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'Handsy' colleague

(23 Posts)
LondonBookworm Sat 10-Feb-18 21:12:19

I work in a shop. On of my male colleagues, whose name I don't know. Has taken to being 'handsy' when he sees me on the shop floor. He works on the admin side so is not around all the time. He has grabbed me around the waist and various other things. On my last shift he came up and hugged me and I had to pull away from him. This makes me really uncomfortable and I don't feel able to tell him where to go because of customers being around.

I don't know what to do. I don't know whether to report it to my manager or if I do whether my manager will just say "Why didn't you ask him to leave me alone?" I hide when I see him coming but that isn't always possible. What's really bizarre is I haven't even had a conversation with him, due to him working in the office and me on the shop floor. On a final note he's a big guy, at least 6ft 4, if not taller.

Please advise me what I should do. It's making me want to leave my job and, other than this, I really like it.

PurplePirate Sat 10-Feb-18 21:13:56

Tell him to fuck off if he touches you again?

PenguinsandPandas Sat 10-Feb-18 21:14:19

I would mention it to your manager, that's not on.

SmilingButClueless Sat 10-Feb-18 21:15:05

Talk to your manager. If nothing else, your manager should be able to reassure you that it’s fine to tell your colleague to leave you alone even if there are customers around (which it absolutely is).

ChasedByBees Sat 10-Feb-18 21:18:46

Absolutely talk to your manager.

Lucymek Sat 10-Feb-18 21:21:20

Write stuff down you can remember and email to your manager if not write a note and give it to her.

Optimist1 Sat 10-Feb-18 21:22:10

Don't tell me you find it less awkward to be hugged while customers are around than to say firmly "Please don't touch me". If that doesn't work you go straight to your manager and report him. Simple.

AdoraBell Sat 10-Feb-18 23:39:54

Tell him you are not comfortable with his behaviour and to stop.

DancingLedge Sat 10-Feb-18 23:44:06

Being harassed/assaulted/made to feel uncomfortable is NEVER your fault.
Call him out on his actions, if you possibly can.
Speak to your manager, definitely.

He's the one at fault here, and if he's embarrassed- well, good!

Gide Sun 11-Feb-18 12:34:34

Yank away from him, tell him very firmly never to touch you again. Who cares if there are customers aro7nd? You’re not the one making a twat of yourself, he is.

specialsubject Sun 11-Feb-18 13:35:23

Loud statement 'take your hands off me'. Customers will support you!

Notevilstepmother Sun 11-Feb-18 14:51:17

Talk to you’re manager, or ring your hr department if there is one.

Notevilstepmother Sun 11-Feb-18 14:52:05

Your. Stupid autocorrect.

Terfinater Mon 12-Feb-18 13:47:57

This is horrible and completely unacceptable. These creepy men often get off on making women uncomfortable and its telling that he's deliberately doing it in front of customers. I think there's 3 ways to deal with this.

You could approach him in the office or privately and tell him to stop with the touching.

Tell him to stop at the time. The customers will support you.

Speak to your manager.

I think it's highly likely other members of staff have also complained. Are your colleagues aware of it? I hate to say it but he will likely escalate this behaviour if he's not stopped. You need to get mad. Who does this creep think he is?

Thistlebelle Mon 12-Feb-18 13:50:32

Step back with one hand up and say “no hugs”.

Remove his hand from your waist/shoulder/hip or whatever and say “hands off”

Say no every time and tell your manager that he needs to stop.

expatinscotland Mon 12-Feb-18 13:55:11

Speak to your manager. If asked why you don't tell him yourself, tell your manager he intimidates you.

Kingsclerelass Tue 13-Feb-18 00:13:29

Tell him once, that you aren't comfortable with his behaviour and it must stop. That's fair warning. If he does it again, make a complaint to your manager. Calmly & professionaly.

octoberfarm Tue 13-Feb-18 00:16:35

Absolutely talk to your manager - you shouldn't, and don't, have to put up with this at work. If it helps, you could even say to the manager that you don't know to approach telling the guy to back the hell off with customers around, as you're trying to be professional. What a twat, hope you're okay.

InionEile Tue 13-Feb-18 00:22:52

Tell him straight up: 'Could you stop that please? I'm working.'

No need to be rude or aggressive. Just state it in a matter-of-fact way.

Also report him to your manager and take notes of every time he has been inappropriate and any future events so you have a record if you have to go through a formal process of getting this creep fired.

SleightOfMind Tue 13-Feb-18 00:24:34

Tell your manager what you’ve told us. That he’s grabbing you around the waist in front of customers so you can’t tell him off without making a scene.

Detail every incident you can (what happened/time/date/who else saw).

Realise this is difficult on the shop floor but document it as soon as you can.

That should put an end to this bastard’s fun but, if your manager is completely shit and doesn’t stamp this out, you’ll need solid facts behind you.

InionEile Tue 13-Feb-18 00:26:29

Correct to say: there is every need and you have every right to be rude and aggressive to him and I would certainly have no hesitation about telling him to get to fuck - but if you are worried about customers then that might not be an option...

PositivelyPERF Tue 13-Feb-18 00:28:03

I would say out loud, in front of the customers "stop touching me!" The customers will be on your side, OP. He's banking on you being too embarrassed to say nothing in front of them.

Butterymuffin Tue 13-Feb-18 06:57:28

Next time he touches you, shout out the way you would do if something really startled you, and then loudly say 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET OFF ME!'

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