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Guilt over 6 month old

(15 Posts)
Plantsinrain Tue 13-Feb-18 10:57:35

Its hard to write this, I feel dreadful. I was a young monther with no support. When my child was 6months old she would not settle when held or rocked and this was unusual, she use to stop crying when held so she must of been unwell that day. I was sleep deprived so I put her downstairs in her rocking seat and left her to cry until she fell asleep sad
I had no idea about the popular baby medicine people give to their dc when unwell. I only heard of the danger of certain medicine so I was worried about giving her any thing. I feel so guilty for just leaving her to cry alone and probably in pain.

Thinking back now she was probably teething and in pain due to her teeth. I wish I could turn back time and give her the baby medicine and big cuddles and sleep with her so she felt safe and comforted.
I figured this out by the time she was one. She has only ever been sick twice so it never happend on a regular basis but I'm so worried I've damaged my child. I think about this and feel so sad. I've tried to make it up to her ever since and shocked that I actually did this. She is happy and cheerful but could it show in later life ? Could I of caused any damage in anyway?

Marcine Tue 13-Feb-18 11:00:24

Leaving a baby to cry to sleep once will not have done any damage!
Mine has had to cry sometimes if we are in the car and can't stop, or if I am bathing another child.

Plantsinrain Tue 13-Feb-18 11:06:15

Thank you. When you out it like that it doesn't sound to bad. I think it is because I did it intentional and went to bedsad

Plantsinrain Tue 13-Feb-18 11:06:47


AmberTopaz Tue 13-Feb-18 11:08:31

Don’t worry OP! This won’t have done her any harm at all. Most of us have done similar at some point.

SallyLockhartsDog Tue 13-Feb-18 11:11:12

Please don't feel guilty. It will not have caused any long term damage.

Parenting without support is unbelievably difficult, you do the best you can. You made sure she was safe (in her rocking seat) and that is the most important thing.

Plantsinrain Tue 13-Feb-18 20:38:00

Thankyou for all your kind responses. I thought I would get flames. I was prepared for you all to tell me how awful I am as a mum.

Plantsinrain Tue 13-Feb-18 20:38:28

Flamed not flames

MincemeatTart Tue 13-Feb-18 20:44:24

Good gracious, I made a conscious decision to leave five of mine to cry themselves to sleep several days running. They benefitted hugely from it despite sleep training not being popular on MN .
Lose your guilt. The baby will have come to no harm. It probably wasn’t in pain.

Plantsinrain Tue 13-Feb-18 20:45:24

Can I ask how old they where mince

Plantsinrain Tue 13-Feb-18 20:46:20

I'm sure she was in pain as she would usually stop crying when held if not.

timeisnotaline Tue 13-Feb-18 20:47:11

If you are still feeling guilty about this happening just a few times you sound like a very loving mother. Don’t worry, you won’t have harmed their development at all.’

afreshnewname Tue 13-Feb-18 20:49:42

You made a decision to walk away instead of staying and losing your cool, a crying baby is enough to tip people over the edge. Crying to sleep once won't cause any permanent damage don't worry

Plantsinrain Tue 13-Feb-18 20:50:02

Thank you timeisnotaline I do feel at "peace" with it now. I'm happy I've put in on here to get it out as I would be to embarrassed to tell anyone in RL. I have really felt awful about it. Feeling a lot better now.

MincemeatTart Tue 13-Feb-18 21:10:28

Mine were 9 months or thereabouts when I set a few days aside to teach them to settle themselves. There have certainly been times when they were younger when pacifying them wasn’t instant - if I was driving, if I had others in the bath etc. They’ve all grown into happy, well adjusted adults.
Walking away is definitely better than screaming or shaking them. Don’t feel guilty you’ve done no wrong.

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