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I'm struggling with day to day life

(11 Posts)
Mammabear31 Wed 08-Nov-17 17:03:16

And I don't know why. I feel like I never have time for myself and I work 2 jobs but I have at least half a day a week at home to do what I want to. I only have 1 child who is at school and my husband is very good around the house - he does his fair share.

However. We are struggling to conceive a second child. We have been trying for nearly 2 years, unfortunately had a miscarriage at 7 weeks back in May but no other luck. DH was diagnosed with a chronic illness in June and has been, at times, very poorly.

Other than the above, I have no worries. We aren't well off but we survive. DS is thriving in primary school and I love my work. So why do I feel like I'm struggling all the time? I have times when I just cry because I feel so frustrated and I don't know why. I think I may be depressed, but that feels so selfish to write as I have nothing to be depressed about. Why can't I just cope with every day life? It all just feels too much and I'm sorry for this self indulgent, stupid post.

bilbodog Wed 08-Nov-17 17:08:21

Depression is an illness - you dont just have to have bad things in life going on to suffer from it and sad things can trigger it such as a miscarriage and your DH being unwell. Speak to your GP - may be some counselling could help? Hope you can find a way to feel better.

mamamalt Wed 08-Nov-17 17:12:44

I feel the same. I’ve just been diagnosed with severe anxiety and am taking the next steps for treatment and counselling.
I have one son who is one and I do do all of the cooking and cleaning and laundry etc as well as being home with him full time with little help from family and friends. BUT I feel like loads of people do it! Often with more than one child and often in worse circumstances. Part of what makes me feel so bad is wondering why I can’t cope?! What’s wrong with me!
I’m afraid I don’t have any real advice apart from talking helps so don’t bottle up or feel self indulgent. It’s easy to say. This is one of the first times I’ve ever been honest. It’s easy on an anonymous forum..! flowersthlsmile

Mammabear31 Wed 08-Nov-17 19:53:57

I'm talking to my GP on Friday so may bring it up. Just totally overwhelmed with everything and even though I have breaks; it doesn't feel as if i do. Maybe I should relax more, but that's hard when you have a demanding 4 year old and an unwell husband. I hate that im writing this; but i know I need to.

Mammabear31 Wed 08-Nov-17 19:55:26

Part of what makes me feel so bad is wondering why I can’t cope?! What’s wrong with me!

Yes, that's exactly it. I don't know why I'm not coping; I just know I'm not and it makes me feel even worse.

tiddleywinks27 Wed 08-Nov-17 20:40:35

Recovering from a miscarriage and TTC can be pretty rough. Your hubby’s health doesn’t sound great and working 2 jobs is tough. Yes things could be worse but you do still seem to have a lot on your plate at the moment so it’s not surprising you’re not really feeling yourself or a bit downflowers
It might be worth talking to your doctor and seeing if you can be referred for some counseling or other form of therapy. That or reach out to friend or family for a good chat if that’s a possibility? You definitely don’t seem like the “poor me” type so I’d say you have the right attitude!

I’m not saying I’ve gone through same as you and don’t like hijacking a post to start talking about myself but I was initially ok after my miscarriage last November. Felt strong and positive and though I had picked myself up and recovered well for a few months but then definitely went through a horrible phase of feeling really down and tearful a lot. I was very eager to get pregnant again but it wasn’t happening as quickly as I’d wanted (luckily we did get
Pregnant and are now 28 weeks) but at the same time had alot of good stuff going on in my life (new home, newly married, job going good) so I felt like I shouldn’t be down or had enough reason to be as down as I was.

I had a few sessions with a counselor and it really helped. I’d highly recommend it to anyone who wasn’t feeling themselves for whatever reason x

Mammabear31 Thu 09-Nov-17 09:21:34

Thank you.

I've had a bit of a meltdown this morning. I took DS to school but forgot to take his book bag and drink. I then dropped my phone and the screen smashed in the playground - I had to pretty much run out of there or I was going to cry. I got home and it all just came flooding out - I sat on the bedroom floor just crying and wailing for about 10 minutes. I could still cry now but I'm holding it back. Pathetic, isn't it!

Adarajames Thu 09-Nov-17 20:00:05

Nothing pathetic about it, we all need some extra support at times, so do ask for it - whether that's antidepressants / counselling, be gentle on yourself, treat yourself as kindly as you would a friend who'd just told you that was how she was feeling, we're always kinder to others than ourselves I find, so don't feel that you 'shouldn't feel like this / others have it worse', it's how you feel and so valid, you need to now find ways to improve things so you don't feel like that any more. flowers

Mammabear31 Fri 10-Nov-17 11:48:53

DH has just got back from the GP. He has a mass in his colon and has been referred for a colonoscopy under the 2 week wait.

Mammabear31 Fri 10-Nov-17 11:49:10

I'm sorry for posting this here, I don't know what else to do right now

mamamalt Fri 10-Nov-17 16:16:07

Oh no! Sorry to hear this mammabear. Hoping it’s not the worst news for you x

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