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Is it my ego or love?

(40 Posts)
Sandwavesmoon Thu 02-Nov-17 22:48:01

I split with my ex two years ago. I'm very attracted to him and i think I want him back. He split up with me but I know he is still attracted to me also and I'm pretty sure he will be open to a reconciliation.
I just can't figure out if I really love him or I'm just attracted to him and want him just for abit of fun and attractive male attention. I have plenty of date offers but no one I'm attracted to as much as him.
However I'm not sure I want him as a "life" partner or just a bit of fun.
Deep down I think I just want to get back eith him then be the one to finish things with him. Get it out my system then put it to bed so to speak.
I just can't shake it off. I'm pinning after him but want to be the one that finishes things. Does that make sense?

Vitalogy Thu 02-Nov-17 22:57:46

It doesn't sound like love.

Sandwavesmoon Thu 02-Nov-17 23:01:14

I don't think it is but I can't shake it off.

BenLui Thu 02-Nov-17 23:03:06

I’m afraid it sounds like ego and not necessarily a very kind impulse.

Sandwavesmoon Thu 02-Nov-17 23:06:01

But the thing is I do genuinely want him back. This is duce a confusing feeling.

Sandwavesmoon Thu 02-Nov-17 23:06:14


pinkliquorice Thu 02-Nov-17 23:10:54

How do you know he is still attracted to you and is open to a reconciliation?
Why did he break up with you then?

MyKingdomForBrie Thu 02-Nov-17 23:11:23

You want to get him back in order to dump him?

That is what is known in common parlance as being a bit of a bitch.

I’m sure you’re not one so resist the impulse!

Sandwavesmoon Thu 02-Nov-17 23:12:50

He was putting in a lot ore effort into the relationship than I was.
It's only now I realise that and he is aware that I now realise.

Sandwavesmoon Thu 02-Nov-17 23:17:07

He hurt me really bad he ended things in a really bad way. But I do still love him/want to have a relationship with him again.
Then when it fizzles out I want to be the one that drops him.
I don't know if I want to make he feel how he maser feel.

Sandwavesmoon Thu 02-Nov-17 23:17:54

Made* me feel

BenLui Thu 02-Nov-17 23:19:45

What we want isn’t always what’s good for us sand

nanight Fri 03-Nov-17 00:31:16

That’s fucked up

Sandwavesmoon Fri 03-Nov-17 00:33:41

@nanight what is?

SleepingStandingUp Fri 03-Nov-17 00:36:45

Wanting to get back with him to dump him so he can be hurt back isn't healthy. Its been two years. Other get bqbck together because you love each other and understand the mistakes you made or move on and possibly get some counselling

Sandwavesmoon Fri 03-Nov-17 00:41:07

I don't want to get back with him just to dump him. I want to get back with him to be with him. But yes I would be wary and if things didn't go well then I would like to be the one to finish things this time.
But as I explained I am still attracted to him and want to get back with him.

Sandwavesmoon Fri 03-Nov-17 00:42:08

And miss alot of other stuff about him obviously

Vitalogy Fri 03-Nov-17 05:32:58

It doesn't make sense though, that you are visualising how you would want to act if the relationship ended, it's not a healthy way to start a loving relationship. It really doesn't sound like a good idea to be with him again. Work things through yourself before starting any new relationship.

Dancinggoat Fri 03-Nov-17 05:45:23

Could you be over thinking it , playing out different scenarios in your head and now you’ve confused how you feel.
Meet him , see how you feel over time. You don’t need to go straight into full blown relationship with him straight away

Sandwavesmoon Fri 03-Nov-17 08:42:15

@Dancinggoat I think your right. That makes sense. I don't want to jump into a relationship with him actually.
I think we should just date/be friends first.
I think there is alot of trust to build back up.
I think maybe I am very wary of him now after the way he ended things and don't want to give him that chance again.

Hellohellorain Fri 03-Nov-17 10:31:25

He broke your heart now you want to break his. Sounds like you want to get even

Hellohellorain Fri 03-Nov-17 10:44:50

nanight well that's not very nice either is ithmm

Doodlepoppop Fri 03-Nov-17 10:48:56

I think op is getting a hard time here.
MyKingdomForBrie I don't think calling someone a bitch is going to help the situation it actually makes you sound like one to be honest.

Sunrosepink Fri 03-Nov-17 11:09:22

If you can't get over him then yes form a relationship with him again it may finish "unfinished buissnes".

MyKingdomForBrie Fri 03-Nov-17 16:39:06

I didn’t call her a bitch. I said if she did that it would be being one - pretty self evident point. I said I am sure she is not one - don’t use my post incorrectly to try and make a point.

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