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Changing my first name at 45

(89 Posts)
yoohooitsme Fri 01-Dec-17 10:59:48

I am now estranged from my birth family after several very difficult years.
I have had cancer this year and after treatment a positive prignosis.
I am starting a new career in a new sector after being home with children for several years.

I feel like a new person. I have a new outlook.

When I hear my name I sound like the old down trodden me. sad

If you know me would you be able to use my new name (not decided on one) and not think I had completely lost the plot? I don’t think I have lost the plot but it is an unusual step I know.

May50 Fri 01-Dec-17 11:06:51

Go for it. You're starting a new career. They'll all know you straightaway with your new name. I think it's a great idea.

Kathysclown Fri 01-Dec-17 11:06:55

I have a friend who has changed her name (informally, not by deed poll) and I do find it difficult to get used to, at least in part because it is a hippy/alternative/just plain weird name that I find it difficult to say with a straight face (I know that is very unfair though). I do try, though, as it is her choice and I respect that. I know that other long term friends also have struggled to adjust.

However, a family member changed their name, and that was much easier to get used to, somehow.

I think that you will probably find a few people who find it difficult to adapt, but most people will try their hardest. It's unusual, yes, but entirely your right and decision. In your situation, I'd say to go for it, and be the person that you want to be.

butterfly56 Fri 01-Dec-17 11:13:48

I changed my name by deed poll following an extremely abusive marriage.
It's not expensive to do and you can do it online. Just make sure you order enough authorised copies to send to people who need to know like Insurance, Mortgage, Council Tax, Utilities, Passport, Driving Licence etc.

Tuileries Fri 01-Dec-17 21:20:11

Do it, especially if you're just starting a new career. I did it at a turning point in my life so it wasn't difficult and I have no regrets. Old friends don't think I'm mad (well, they haven't said so) and actually say I really suit my new name. If anybody has a problem with it then I don't think they're worth knowing as a 'friend'.

Flupi Fri 01-Dec-17 21:27:51

Sounds like a perfect time to do it -go for it

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard Fri 01-Dec-17 21:53:51

Congratulations on your recovery and your new career. I'd say embrace the new future and do whatever you feel. Go for it! flowers

Can we help work through any name choices?

yoohooitsme Sat 02-Dec-17 14:02:33

Ooh thank you. You all have me thinking of names now!

Yes what is a good name where would I even start.

Those who have done this how quickly did you get used to the change yourself?

Janek Sat 02-Dec-17 14:09:35

Are you changing your first name, your surname or both? Would it be better to have an unusual name for your career or to be more anonymous? Ideally something people can spell easily/doesn't have lots of variations? A name where you can use the full version to be professional at work and a shortened version for friends and family? These are the things I would consider!

Caulk Sat 02-Dec-17 14:10:02

I got used to the change immediately. Some friends took a while and some got it quickly.

I chose two names I liked, asked friends for options and suggestions and got them to call me by the names for an evening, then settled on one.

BastardGoDarkly Sat 02-Dec-17 14:13:04

Great idea.

I don't know, what sort of names do you like?

museumum Sat 02-Dec-17 14:17:36

I assume your name doesn’t have accepted diminutives? I know a Tina who became Chris (both from Christina).
Sandra could become Alex from Alexandra.

grumpysquash3 Sat 02-Dec-17 18:59:08

Can we choose one for you?
What is your surname (or similar surname)?
What don't you like about your old name?

dantdmistedious Sat 02-Dec-17 22:56:32

I would totally be able to use a new name. Good luck!

ClaudiaNaughton Sat 02-Dec-17 23:10:19

I know somebody who became Kate at 70. Her husband ignores it, but it’s been very successful otherwise.

EmmaHealy23 Sat 02-Dec-17 23:10:33

So what's best for you, I know a man who did the exact same thing and at first everyone was like oh that's strange then after about a month it was like oh, hi John, and just like that the gossip moved on!

Nothing weird about it, if you are feeling like a new You then don't let anyone else bring you down.

I for one think more people should just do what makes them happy. You aren't harming anyone, if it makes you happy then it's all good x

EmmaHealy23 Sat 02-Dec-17 23:12:23

DO what's best for you I meant!!

BestIsWest Sat 02-Dec-17 23:13:14

Go for it.

elQuintoConyo Sat 02-Dec-17 23:20:32

Oooh, how about Winterpark for a surname? I just love it. Not sure if it is real.... <google>

If i knew you and you changed your name, i guess i'd more than likely know the reasons why and be very happy for you. Actually, if you were Mary from Purchasing and you're now Orlanda from Purchasing, i'd still not bat an eyelid.

Sounds like you have got life by the short and curlies wine

ColonelJackONeil Sat 02-Dec-17 23:23:01

A young family member changed their name and I got used to it quite quickly once I started using the new name. Just remind people if they forget and it won't take long.

yousignup Sat 02-Dec-17 23:32:28

I changed my first name as a 40th birthday present to myself. Go ahead!

yoohooitsme Sat 02-Dec-17 23:33:35

I'd like something strong and independent sounding, going into professional role in the UK.

Kicking the ideas off with Fearne because I like it and Allegra because it means joyous and can be shortened to Alli.

calzone Sat 02-Dec-17 23:37:28

Ooh yes

I would totally be able to use your new name......

I’ve always thought Kat was a cool name.

I have a friend called Tracy and she loathes her name. She had to give her name at Starbucks for coffee and she pretended to be called Scarlett.....apparently it empowered her and she felt amazing!

Names are important and as much as I enjoy a name thread, I do think there will be future generations not wanting to be called Cyril and Cynthia but their parents thought they were being edgy by doing so.

Go for it OP but give us some clues on your old name and your new name.

calzone Sat 02-Dec-17 23:38:29

Alexa is quite strong too.


Tuileries Sat 02-Dec-17 23:39:08

It took me about two weeks before I could comfortably refer to myself by my new name around people I already knew. Now (a few months on) it feels natural.

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