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I'm so bloody tired of being sick and tired!

(6 Posts)
newestbridearound Tue 07-Nov-17 19:02:48

I feel at my wits end this evening. I've been ill with ME, POTS, fibro and a few other things for years now and currently bedridden again. Nothing seems to work or help and I just feel like I'm drowning to be honest sad I'm too sick at the moment to even shuffle to the loo so have a fetching commode in my room and I've managed one meal today. Too exhausted to lift and chew. It's not a life, just an existence and I am utterly worn down by it. I want to run, dance, travel, swim, go out, use the degrees I've never utilised, have a job again, see family and friends, even make a cup of tea. Have a hug where I can lift my arms! My marriage is on the verge of collapsing as despite the insane love I have for my husband this is not a life and we can't spend time together as I'm in a room alone 99% of the time. He is starting to want better. Honestly I feel like there's no point in carrying on (I will, been here before, just needed to vent). It is crap and I hate that all I have to look forward to tomorrow is another day of feeling like this. I'm totally fed up with it all and how my life is in pieces yet again.
Vent over sad

highinthesky Tue 07-Nov-17 19:06:40

This sounds like a very tough situation.

Is there anything that will lift your spirits, even momentarily? A song that will bring back memories of good times? A book that you can retreat to? Am AIBU to laugh at? Do something to raise your mood (not drink or drugs) and you’ll start to see a glimpse of light.

newestbridearound Wed 08-Nov-17 10:17:11

I can pop online occasionally like now which breaks up the utter boredom. I'm too exhausted and dizzy to read or watch telly unfortunately. My day is largely laying in the dark to minimise the room spinning and having to be alone as talking/touch is too much. I try and stay positive but it is very hard and now that my husband may be about to leave me I feel like hoping is utterly pointless. I don't want to exist like this anymore <sigh>

Schroedingerscatagain Wed 08-Nov-17 10:23:16

Hi Newest

I have so much sympathy for you, wish I could be there to hold your hand

I have been you M.E fibro brittle asthma bed bound for 10 years, 3 in a wheelchair I know the sense of hopelessness

Have you talked to your DH and explained how low you are at the moment?

I don’t know if you’re receiving active treatment or just being ignored by the system but it sounds like you need support and perhaps anti depressants to help your feelings at the moment

Mostly I want to give you hope, I was as bad as it gets, written off and basically told there Was nothing more they could do with 2 young children

After 10 years by luck I was referred to a specialist private physio who specialises in these conditions

I was put on an exclusion diet and made a remarkable recovery, it transpired I was a hidden coeliac and had developed multiple deficiencies, pernicious anaemia etc

I now walk unaided and lead a reasonably normal life and have done for 6 years

I guess I just want to give you hope, recovery can and does happen even after many years, take care

newestbridearound Wed 08-Nov-17 10:39:44

I am so happy to hear that you have recovered and are out living a virtually normal life. I don't know how you got through 10 years flowers

I am already on a very high dose of anti depressants and have tried beta blockers and counselling for anxiety. In the past, before becoming bedridden again, I had also had hypnotherapy, CBT, mindfulness classes and various other things. Ultimately I just feel lonely and scared and I don't see what else can change that. My DH has known my feelings since this happened but hasn't been very supportive. He tries, but he's basically given up on me now sad

misshannah Wed 08-Nov-17 10:52:18

Hello,

I have M.E./ CFS, i have not been bedridden although it does impact my daily life to the point that i often require a nap in the middle of the day. For me that is ok, as i can escape to my car or i am lucky and have my own office. I have drastically changed my diet in the last 8 weeks to cut out all naughty sugar and alcohol. I don't feel 100% my old self but i do feel pretty good. I have also cut down on dairy and don't eat wheat/gluten. Have you tried dietary changes? I know this doesn't work for everybody but it might be worth seeing a dietetics/ nutritional?

It's such a horrible and disabling illness, so i do feel for you. I am lucky and still able to work, but there are times i really struggle to keep my head up/ hold a conversation/ remember things. Good Luck x

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