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Debt - how fucked am I?

(233 Posts)
Coffeeandpie Wed 28-Oct-20 11:21:16

Will keep it brief.
Income 25k, partners income 19k.
Partner pays about 250pcm child maintenance
2 kids in nursery, nursery bill about 800pcm
Own 40% of our home via shared ownership, total rent and mortgage 850pcm.
Adding to that bills and credit card repayments, we are short every month.
We are in 8k of credit card debt. Half on an interest free balance transfer card and half on an interest free card that I use to make ends meet - end of month food shop/petrol, getting car through its MOT, stuff kids need when the money runs out.
I don't see a way out of this and I'm feeling really trapped.
DC1 goes to school next year so nursery bill will drop a bit (currently on 30h funding). DC2 won't get funded nursery hours until September 2023 so will be paying 600pcm between Sep 2021-23.
Mortgage is on a 5 year fixed term, we can remortgage in October 2024 and I'd hoped we would be able to staircase and buy more of our house (shared ownership) and remortgage to get a better rate, but with 8k debt and climbing I expect we will struggle.
We are cutting back where we can but I just feel so fucking stuck and miserable and constantly worried about money.
What can I do? Am I missing something huge here? How has it got this bad?

OP’s posts: |
VimFuego101 Wed 28-Oct-20 11:24:02

What's your actual take home pay? Can you post a list of all your outgoings? Are you both working full time?

ListeningQuietly Wed 28-Oct-20 11:24:36

Pop yourself onto this thread
LOTS of good ideas from people who started in the same place as you
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/3564254-a-support-thread-for-people-paying-off-debt-2

BarbaraofSeville Wed 28-Oct-20 12:03:57

That's a lot of expenses on your income. Can either of you get overtime or extra work in the evening or weekends?

The money saving expert money makeover will systematically take you through everything, but you might not have a lot of options other than to try and keep the debt on interest free and as low as possible until both DC are at school and you should have more to throw at the debt.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

raspberryk Wed 28-Oct-20 12:06:48

What are you getting from universal credit towards your childcare? Or are you using the tax free childcare account?

araiwa Wed 28-Oct-20 12:08:54

Well 19k isn't a lot when you have at least 3 kids. Child maintenance payments take them below minimum wage. Partner needs to increase income to catch up with their responsibilities

Krankie Wed 28-Oct-20 12:14:21

It’s more of a concern if you can’t afford to repay the debt, rather than just having it. “Good” debt which is well managed will help you get a lower mortgage rate, loan rate, car finance etc. Credit cards are often viewed negatively though, so it’s best to try and at least stay under 50% of your limit. You might want to take an unsecured loan to pay the card debt off, this will help your risk/credit score. All lenders are different though so might be worth talking to a financial or mortgage adviser when it comes to remortgaging.

Debt is a reality for many, if it helps I’ve always had it and I still managed to get a good mortgage and car loans etc all through adult life.

It only becomes an issue when it’s not being paid off/you miss minimum payments/its unaffordable for you.

TheGreatWave Wed 28-Oct-20 12:20:11

araiwa not helpful, nothing nice, say nothing at all.

Anyway OP, I presume you get CB on top, as a pp said are you paying for childcare in the most cost-effective way?

I guess you may have already done this, but check all your outgoings, are you on the cheapest tarrifs for example, are you paying over the odds for phone contracts, if you are out of them consider sim only deals.

Could either of you change your work pattern so you can drop a day childcare?

Good luck, there are also non profit debt organisations, step change, Christians against poverty, for example.

PotteringAlong Wed 28-Oct-20 12:26:25

Just be aware for the childcare that your bill might not drop - for me, 30 free hours + 2 days at nursery = the same as full time wrap around.

Are you using tax free childcare? Reduced all your outgoings? No pets?

12309845653ghydrvj Wed 28-Oct-20 12:34:35

It doesn’t sound like there’s much money going wasted, just that the incomes are low. Is there anything your DH can do to increase his earning potential, that’s enough enough currently to pay child maintenance and pay for 2 children. You can’t stretch what isn’t there. I’m assuming he works full time? Him looking after the kids when you’re working might be cheaper, if he could get shifts in the evening and weekend? 19k just won’t stretch

KeepHimJolene Wed 28-Oct-20 12:40:19

I wish people wouldn't have more children than they can afford to keep. Partner needs a second source of income

everybodysang Wed 28-Oct-20 12:42:02

KeepHimJolene

I wish people wouldn't have more children than they can afford to keep. Partner needs a second source of income

I wish people wouldn't come on here just to be absolute goady cunts, and yet it keeps happening.

LannieDuck Wed 28-Oct-20 12:45:10

On a monthly basis, what's your incomings and essential outgoings? And then what's your debt repayment on top?

I'm not clear whether your essentials alone take you over your incomings. Or is the debt repayments that tip you over? Can you pause the repayments? Money Saving Expert is good at debt solutions.

Next question is - what hours do you both work? Could one of you get a Saturday job? Is there any overtime available for either of you? Any other opportunities with better pay for either of you?

TheGreatWave Wed 28-Oct-20 12:46:17

everybody sang Exactly.

Their circumstances might have changed, things happen and individuals don't want an abortion, job loss and this was the only job available etc

TrustTheGeneGenie Wed 28-Oct-20 12:46:37

araiwa

Well 19k isn't a lot when you have at least 3 kids. Child maintenance payments take them below minimum wage. Partner needs to increase income to catch up with their responsibilities

Ah yes because it is that simple. Brilliant advice.

Op is your partner paying what the CMS tell him to or more?

Do you use tax free childcare for your nursery payments?

Thehop Wed 28-Oct-20 12:50:28

Can you claim any universal credits? Have you been on entitled to?

halloweenagain Wed 28-Oct-20 12:52:26

* Op is your partner paying what the CMS tell him to or more?*

Are you suggesting that dropping payments for the first set kids DP had is a solution? Nice.

There are several good debt charities, sitting down with one of them and going through your options would be a good start.
Maybe Stepchange?

TrustTheGeneGenie Wed 28-Oct-20 12:54:13

halloweenagain

* Op is your partner paying what the CMS tell him to or more?*

Are you suggesting that dropping payments for the first set kids DP had is a solution? Nice.

There are several good debt charities, sitting down with one of them and going through your options would be a good start.
Maybe Stepchange?

Yes I am if it means his other children are destitute. He needs to support all of them not just the first ones you know!

RandomMess Wed 28-Oct-20 12:58:43

Can you look at changing either/both of your working patterns - compressed hours or working weekends to reduce your childcare bill?

How frugal are you being really?

If you have high commuting costs or run to cars it may be cost effective for one of you to change jobs.

Mindymomo Wed 28-Oct-20 13:00:04

I would speak to credit card company and ask for a credit plan, so you don’t end up with paying unnecessary interest each month. Or you could call citizens advice, they can help and tell you whether you are entitled to any benefits. Check your direct debits for any that can be cancelled.

KurriKawari Wed 28-Oct-20 13:02:38

Is there anyway you could downsize? £850pm is a substantial outgoing esp for 40%.

dementedma Wed 28-Oct-20 13:04:33

At one point dh and I had 18K of debt and were drowning. We contacted PayPlan and sent up a debt management scheme. Wish we had done it earlier. It took a good few years to clear but we did it.
Please get help to manage the debt to stop it growing. There are various agencies who can help you

Sophagain Wed 28-Oct-20 13:06:37

If you have young children you are probably reasonably young... what do you do for a living? I would have thought career progression would be your best route out of this. Don’t be hard on yourself, a lot of people are in a similar position.

KitKat1985 Wed 28-Oct-20 13:10:05

It looks like it's your nursery bill that is probably really hindering you. Would a childminder be cheaper?

Chewbecca Wed 28-Oct-20 13:12:22

Firstly set out a very comprehensive budget so you know exactly what you have coming in and going out and account for every last penny. Then you can identify any areas of potential saving.
Secondly seek to increase your incomes, either through additional hours or starting to look for better paid employment.

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