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Grip required! New man issues...

(11 Posts)
kirbytime Sat 13-Jan-18 14:10:22

Argh. Feel like I'm old enough to know better, but been seeing a guy for a few months and feeling insecure about his feelings for me. He's not exactly beating down the door, we see each other once a week even on weekends we're both child free. This makes me feel a bit hmm but he thinks we should be taking it slow and not get carried away.

Am I daft to expect him to be really into me at this stage? Feel like I'm being kept at arm's length.

derangedmermaid Sat 13-Jan-18 14:12:58

If there's kids involved maybe he sees this as more long term than a quick fuck and go?

kirbytime Sat 13-Jan-18 14:46:28

That's what I'm hoping mermaid grin

Yes, I suppose "all-consuming" at this stage would be a red flag also. I think he's a good guy, with a bit more restraint than me!

derangedmermaid Sat 13-Jan-18 14:54:03

There you go, no grip needed. smile

JustMarriedAndLovingIt Sun 14-Jan-18 08:21:17

Maybe he’s already got a girlfriend.

speakout Sun 14-Jan-18 08:31:46

He is possibly dating other women.

kirbytime Sun 14-Jan-18 17:29:36

He definitely doesn't have a girlfriend and there are no other women. We still chat/talk on the nights we're not together and I do trust him in that respect.
We'll see how it goes for now - thanks!

MyBrilliantDisguise Sun 14-Jan-18 17:31:15

Well, I wouldn't be available for chats on the phone on those nights when you could be meeting in person. I think your instinct is right - if he was mad on you, he'd want to see you more often. He sounds lazy, really, just happy to chat on the phone instead of getting off his arse and leaving the house to meet you.

kirbytime Sun 14-Jan-18 17:52:52

Hmm. Yes, that's my worry. Good point, I hadn't thought about it like that. That's what I've started to do actually, just go out elsewhere on those nights. At first I had anticipated us spending them together so I was a bit confused when no plans transpired, then I decided I wasn't going to hang around.

kirbytime Sun 14-Jan-18 18:00:04

Just had a thought though - would spending two weekend nights be overkill in the early months?

derangedmermaid Sun 14-Jan-18 22:23:10

No, not for me, but then every relationship is different. In the early days you couldn't have crowbarred my dp from my side, but with my kids dad we only saw each other every weekend and it was always socialising with his friends. One weekend a month just me and him would have been a godsend.

Talk to him. Communication is key

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