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Wedding rings, would this make you suspicious

(588 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

tiredpom Thu 08-Feb-18 12:06:02

DH is away with work again, he often is ... often he is difficult to get hold off. Doesn't answer this phone late at night early in the morning. He rarely tells me where he is staying - his travel is international for days or a week at a time. Tonight I was cleaning and found his wedding ring squirrelled away in a really odd place ....... should I be worried ? Ps I texted him saying I found your wedding ring - no response ....

fuzzywuzzy Thu 08-Feb-18 12:08:21

Where does he go that he cant contact you?

I'd be very surprised if DP went a day without contacting me, we usually talk in the evenings if he is away so it would be odd for him and us as a couple.

Do you have other reasons to believe he may be cheating?

PsychoPumpkin Thu 08-Feb-18 12:08:56

Does he usually wear his ring?

ShowMeTheElf Thu 08-Feb-18 12:09:26

It would make me suspicious, yes. It will be interesting to find out how he reacts to your message.
If you fear the worst then do a little digging through finances etc to get yourself protected, just in case.

Blackteadrinker77 Thu 08-Feb-18 12:10:54

I work away from home often, nights and mornings are the only time I can take personal calls. I have never removed my wedding ring.

This would make me start digging.

UpstartCrow Thu 08-Feb-18 12:10:59

Sorry but yes, none of that is normal. As other people have said, cover yourself before you do anything.

tiredpom Thu 08-Feb-18 12:11:25

He always wears it, but if often hard to reach due to 'time difference'

sycamore54321 Thu 08-Feb-18 12:11:32

Hmm. Is he somewhere with a really high crime rate and has he left his good watch or any other jewellery as well? Does he normally take his ring off for sleeping and maybe he forgot to put it back on? Otherwise it does seem a little odd and I'm not normally one for seeing cheating in every situation posted on the relationship board. I think your direct text to hm was the best way to approach it. See what he says and how you feel about the response.

WhooooAmI24601 Thu 08-Feb-18 12:11:39

There aren't that many places in the world you can go for work where you're entirely uncontactable for extended periods. A few hours or even 24 hours, yes, but given it's for his work there must be some level of infrastructure there. DH works away regularly in all kinds of odd places and still manages to FaceTime each night before the DCs go to bed, or at the very least, call.

It's odd, definitely.

SandLand Thu 08-Feb-18 12:12:35

DH has had to stop wearing his ring since we moved somewhere hot and he gained a couple of kg
Doesn't answer phone late/early by whose clock - we struggle with calls fitting in around kids and time differences.
I dont always know the hotel, but do know the flights, so which city.

It could be part and parcel of traveling with work, it could be something more. Only you can find out more.

Cobwebdust Thu 08-Feb-18 12:12:54

It's odd that he rarely tells you where he's staying and is difficult to contact.

DamnCommandments Thu 08-Feb-18 12:13:56

It's the combination, isn't it? My DH is also away and out of contact AND he's left his ring. BUT he's doing something physical, and he's also left his watch, and they're not hidden away. And I do know where he is.

Trinity66 Thu 08-Feb-18 12:14:08

The ring on it's own wouldn't ring as much alarm bells as him not telling you where he's staying and about how uncontactable he is, certainly the ring coupled with these things makes it seem suspicious

stickytoffeevodka Thu 08-Feb-18 12:14:48

I think it's very odd that you don't know where he's travelling to and that he doesn't get in touch while he's working away.

The wedding ring would be the least of my worries tbh!

tiredpom Thu 08-Feb-18 12:15:25

He sometimes takes it off washing or in bed. This was found in our kitchen in a random dish on a high shelf .... not a accidental put down

NerrSnerr Thu 08-Feb-18 12:15:55

M husband works away a lot in random places. We hear from him at least once a day. I rarely know where exactly he’s staying though, last night I know vaguely what city he was in but I have no idea what hotel he was in. He’d tell me if I asked though.

LagunaBubbles Thu 08-Feb-18 12:17:02

I would be concerned he doesnt tell you where he is staying - there must be a reason for this.

Wellfuckmeinbothears Thu 08-Feb-18 12:18:28

Yes, I would be very suspicious. Can you do some digging, home computer he uses or a laptop or ipad?

Will be interesting to see how he responds to your message.

Sorry this has happened to you, its not a nice thing to find x

tiredpom Thu 08-Feb-18 12:18:32

He travels constantly with work .... at least 6 months out of 12. I loose track often of where he is, but he NEVER offers to tell me where he is .... or leaves flight/hotel details

AdoraBell Thu 08-Feb-18 12:18:42

Highly suspicious IMO. My DH gives me so much info when he travels I almost tell him to keep to himself. Literally every detail. Flight numbers, hotel - website and phone number- and where he will have meetings, and names of other meeting attendees. And he never leaves the house without his wedding ring. That’s his choice as I am not overly bothered about it.

Raindancer411 Thu 08-Feb-18 12:19:12

I wouldn't have texted him, I would have moved it somewhere and see if he said anything when he got back. Then if he didn't you could have asked where it was when you noticed he wasn't wearing it one day. Put him on the spot...

sportyfool Thu 08-Feb-18 12:19:20

That is weird , dh works away a lot and we don't talk every day but do message ( he is often on a different time zone ) but if his isn't normal for him then yes id be worried .

Abracadabraapileofbollocks Thu 08-Feb-18 12:19:21

My husband works away a hell of a lot. He can be hard to contact because of his job's funny hours, so we both randomly call at any time.
He does take his ring off to clean up his hands so has once had it returned from a very remote location. His reaction and comments about having to take his ring off are how I know. It's not some big secret. Also his colleagues made a big joke out of the ring thing. They don't about the one who did have a girlfriend in every town.
My husband also will ask me to join him / leave enough information I can surprise him with cards or gifts wherever he is!
What I guess I am saying is I know what to expect, feel commucicated with. I think the lack of that you're describing would be a problem for me. The not mentioned ring, in that context, would be jarring.

tiredpom Thu 08-Feb-18 12:20:14

Everything he has is encrypted and away with him - so no digging can be done

amusedbush Thu 08-Feb-18 12:20:59

That sounds very odd and I would definitely be suspicious.

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