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Would a decent man date a woman with children?

(19 Posts)
Sallygroves Fri 06-Oct-17 11:06:43

Just as above really. I was told a man looks at a woman with kids differently than a woman without dcs.
Is there a cut off point of how many children a man may be put of by?
So just that really.
Are decent men intrested in a woman with children from a previous relationship?

squaresandsquares Fri 06-Oct-17 11:08:37

Yes they are. They definitely are.

sizeofalentil Fri 06-Oct-17 11:16:07

No idea what silly person told you that, but I have three decent, gorgeous male friends who all met and married women who already had dcs from previous relationships. These men love their partners' kids and treat them as their own. The men are in their 20s and 30s, so not one particular age group.

SOME men might not want to date women with DCs - I wouldn't have wanted to date a man with DCs - and that's totally fine. It might narrow the dating pool down a little bit, but only as much as if you were a smoker, or dyed your hair bright blue, or joined the Tory party (joke). Eg. only a tiny bit.

Sallygroves Fri 06-Oct-17 11:39:53

Thank you for the replies.
Size that is a good way of putting it. Thank you smile

WatchingFromTheWings Fri 06-Oct-17 11:43:44

I married a decent man who took on my 2 kids! grin

M4Dad Fri 06-Oct-17 11:43:50

Definitely. I have a DS (4) and to be honest I'd prefer any prospective GF to have have some kids.

TheFifthKey Fri 06-Oct-17 11:45:44

I have two small children, I've been separated 18 months and I've dated (in varying degrees of seriousness) 3 men since then. None of them met the DC but they all knew about them from the start and I've always been very clear they come first. None of them were put off and have often found it attractive that I'm capable and have my own life. Only one of them had DC of his own, and I'd regard them all as decent men (no acrimonious break ups, just incompatibilities in lifestyle etc meant things fizzled out with the first two, but as people, they were definitely good, reliable, attractive, solvent men!)

Might it put some men off? Sure, but that's ok. There will be plenty who aren't, and it's a part of life. The man I'm dating now has no DC but has plenty of friends who have them or who are single parents so he's familiar with the way of life and the fact my priorities are different.

existentialmoment Fri 06-Oct-17 11:49:06

There are decent men who would date a woman with kids, and there are decent men who wouldn't. and there are awful men in both categories as well.

It doesn't define anything about a person. It isn't a bad thing to not be interested, it just means they aren't for you.

Somerville Fri 06-Oct-17 11:50:14

I would consider a decent human being to be someone who doesn't lead prospective new partners on by dating them when the circumstances aren't right. So sure, some decent men won't feel they could ever be a good step-parent, or whatever, and then won't enter into those relationships. But equally, plenty of other men will like the idea of dating a woman with children, for loads of different reasons.

Whoever made that sweeping judgement about it is trying to put you off dating, for some reason.

RavenLG Fri 06-Oct-17 11:59:46

The word decent here is what bothers me I think.

There are men who would take on another man's children, there are men who wouldn't. It doesn't mean the 1st is any better than the 2nd, or the 2nd is some awful person for not doing so.

Achoopichu Fri 06-Oct-17 12:07:20

I think it's easier if they don't have kids themselves. I am with a guy and we both have teenage kids. Neither of us wants to take on the other's kids! I think we're both "decent" but recognise that moulded families can be difficult, and we both still put our own kids first. For that reason we might not last the course but que sera smile

Sallygroves Fri 06-Oct-17 14:54:06

When I say a decent man I mean as in someone who will take the relationship serious and want to be with you so to speak.

SurfingKitten Fri 06-Oct-17 14:59:19

Think of all the people you know or have heard of who talk about their wonderful stepfathers. All of those men, and there are many of them, knowingly got together with a woman who had children and have had a serious relationship with them.

Just as smoking might be a deal breaker for some people, children (having or not having) might be for somebody else. Some people mind prefer a partner who already has children because they also have children and either want the level of mutual understanding that comes with children being involved in a relationship or else they may be certain they don't want anymore children and feel someone who already has had children will be more likely to feel the same.

JemimaLovesHamble Fri 06-Oct-17 15:08:16

There are men who would take on another man's children, there are men who wouldn't. It doesn't mean the 1st is any better than the 2nd, or the 2nd is some awful person for not doing so.

I hope you popped in on the thread posted yesterday where a woman was getting vilified for walking away from a partner with three kids and then worrying if he was ok!

Santawontbelong Fri 06-Oct-17 15:12:34

My dh says he felt privileged to have been able to become part of our family. . He certainly didn't 'take on my dc' .
He is the most decent man I have ever known. . We have a toddler now and are married. Been together 5 years. .
I had ten dc when we met. He had none.

Ilovesliz Mon 09-Oct-17 16:53:04

This isn't your RL name is it?

tiddleywinks27 Mon 09-Oct-17 23:46:51

A real man wouldn’t look at a woman with children any different

There are plenty of A holes out there who would I’m sure

5had03 Thu 12-Oct-17 18:09:38

Is this a serious question? confused

AIBU to think this is really sexist and unfair? (I am a women!)

trinis Thu 12-Oct-17 18:15:03

I'm actually single with no kids yet and I've found men over a certain age with kids do actually prefer to date women with kids. They're more compatible.

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