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Playgroup fall out. WWYD?

(17 Posts)
MoralBeryl Mon 11-Jun-18 13:03:32

Silly incident this morning at our usual small and friendly playgroup...

I left the room for 30 seconds to catch my runaway youngest. Upon returning I found a mum I didn’t know forcefully wrestling a soft toy from my eldest (3) and angrily telling her she had to give it to her daughter.

I didn’t see what happened, but my DD had been carrying this toy around for ages. I imagine she put it down momentarily to look at something else and then got upset when the other girl picked it up.

I gave the toy to the other girl, moved my screaming DD away and distracted her. I then asked the mum to talk to me next time there was an issue, so I could help sort it out, rather than her disciplining my child herself.

The Mum then shouted at me that I’d said nothing to my DD. I explained that all I had seen of the incident was her (the mum) snatching the toy from my DD.

I discreetly asked some other mums if they’d seen anything (I know them all) but they had been in and out of the room tidying up.

Should I have told my DD off? Should I have apologised to the other mum? I’m not under any illusion that DD is an angel and if I’d seen her snatch I would have dealt with it, but I really don’t know what happened. She’d also been really good this morning, so there wasn’t a pattern of behaviour or anything like that.

This playgroup keeps me sane on a Monday and I’d hate for it to be spoiled by some petty toddler squabble.

TheMaddHugger Tue 12-Jun-18 05:18:18

"forcefully wrestling a soft toy from my eldest (3) and angrily telling her she had to give it to her daughter."

That alone sounds weird. I wouldn't like that at all.

redexpat Tue 12-Jun-18 05:20:38

I think you handled it beautifully.

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish Tue 12-Jun-18 07:40:57

Goodness me, the lesson learned from this story is keep yourself and your daughter far away from this woman and her daughter...

She shouldn't have done that to your daughter...she sounds like the type "my child is precious and to heck with everyone elses child"

If you leave the room it might be an idea to have one of the other mother's keep an eye on her until you get back so they can intervene if they see this woman wrestle toys from her again

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 12-Jun-18 07:47:17

I think you’ve handled it perfectly OP. Don’t let one woman put you off your group smile

EssentialHummus Tue 12-Jun-18 07:51:15

You handled it well imo. Has that woman attended before with her child? How is she usually?

BertrandRussell Tue 12-Jun-18 07:56:32

You don't know the details and under the circumstances you handle it well. I wouldn't give it another thought. The other mother might be bonkers. Or she might have been at the end of her thether for some reason and now be beating herseld up about it. Who knows. Reconsider if anything like it happens again. But put it behind you now.

MoralBeryl Wed 13-Jun-18 09:22:54

Thanks all, your responses have been very reassuring.

Measures are being put in place to prevent escaping babies, so hopefully I won’t find myself in that position again.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints Wed 13-Jun-18 09:25:00

You handled it how I would have. There's not a great deal you can do if you don't see what happens.

Bekabeech Wed 13-Jun-18 09:39:01

Telling a child off at that age is silly. If you'd seen your DD snatch it from another child - then yes do go and remove it and tell your DD to "share nicely", and distract.

The other mother was technically "batshit", and I would avoid.

Donotbequotingmeinbold Wed 13-Jun-18 09:48:22

It doesn't matter how your child took the toy from her child. She may not even have taken it from her but had it all along.
I've been in playgroup with my DC many times when a child has taken the toy they are playing with. I concentrate on distracting my child and making them feel better. I do not go throwing my weight around or trying to wrestle other people's preschoolers.
What happened before she tackled your DD isn't relevant. You don't have a physical struggle with other people's DCs unless you are stopping them running onto a busy road.

MoralBeryl Wed 13-Jun-18 12:33:02

Thanks. Yes, I agree that it’s never okay to get into a physical altercation with someone else’s child. I hope I conveyed that to her.

The red mist set in for me when she told me not to worry about it, as if it was me at fault. When I said seeing her forcefully wrestling with my child was upsetting, she said she had been upset too. I don’t really understand the logic behind being upset by a three year old, so I just left it at that.

Clairenewbie Thu 14-Jun-18 01:57:14

I wouldn’t have been so calm

Shadow666 Thu 14-Jun-18 03:22:49

There are some crazy mums out there. Just avoid her and keep a close eye on the kids.

CantankerousCamel Thu 14-Jun-18 07:27:40

Watch and wait for all the other parents to find out she’s nuts

BertrandRussell Thu 14-Jun-18 07:57:45

Or possibly cut her a bit of slack and consider that she might be at the end of her tether-we all do stupid things under stress and where would we be if everybody shunned us for it?

orphanblack Fri 15-Jun-18 21:24:08

My father was diagnosed with cancer lung cancer stage 4- 6 to 8 weeks ago. He is too weak for full chemo and they have offered him a one drug chemo on palliative care. He is suffering and struggling every week. Today I went to get him a father's day card and it was so difficult knowing that this will be my last......i feel anxious all the time. I'm having a baby in 3 weeks and I'm not going to be able to help for 6 weeks. I know he needs me but I physically will not be there. He is unsure about doing any treatment. Has anyone been in this predicament of low dose Chemo? Does it even make a difference or is it just being offered to us for a minimal benefit?

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