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things we cant say in real life but need to get off our chest...

(37 Posts)
HeadSpace1 Thu 18-May-17 06:09:27

ok i need to get some things off my chest that i cant say to in real life so here goes...

SIL 1- yes i did mean all those things i said, yes it is what everyones thinking and has been for years but havnt had the guts to say and yes i was the one that called CPS becaue i was afriad my nephews were going to be seriously hurt if i didnt do something and id never forgive myself if i didnt

SIL 2 it was NONE of your bussiness! all you were worried about was your reputation and you shoiuld NOT have got involved, you forced us into contact when we didnt want anything to do with them and you speifcally went against our wishes in regards to our children seeing her!! and yes it did do perminant damage to mine and DH's relationship

MIL You insisted our children needed to do expensive swimming lessons and promised you would pay half for them, that lasted all of ONE TERM we paid for the rest of the 2 years they did 100 each child each term for 3 children crippled us but because YOU insisted and made such a big deal of it we kept it up for the childrens sake

and no i WONT continue to pander to SIL 1 and put up with their condensending crap just because BIL is your favourite child and you act like the sun shines out his ass and cant do anything wrong... he is on drugs and so is she and as far as im concerened they both need help and are ruining their childrens lives but as long as they dont admit it the problem doesnt exisit.

That feels better, might be back later for some more venting

mustiwearabra Thu 18-May-17 06:17:14

You can fuck off if you think I'm going to be your bridesmaid after not contacting me for 6 months when I poured my heart out about how much I was struggling with my illness. Your excuse that you had to change wedding venue and were a bit stressed is bollocks.

ShieldMaidenMamma Thu 18-May-17 06:31:15

First off, thank you so much for this thread flowers

No, I will not let you back into my life. I can't handle the constant emotional blackmail. I can't handle the way you make me feel almost like family, almost human. I DIDN'T cause your illness, because I DIDN'T choose the timing of my birth, maliciously or otherwise. Without you in my life, I'm an adult, a human being. Just your cheap bribery of unwanted gifts or whining letters arriving, just the THOUGHT of you creeping back into my life reduces me to an unwanted, childish burden. A bastard. Another thing I didn't choose in order to spite you, you abhorrent bitch.

And You, I was never your property in the first place, and as polite as I have to be to you now, I hate you for what you did to me. I think the way you throw tantrums about not being able to control me all these years later makes you look like the piece of shit you are, and I can't wait for our text communication to come out in court where you won't be able to hide what you are.

obviouslymarvellous Thu 18-May-17 06:52:59

Yes I was bloody angry I had every right to be you have 3 grandchildren who you never see - you have slagged me off to anyone that will listen even though they ALL know what you are capable of and it's YOU that did this. Who screams at their daughter when they have had a very late miscarriage and has to give birth at 24 weeks to "Fuck off and disappear" because I wanted support. Why would you wish I got divorced and ended up on my arse with nothing and tell me so in front of my son? I didn't think there was any worse feeling than being told by a parent that they hate you that they wish you would fall flat on your face and crawl under a rock and disappear from the earth. It was your choice to have me not mine. I am your child!
I look around and see others with their parents, happy and full of love and support and wonder what I did to deserve this?
Most people have lovely memories of growing up but not me I remember abuse, anger, resentment and a nasty bitterness. I have figured it out now though you are jealous, jealous of anyone who is happy and will do everything you can to ruin that - you think the world owes you something because you had a shitty marriage well NO it doesn't! Five years have passed since we last spoke and I have to say I have never been happier - I no longer dread the phone ringing (thank god for being able to block numbers!) no more abusive emails or texts demanding money or lifts here there and everywhere. I have three wonderful children and a husband whom I adore and if anything YOU have taught me the kind of mother I will NEVER be!

ShieldMaidenMamma Thu 18-May-17 07:18:29

If you honestly think sleeping with my ex makes you a "mother figure" to my dd, who doesn't even like him never mind you, you really are the silly little girl I first took you for. My daughter's life isn't a game, and if you don't stop treating her like some sort of fancy pet/fashion accessory, this may even come to blows. Getting smug at me and saying I'm jealous because of him is laughable. Have you seen my husband? You'll never even know that he's fun, respectful, kind and intelligent too. Have you seen what you've 'won'? How's it going? He put a stop to all your hobbies yet? How are you liking all the rape? The openness about why he's 'entitled' to cheat? Keep the dickhead. Just stop messing with my daughters head or sooner or later I'll work out how to get away with hurting you.

ShieldMaidenMamma Thu 18-May-17 07:19:19

Omg that feels better... sorry got a bit- erm.. yeah, I'll go calm down for a bit

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers Thu 18-May-17 07:24:20

MIL, I love you but it's our wedding. We haven't invited your random family member that I've met once, because he felt me up on that occasion and DP is ready to fly at him for it. We invited your friends so you could have some fun, but not their 16 yo son because, well, he's 16 and will not want to come!

HeadSpace1 Thu 18-May-17 08:08:27

"D"husband- I don't think I will ever completely forgive you for getting another woman pregnant, even if we were on a "break" and she didn't make it known till years later, it still doesn't make it hurt any less you were adamant you hadnt been with anyone else wen we got back together and if i had of known tge truth at the time i never would have got back with you. our children will always miss out because of all the child support you pay now. Secretly I wish your donated kidney gives up so the children and I could get on with our lives before they realise the truth because I can't bear tearing our family aprt by divorcing you because I see how much the children adore you.

deuxmoulins Thu 18-May-17 08:23:59

You have let me down, big style. You don't get to just fuck it and do what you want as soon as the last kid turns 18! That's not how it works! You still have a fucking responsibility to be a vaguely decent person and at least pretend to give a shit about your children's feelings. If it wasn't for stupid uni rules about not working I would be far, far away from you.

PinkSquash Thu 18-May-17 08:29:04

Stop using the DC as weapons and to get you sympathy. They need their mum and not just their dad and his latest girlfriend. You are damaging them beyond repair, it's the only part of my life you can control and soon they will see what you're doing.

professorvape Thu 18-May-17 09:32:38

This is not very mature, but to ExH - I told you so, you selfish arsehole. You rushed into introducing the kids to your new girlfriend. I asked you to be measured about it, to think about the impact on the kids as we had not long broken up. 'Oh no!' you said. 'She's THE ONE. It's good for the children to see me happy. I just know it's going to work - I don't need to wait a reasonable time to make sure the relationship is established. Blah blah blah'. Well now you've broken up. Well fucking done for adding some more instability to the lives of our DC. When are you going to accept that you are not special or different, the normal 'rules' do apply to you too. You don't class yourself as a cheater - yet you had an emotional affair and fling whilst I was pregnant. News for you buddy - that makes you a cheater. It does count. Douche!

Bordersarethebest Sat 20-May-17 08:02:12

I hate working and I always have. I've had a successful, well paid career and am currently in a pleasant minimum wage job. I've done a wide range of roles but basically can't wait to retire. The only time I was truly happy was as a SAHM. I can't tell DH as he's always worked hard to support us and I know he has stressful times. I know I have to work to support DC through university and I'm not quibbling at al. I just envy people who love their jobs. Never happened for me. It's all a drag that I have to get through for the next 15 years.

BeachyKeen Thu 25-May-17 12:52:50

Staaaaaaaap! Stop posting about getting hitched! 3 year engagement (with daily updates), with countdown, 25! People in your wedding party , 2 day long photo shoot, and now 3 albums of honeymoon pics.
Enough! We get it. He loves you and you love him.
I dread their pfb.

Groovee Thu 25-May-17 16:11:25

It was your fault our weekend away was cancelled. You refused to go if one person didn't come on the first night. You then deny you were behind me being told that no one liked me... but you were the one who was telling your friend to pm me!

You refused to see that your "bestie" wanted nothing to do with you. You insisted it was someone else who was treating you like crap!

We do not owe you money as we lost money with the weekend being cancelled.

You stood and lied when there was text evidence that you were leaving someone out!

Every lie that comes out your mouth is due to your fantasy life.

imsorryiasked Thu 25-May-17 16:52:53

Actually I can't just forget it, the email you sent me was horrible. I still can't believe that's what you think me. We've always got along, had a laugh. I thought we were friends. Even now thinking about it makes me shaky. You have no idea what you've done to me.

Stitchosaurus Thu 25-May-17 17:07:34

'Friend' of many years - do kindly fuck off you self-absorbed bitch. I reach out to you because I'm struggling at the mo...and despite me having to listen to all of your made up concerns for years, you completely ignore me and keep talking about your non-problems. Good luck with that the next time you try it.

Husband - our son isn't bothered that you're now not coming with us this weekend, think that pretty much sums up how we both feel about you right now

user1494237944 Thu 25-May-17 17:23:00

You are selfish and self absorbed. You are treating the dds disgracefully and allowing your gf to join in. Once they are living with me do you think they will want anything to do with the father who has repeatedly chosen his own happiness over his own children? Dream on you tosser.

UserShmuser Thu 25-May-17 17:24:48

I have been there for you all at different stages when you've needed me, flying to the other side of the world to be by your side at your wedding, doing things like throwing your hen party and making it amazing, keeping that guy's friend talking while you got off with him, staying out all weekend with you, offering you a place to live when you had nowhere else to go, coming round at a ridiculous hour because you were alone and needed to talk, running to the hospital and sitting beside you while you said goodbye to your brother, defending you to our other friends, helping you find a job to name a few.

I've had a pretty hard year. My son had major, life threatening surgery and I didn't get a single message on the day to see how any of us were doing. One of you waited an entire two weeks to say anything and then apologised because the day after the op you had to look after your niece while your sister put her dog down...I still don't understand how that stopped you taking two seconds away to just text. I had another miscarriage and didn't get any support, not even an invitation to a night out. I lost a close family member and only one of you got in touch.
I don't know what has happened but you're all shit friends and I'm done.

Also, to my lovely manager...

I'm not leaving to take a break from working and to spend time with my son (although that is going to be incredible). I'm leaving because I truly cannot stand working with you. You are a bully, unprofessional and borderline insane. If you carry on the way you are now some body some day will snap and end up smacking you right across your face. I hope it hurts. Your employees all hate you, even your 'favourites' do too and it's cringey to see how you act with them. What you did re the two separate birthdays was disgraceful and I wanted to report you to HR for your behaviour but the poor girl begged me not to because she was scared you'd take it out on her. You cannot throw one member of staff a birthday party and the next week ignore another member of staff's birthday especially when they were both turning the same 'big' age. I feel sorry for you. You are alone for a reason, nobody is there to help you for a reason and I think it's going to stay that way.

Aaaaaand breathe...thank you!

rawrrrrr Thu 25-May-17 17:37:39

Inexplicably extended family member - getting pregnant when you were told
medically not to and putting your life at risk was very stupid. So was piercing your bf's condoms. Stop mooching off family members and look after yourself like an adult for once.

Dsis - stop being a bloody martyr and give dn a break

Dn - stop expecting me to always take your side with disagreements with your dm. She is my sister. Also stop whinging about being broke when your wedding is costing £30k!

Df - I hate that you've ditched us in favour of your new woman. I hate that you let her "get away" with all things you berated and verbally abused dm over. I hate that you've turned into a grumpy arse hole when you used to be my hero.

Db- answer my fucking texts. Let us come and see you. Don't act like your family don't care about you. Don't say you're too busy with work to see us and then tag yourself on a "lads night lash up". You're nearly 50 ffs.

MIL- I adore you dearly but stop shit stirring between your "new" family and your "old" family. It upsets everybody and makes them wonder what you say about them behind their back.

So called "friends" - Ostracising someone because they put their kids first rather than dumping them for a child free piss up does not make someone a "sanctimonious bitch" also don't call people things like that in whatsapp because you can screenshot you know

Other friend - stop screenshotting whatsapp

Ahhh I feel better

TeenageCentaurMortificado Thu 25-May-17 17:55:19

Ex
Stop fucking messaging me. We split over 18 months ago. Finally over the fact you were a lying cheating cunt. It finally freed me from your mental illness. Your emotional abuse. The lies, the uncertainly. You fucked my self esteem for so so long. Affected my mental health. I am better now and free. The ONLY thing I can't do yet is block you as your alcohol abuse and mental illness means I need a heads up of you plan to come to my house and do something stupid (like before). But I don't answer you. Ever. So stop texting like it was yesterday and not 18 months. Flitting between professing your love and down right abuse and guilt and fucked up thoughts.

I loved you deeply once. You are a narcissistic, abusive, dangerous, mentally ill man who refuses to help himself. I hope you remain alone and never get to destroy another person like you did me.

And actually I just laugh at your texts now. I pity you and your alternate reality life.

Fuck off. And fuck off quietly. I never ever want to lay eyes on you again. Cunt.

Foslady Thu 25-May-17 18:52:13

I want the pinball game in my head to stop.
I'm sick of the team right now. I'm sick of being poor. I'm sick of every spare penny somehow ending up on being spent on anything but me (dd you've had a hell of a lot these last few months, yes I'm very proud of what you have achieved and are working on but each one is skinting me and your useless father does fuck all to help). I'm sick of being lonely with the only bloke who's interested in me I have no spark for whatsoever - one child is enough without his ways.

I just want the pay I deserve and someone for me. But that's too much to ask isn't it???

Whatwankeryisthis Thu 25-May-17 18:54:49

RELATIVE no, things will never be the same between us again, I am devestated that your affair meant I ENDED UP LYING for over a year, I wish I could turn back the clock and do things very differently. I know your life is very difficult now and not the much greener grass/bed of roses you expected but I can only offer you the same level of support as before, absolutely no more, and at the end of the day communication works (or should work) both ways.

FRIEND- you absolutely infuriate me!! You are selfish and immature, I only hope over time I can distance myself from your self-centred ways. I don't remotely need you in my life but my mothering nature makes me reach out to you, maybe I think I can save you. blush

*ANOTHER FRIEND*- I wish I could help you, I see you are on a downward spiral and I truly truly worry about the end of that spiral, I genuinely fear for your's and your children's safety and wellbeing. I wish I could understand mental health enough to be able to reach out to you in a way that would actually matter.

BEST FRIEND I wish I could take away what you are going through and help you with the hugely conflicting feelings you are having. I truly wish the future brings the happiness I know you seek and I will help you in any way I can. You are one of my hero's and every day I am grateful a "mutual friend" blushwink brought us together. I love you like a Sister and know you feel the same.

HUBBY- you are the absolute love of my life, you have been my world for 15 years and I have so much to thank you for and be grateful for. The fact I am premenstrual however means I could quite easily and happily stab you to death simply for breathing or looking at me the wrong way. Love you though smilesmilehalo

mermaidsandunicorns Thu 25-May-17 20:01:05

I am sorry it ended how it did. You financially controlled me. It's taken me a long time to heal especially as you got engaged four months after we finished twat rebound

You drink too much and you're pissing away the inheritance you were left

HeadSpace1 Thu 25-May-17 22:03:08

You dont expect your own daughter and her family to stay at their house because she is disgusted how filthy and grubby it is so why should my family have to put up with it? also your daughters famiky are never expected to be at any of these 'family" events because they are apparently so busy well guess what so are we! And our children have their own lives too why should they put them on hold constantly for you lot? I told you exactly the reason why I dont want to stay there, being made to sleep on a pissy mouldy smelly mattress on the floor of a bedroom covered in filthy children's clothes with sheets and blankets that look like they've never been washed and telling me to bring sleeping bags instead! Really! Just because you have a nice warm clean caravan of your own to stay in! Clearly they have no respect for us or even want us there if they cant put the effort in to even give us a clean bed to sleep in! you would raise hell if we did that to them at ourhouse!

I'm ducking glad I finally have you a peice of my mind I have held my tounge for far too long. Everone has been thinking it for the last 3 years about time you were told!

Husband, no "d" right now as I'm too angry with you. Why do you continue to put up with their crap and refuse to see my point of view? Just because she is your mother doesn't mean she can put these demands on you she doesn't hold her other children to the same expectations and you need to open your bloody eyes and see that instead of ignoring it! And I hope you are prepared to replace the children's clothes when they go walkabout in that house because their children dont respect others belongings or they take a fancy to our childrens clothes because they fit properly are clean don't have stains and aren't close to rags like their own clothes because their mother doesn't give a crap!

HeadSpace1 Thu 25-May-17 22:31:58

And no I haven't passed on the good quality used clothes from my children, just the cheap well used things because they have no respect! My girls had to see them on the farm multiple times with their handed down "best" dresses that were still like new on covered in cow poop and filth too many times!

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