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ss question please.

(15 Posts)
LilQueenie Thu 01-Feb-18 12:40:08

I'm still enraged so bear with me if this is somewhat muddled.

Note through to call ss regarding DD . no mention of why and no reason to suspect we have been reported.

Call in a panic everything going through my mind. Turns out her fathers brother was arrested last month and referral was made at that time. We knew everything but the referral.

explained DD doesn't even know this person exists and has no contact whatsoever. They were happy and closed the case.

Then told they already went to her school!!! wtf. Went over to school and everyone is in meetings so unavailable till tomorrow.

My question is would they have spoken to DD as we knew nothing about the referral till afterwards? Why involve DD at all?

I was going to call SS again to query but I'm hesitant. at least till I speak to school if they are allowed to tell me anything.

Jessbow Thu 01-Feb-18 13:00:36

They probably haven't involved DD at all- they were told on a 'need to know' basis, that all, presumably it was a pretty serious 'whatever it was'.

Schools do need to be aware of certain things.

Chaosofcalm Thu 01-Feb-18 13:05:48

It is very common for ss to contact schools, often they are just asking if the school has any concerns.

SS normally speak to the nominated contact so in a secondary school that would be the child’s head of year and all information is shared in School on a need to know basis.

Teachers are not going to be judging you. They are in contact with SS so regularly and they don’t have the time to judge families.

LilQueenie Thu 01-Feb-18 13:17:36

DD is only 6 still in primary.

That is the question Jessbow. as far as we know earlier in 2017 there was an arrest for disturbance of peace with the neighbours. (nowhere near us btw so no involvement) out on bail which I believe was broken when in december he was arrested again for much the same. apparantly on cctv. allegatons were given that dps brother attacked the neighbours though dp says it didnt even though he wasn't present.

A few days later which is when we found out about the incident DPs mum then came to my house to find him and was brought a social worker along. I didnt give access either as have nothing to do with them for reasons like this. SW remained out in car as only giving is mum a ride up in kindness. DP let his mum in hmm To be honest I have no idea of the true story but still dont understand what any of it has to do with DD. She wasn't even in thank god.

LilQueenie Thu 01-Feb-18 13:19:23

sorry for the way I have written the above. I noticed the bad grammar after posting. So angry right now at his brother. This is why I have nothing to do with him.

Parisetoile Thu 01-Feb-18 13:35:12

IME SS will have alerted a senior teacher in the school to the situation. It would be highly unlikely they would talk to your DD without your consent. Sometimes it is important to pass information on to safeguard children. As chaos said they won't be judging you. Sorry to hear you are in such a panic. Maybe it's worth ringing the school now to ask if you can see The Head/Head of year for a few minutes, so you can exchange information calmly and privately and put your mind at rest. (don't tell the secretary or whoever answers the phone the details, just say you have a matter you need to discuss urgently, to keep it confidential).

Parisetoile Thu 01-Feb-18 13:37:12

In that case if she is 6 I'd ask for a quick word with the Head.

LilQueenie Thu 01-Feb-18 14:17:54

thanks everyone. I have an appt with the deputy head tomorrow. Hopefully they can fill me in a little more.

Parisetoile Thu 01-Feb-18 15:30:23

I hope you are feeling a bit better, good luck tomorrow.

LilQueenie Thu 01-Feb-18 15:52:36

Thank you. I'll try come back here to update assuming I get answers.

LilQueenie Thu 08-Feb-18 18:22:05

I got some answers though still a bit hazy. Dps mum has a sw due to failing health and to be fair Dps bro isnt exactly helping with the envirnoment he brings to his parents house. DD has been mentioned in some capacity god knows why as they never see her. When the incident took place ss were notified incase bail was to MY address!!! Why I have no idea as we have no contact at all. I wonder what has been mentioned in order for a link to be made really as it makes no sense.

However today we have found that the brother has again been manipulating the parents. Dp and DD are now written out of the will and he started asking dp for money for a bloody stupid hover board of all things. He expects everything for nothing. Im praying karma works soon and I see his downfall first hand. DP has seen his true colours and is upset.

NWQM Thu 08-Feb-18 18:32:22

Do you understand what the referral was and by whom? If they are only saying that the referral was made at the time of the arrest this seems very odd. I can sort of understand that if there were any concerns that they could contact the school but from what you've told us it really isn't clear what the initial concerns were or if you know. Obviously you don't have to share them here OP but if you don't know I'd be asking in writing if necessary.

LilQueenie Thu 08-Feb-18 18:44:27

it was I believe by SS. the sw Dps mum has. he racially attacked neighbours and not for the first time either. Dp suspects the SS himself is trying to get any info to get his mum into a care home. I really dont know. Its a total mess. It was suspected that bail might have been given to my own home which is what I don't understand and the reason for the referral as it was thought DD and I might be in danger. At the time the incident was thought to be violent but wasn't. He IS violent however and the police must know that. He ever sets foot near my home and the police are called. I've said that since I was pregnant with DD years ago. All I do know is the case is closed with DD.

LilQueenie Thu 08-Feb-18 19:46:31

Dp got back. It appears the brother is also controlling the parents and believes in his head he owns the house, money, the lot. I think the ss may have an idea this is going on. He doesn't actually own any of it until his parents pass but DP has been cut out cause of the manipulation. Thing is he has no dependants, no partner (and never will have due to his temper and issues) absolutely noone else to turn to. He can't take care of himself either. He needs meds for mental issues and has been known to stop taking them.

Notevilstepmother Sat 10-Feb-18 18:12:04

I think it’s one of those situations where your dd wasn’t in danger, but at least they cared enough to check.

In your shoes I’d be ringing the adult SW who looks after your MIL or partners mum, and tell them everything you know about the brother so that they can best protect his mum.

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