are not helpful. But I have had some that were.

Mollymalone123 Tue 13-Apr-21 00:58:18

Social services that I have dealt with before in line of work have all been about supporting children whose families may be struggling due to illness,bereavement,a child that would benefit from supervised interaction with other children of to give struggling parents a break.There are also social workers who can arrange for a child who has special needs to get involved with more activities outside of the home by assessing and providing support.They are not just ‘people who take children away’.

EmeraldShamrock Tue 13-Apr-21 00:58:23

It really depends on what he has said.
Have you ask him? It'll give you an idea of the support on offer.

Aliceandthemarchhare Tue 13-Apr-21 01:07:35

Social services aren’t really a support service, though. Yes, they do offer support of sorts, but they are so stretched they aren’t really there to provide support in anything but pretty extreme cases.

Anonymity1 Tue 13-Apr-21 01:08:30

Sorry, yes it was something alarming he said, but untrue. The school knows DC does things that aren't sensible whilst trying to impress people.
I spoke to SS on the phone a couple of weeks back, and haven't heard since, so they must be aware that it's not really a risk

OP’s posts: |
GreyhoundG1rl Tue 13-Apr-21 01:11:55

I'm trying to think of something that he might imagine would impress his teachers, that would ring alarm bells for both them and social services 🤔
How old is he? Year 7 or older?

Stompythedinosaur Tue 13-Apr-21 01:20:07

Look, no one is going to be delighted about an ss referral, but that doesn't mean ss are your enemy. If everything is fine, they will check and that will be the last you see of them. If you need support, they might offer some.

The teachers are trying to give it a positive slant because they are human and don't want to feel they've done something hurtful. No one does. It is their job to act on things like this, though, and it is good we live in a society which has a mechanism for checking dc are ok.

normalsaline Tue 13-Apr-21 01:24:23

Don’t be ridiculous, social services aren’t kiddy snatchers

Aliceandthemarchhare Tue 13-Apr-21 01:28:16

Well no, they aren’t “kiddy snatchers” normal but they do only tend to become involved where removal is a possibility. So it’s a bit naive to expect op to be blithe about their involvement.

Anonymity1 Tue 13-Apr-21 01:32:33

DC in year 8. More interested in impressing peers than teachers, but often ends up annoying / upsetting people instead. Has no friends.
"Difficult" is probably a good adjective, as opposed to siblings. School previously tried to refer to cahms, but cahms said no.
I have been in regular contact with school, as regular issues, and I am disappointed they decided to take things this direction.

OP’s posts: |
GreyhoundG1rl Tue 13-Apr-21 01:37:28

Ah sad. Maybe the ss referral will help get him seen by cahms?

Anonymity1 Tue 13-Apr-21 01:39:18

Stompythedinosaur

Look, no one is going to be delighted about an ss referral, but that doesn't mean ss are your enemy. If everything is fine, they will check and that will be the last you see of them. If you need support, they might offer some.

The teachers are trying to give it a positive slant because they are human and don't want to feel they've done something hurtful. No one does. It is their job to act on things like this, though, and it is good we live in a society which has a mechanism for checking dc are ok.

Thank you, this makes sense.

OP’s posts: |
PyongyangKipperbang Tue 13-Apr-21 01:41:22

I am currently going through the same.

I have been told, many times, that this "early intervention" is "absolutely voluntary". So I can say no. However I have also been told that if I dont agree then they will have to review the situation.

So basically, volunteer or get fucked over.

All I can say is, play the game. You wont like, I dont. You ARE being judged. And all because a 15 year old bullied his 9 sister and then called the police ON ME because I dragged him out of her room as he wouldnt leave her alone.

If there is one thing I can say that has come out of it, he has realised the utter shit show he has caused and is actually playing the game too because the SW hasnt agreed that he is right and I am wrong. He has been given a lot of "self work" that he doesnt want to do but knows he has to.

PyongyangKipperbang Tue 13-Apr-21 01:45:06

I am glad that these things are being followed up tbh, because if I genuinely had physically abused him (the removing him from his sisters room has been agreed as acceptable by SS) I would want him kept safe.

What is pissing me off is the so called "voluntary" status of this whole thing. Its "volunteer or we will do it anyway and it will count against you". Its not voluntary at all.

SofiaAmes Tue 13-Apr-21 03:20:55

GreyhoundG1rl OP said that she spoke to the SENCO which lead me to believe that he's NeuroDiverse in some way. Perhaps I'm wrong. But I still stand by the horrific experiences that I have had with social services as a guardian for children in care, but and in other capacities.

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