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Exh left, now to late for children and exh has baby on way with new partner

(8 Posts)
Doodlepoppop Tue 07-Nov-17 16:47:43

A friend of mine is in a terrible state she put off having children as her exh didn't want them (she did). He then decided he wanted them but it was unfortunately too late for her to have them.
She is now childless while he is starting a family with new gf.
She is now angry that she didn't go ahead and have children when she had the chance.
She says she is now childless forever and how silly she was not to go ahead and have children when she had the chance, it is eating her up.
Although they may of split up anyway at least she would have children now she feels she is left with nothing and longs for children.

MyKingdomForBrie Tue 07-Nov-17 16:51:29

That is very difficult for her. I don’t know what can help in that situation to be honest, except being there to listen to her talk.

annandale Tue 07-Nov-17 16:51:32

Oh God that's awful. This was my great fear in my first marriage.

Does she work with children, would she consider fostering or adoption? I don't know anything about these things but something positive could come from the love she has to give.

RavingRoo Tue 07-Nov-17 16:56:08

How old is she? Most IVF clinics go up to 50 if the woman uses donor eggs.

Poshindevon Tue 07-Nov-17 17:10:27

If this woman had children she would probably be complaining now that she had been left with the child/children while EH goes off with pregnant girl
friend.
If this woman wants children there is IVF or adoption.

AnaWinter Tue 07-Nov-17 17:19:46

Unfortunately this is a common story and very sad. There is no point in her focussing on her ex and his gf. If they start a family it will have no bearing on her life.

What age is she? There are options out there.

speakout Tue 07-Nov-17 17:27:37

Nearly happened to me.

My OH kept postponing the idea for 10 years, although initially agreeing to have kids. When I was 37 years old and childless he told me he didn't want any kids.

Heartbroken I left him- the hardest thing I have done.

Luckily I met a wonderful new man within a short time and we had two amazing kids.

A couple of years later I found out that my ex had met and married another woman, and had just become a father.
Nice.

numberseven Tue 07-Nov-17 17:36:04

Very very common. My friend's husband said "not yet - let's wait 2 years" for over a decade. Then he left her at 40 and married a twentysomething and had a child right away. My friend is childless and alone.

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