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I watched my husband..

(184 Posts)
24butfeeling80 Tue 23-Feb-21 23:10:41

On the baby monitor camera.. scrolling through another woman’s photos.

When I confronted him he showed me who it was straight away and it was ‘curiosity’ of a post from a woman posting on our local area page. When I asked why he specifically went though her photo’s after easing her post he said ‘because I don’t know who she is’ hmm

Which led to a discussion (not an argument) that I don’t know every time dick and Harry but I also don’t go roaming through other men’s photos.

He apologised and said he didn’t mean to upset me he was just curious. Which is fine he was open about it and didn’t hesitate to show me or try to deny (I do wonder if he had told me had I caught him sat pretending to shush our daughter to sleep though!)

But now I do feel like a little tiny bit of trust is gone. We’ve never really invaded each others privacy or gone through phones, we know the passwords to each others phones and if on occasion mines dead and I want to look something up ect he doesn’t hesitate to give me his phone so I don’t think he’s ever hiding anything. - but now I feel like I want to check his phone more. Am I over-reacting and just being insecure?

OP’s posts: |
extentioncord Tue 23-Feb-21 23:14:31

Am I over-reacting and just being insecure?

Yes. Massive over reaction.

I'm a nosey bastard and often nose though profiles in exactly the scenario you describe.

Acatnamedfox Tue 23-Feb-21 23:15:02

Truthfully I think you are over reacting/thinking.

I am constantly mindlessly stalking and clicking on people’s profiles because they’ve made a comment on a page. The other day I guy I used to work with got a new girlfriend next thing I know I’m on her Nans cousins dog walkers best friends page scrolling through and judging there 2015 holiday to the sharm el sheikh x

LaceyBetty Tue 23-Feb-21 23:17:44

I thought that's what Facebook was for? I hope my husband doesn't have this reaction if he catches me scrolling through some random's profile from the local group.

MorriseysGladioli Tue 23-Feb-21 23:18:59

I'm a pretty jealous person (or maybe healthily sceptical) but I do think you're overreacting.

I would probably check someone out, purely because I'm nosy; there wouldn't be a hidden agenda.

Branleuse Tue 23-Feb-21 23:21:21

Overreacting

GreenClock Tue 23-Feb-21 23:22:59

He’s a nosey git, that’s all. Don’t worry.

mindutopia Tue 23-Feb-21 23:23:12

I actually just Facebook stalked some woman from our local village group while putting my youngest to sleep the other day. blush I mean, if it was porn, that would be inappropriate. Or if he was leaving sexually explicit comments, nope. But I like nosing around people’s business myself frankly.

Honeybobbin Tue 23-Feb-21 23:24:20

Yeah based on this post I think you're overreacting. It sounds like he was honest with you. I spent about half an hour earlier going through photos of an old friend, simply because I am nosy. I'm always doing things like this!

wanderedlonelyasacloud Tue 23-Feb-21 23:24:40

extentioncord

*Am I over-reacting and just being insecure?*

Yes. Massive over reaction.

I'm a nosey bastard and often nose though profiles in exactly the scenario you describe.

Same

partyatthepalace Tue 23-Feb-21 23:25:21

It sounds normal to me. You appear to be over-reacting.

Fluffyandsilly Tue 23-Feb-21 23:26:12

I too am a nosy bastard.
Earlier today I had a good nose through an old friend’s cousins new girlfriend’s Instagram.
I’ve never even met this old friend’s cousin!
I think you are hugely overreacting.

MonochromeMinnie Tue 23-Feb-21 23:26:14

Pretty obvious he finds her attractive. Would he be scrolling through the photos of Brian from the hardware store? I think not.

AccidentallyOnPurpose Tue 23-Feb-21 23:29:22

* Am I over-reacting and just being insecure?*

Yes. Massively. The question is why?

Sakurami Tue 23-Feb-21 23:29:46

I'm so nosey and scroll through lots of people's pics. It could be their house, or pet or holiday or anything.

earthyfire Tue 23-Feb-21 23:36:27

Big over reaction, I go through people's photos - sometimes I don't recognise them from a profile picture so will look further. Or I look just to be nosey. My facebook is locked tightly for this reason grin - even my profile photo is set so it can't be opened to enlarge by anyone who isn't my friend that way snoopers can't read the comments under my profiles picture.

LindaEllen Tue 23-Feb-21 23:39:29

I stalk random people on Facebook all the time. It doesn't mean I want to have an affair with them, or even speak to them. I find it fascinating to see how people I know from the past have changed over the years, which does involve some scrolling.

MsHedgehog Tue 23-Feb-21 23:40:29

You are MASSIVELY overreacting. It sounds like the trust is not what you think it is from your side for you to react in that way.

NameChange215 Tue 23-Feb-21 23:43:26

'But now I do feel like a little tiny bit of trust is gone.'
I agree, but not for the same reasons as you. I couldn't get over my DP watching me on the baby monitor and thinking he had a right to question what pictures I look at on Facebook.

ZoeCM Tue 23-Feb-21 23:49:18

Total overreaction.

JesusAteMyHamster Tue 23-Feb-21 23:49:48

I'm terrible for this blush

I've also been known the check out the houses of people I'm posting things to on Rightmove.......no malice or weirdness there. I'm just a nosy bastard.

SoulofanAggron Tue 23-Feb-21 23:52:39

Why were you watching him?

Has he done something dodgy in the past?

ChristmasArmadillo Tue 23-Feb-21 23:52:49

I thought everyone did this. blush I certainly enjoy a good mindless nose through a random’s profile. OTOH, I’d be livid about being spied on via the baby monitor!

MysteriousMonkey Tue 23-Feb-21 23:53:33

I'm awful for this, do things exactly like what @Acatnamedfox described. I am so glad to know I'm not alone. I find the holes I fall into quite shameful grin

Guiltypleasures001 Tue 23-Feb-21 23:54:11

I have found my people

I am a prolific secret stalker of ex bf's friends work place colleagues
It's the reason I don't have Facebook, I can't be trusted not to become addicted

This place is the worst for me, links to or convos about anything and I end up
On male Escort sites, blackhead removal sites on you tube
I'm bloody murder me, my dh just rolls his eyes grin

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