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Would this be bitchy?

(30 Posts)
TurtleBrains Wed 06-Dec-17 19:33:36

I'm arranging ds christening. Originally I was going to ask friend A and friend B to be godparents. However friend A is getting married in 2019 and asked friend B to be bridesmaid and not me. I'm not petty but now I'm thinking why should friend A get to be godparent when she didn't ask me to be bridesmaid? I don't want to be petty but I just want friend B now should I just ask her?

PopadomPointer Wed 06-Dec-17 19:34:30

How old are you OP?

Worldsworstcook Wed 06-Dec-17 19:38:02

Maybe she can't afford 2 bridesmaid dresses. I'd be more annoyed if she had asked someone else to be a 2nd bridesmaid. You could ask in a jokey way why you weren't asked. Will my hair clash with the dress? Is that why I didn't get asked? You'll get your answer I imagine if you ask.

LemonysSnicket Wed 06-Dec-17 19:39:49

What a childish post. I’d only be annoyed f I wasn’t invited at all. Godparents are about cherishing your friends and bringing them into your baby’s life ... not about one-for-one and revenge.

TurtleBrains Wed 06-Dec-17 19:40:58

She's got 8 bridesmaids after telling me we're best mates for years. I'm childish but it stings

haba Wed 06-Dec-17 19:47:43

Doesn't sound like a very Christian attitude, does it?

TurtleBrains Wed 06-Dec-17 19:50:43

No its not but it's how I feel

Boys123 Wed 06-Dec-17 19:54:02

8 bridesmaids shock There will be no room for the bride and groom on the alter if they pair each bridesmaid with a groomsman grin

specialsubject Wed 06-Dec-17 19:58:02

Do these people actually want to stand up and promise to guide your kid in god? Are they believers?

TurtleBrains Wed 06-Dec-17 20:00:16

Yes they are believers

llangennith Wed 06-Dec-17 20:18:10

I’d be pissed off too and likely to go tit for tat and not ask her to be godmother. Your choice.

TurtleBrains Wed 06-Dec-17 20:20:59

I dont see why i should ask her tbh

ElephantsandTigers Wed 06-Dec-17 20:22:38

Then don't.

haba Wed 06-Dec-17 21:03:49

Are you Christian?

LemonysSnicket Wed 06-Dec-17 21:11:48

Well, that was a drip feed wasn't it. 8 bridesmaids! Do they have a lot of sisters?

TurtleBrains Wed 06-Dec-17 21:12:58

No she doesn't have sisters they mainly her fiancees friends wives and his sister

hullahoops Wed 06-Dec-17 21:14:24

This would piss me off too. Especially after her telling you you were best friends.... So she just has 8 other better friends? I wouldn't ask her tbh. It might be petty but I am in agreement with you

AfunaMbatata Wed 06-Dec-17 21:14:30

You don’t sound Christian. Just have a booze up and be done with it.

Tinselistacky Wed 06-Dec-17 21:15:13

I wouldn't ask her simply because your friendship obviously isn't as strong as you previously thought. Trusting her to do right by your dc is too big an ask imo.
And I am petty too so would be a no for that reason also!!

LiveLifeWithPassion Wed 06-Dec-17 21:16:27

I wouldn’t ask her. Not because of tit for tat but because if she doesn’t consider you that close, how is she going to be towards your children?
Will she be a good god parent?

Hassled Wed 06-Dec-17 21:18:28

Get the people who you think would love and care about your DS the most. If that's Friend A, then ask her regardless of the bridesmaid shenanigans. This is about her relationship with your son, not with you. Is she likely to make a crap job of being a godparent - will she lose interest in a couple of years? Or will she always be around for him? That's your criteria.

MiddleClassProblem Wed 06-Dec-17 21:18:46

Sounds like she wasn’t allowed many of her own actual bridesmaids.

Either way, I would have thought choosing a godparent is about more that “best friends” rather who you think is a good role model etc.

If she is and would/does adore your child then what’s the problem? You thought of her without this bridesmaid stuff so what’s change other than you think she’s slightly closer to B than you?

Mars100 Wed 06-Dec-17 21:21:28

If you haven't asked her yet, don't. It's important to make good choices for godparents. People you can trust, who you think will be in your life for a long time - and definitely someone who doesn't leave you felling a bit hmm about the relationship. I would be hurt by the bridesmaid thing too OP.

TurtleBrains Wed 06-Dec-17 22:40:28

Yep I am hurt I won't lie and shes obviously not as much as a close mate than I thought

toriatoriatoria Thu 07-Dec-17 23:09:13

I wouldn't ask her, not specifically as tit-for-tat as such, but I think it shows you are not as close friend in her mind as she is in yours.

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