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Would you report this to social services?

(27 Posts)
Fakenameforthis Mon 15-May-17 17:50:40

Posted on fb. Mum has 4 children aged between 2 and 16. I've changed names and other non important details. Sophie is her 13yr old DD)

"I fucking hate Sophie. She makes life so hard and doesn't understand that she needs to care about me and not put herself first. If she gets one more detention she might as well be dead. She only ever shouts at me and causes problems for me."

To which others have put U OK hun style replies and she has put
"I wish she'd never been born. I wish I was dead. She doesn't understand how hard it is being mum to her and she needs to learn quickly or someone else better have her".

In all this, Sophie is tagged.

ImperialBlether Mon 15-May-17 17:53:45

Is this someone you know?

Fakenameforthis Mon 15-May-17 17:55:09

Yes.

Things like this are posted about twice a month. I've spoken to her a couple of times about what support she needs but nothing has changed. She lives in the city I used to live in.

AfunaMbatata Mon 15-May-17 17:56:49

Can't imagine CS doing much about a few words in a screen.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Mon 15-May-17 17:59:28

I would certainly try and find out if they were ok.

Theworldisfullofidiots Mon 15-May-17 17:59:29

This is terrible. Could the school help. I'm not sure Social Services will do much although it is abuse in my opinion. Whose the adult in this relationship comes to mind.

FlossyMooToo Mon 15-May-17 18:00:14

Its a rant on FB. Unless you feel the children are at risk then ss will not be helpful.
Can you not post a link yo a local homestart the next time she posts?

Littlebunnyboy130 Mon 15-May-17 18:43:21

It is abuse. It comes under cyber bullying and emotional abuse. I think SS would look into it.

JamesDelaneysHat Mon 15-May-17 18:48:39

Tbh honest it sounds a bit like 'Sophie' might have written it?

Problems in the family either way.

NerrSnerr Mon 15-May-17 19:11:57

I'd be tempted to screenshot and email the school.

BitchPeas Mon 15-May-17 19:13:45

I agree with Nerr it might help them build a bigger picture. Especially if there is multiple posts.

unapaloma Mon 15-May-17 19:37:42

Unless you feel the children are at risk then ss will not be helpful
Surely having the mother repeatedly wish the DD was dead, publicly, must he seen as not providing g a suitable environment for the DDs well being? Do people really think that's OK?

FlossyMooToo Mon 15-May-17 19:51:13

They may try and offer support but if there is no need for concern then there is nothing ss can do. The mum can deny she wrote it if she did write it. Its a difficult one but without any other red flags i doubt it will get further than an "is everything ok" phone call.

The OP soes not state if there is anything else which could warrant a ss phone call. Just these fb rants.

RJnomore1 Mon 15-May-17 19:54:16

I'd be worried. If I've read it properly mums wishing herself dead and not Sophie (although she's saying awful things about Sophie)

I think I'd start with alerting the school. They sounds like they need support to improve their relationship st the very least. And mum doesn't sound like she's coping.

Hedgeh0g Mon 15-May-17 19:55:45

Are people missing the fact that Sophie is tagged in this? I.e. She can see it, and it will post to her feed where all her friends will see it?
This is emotional abuse. Yes, OP, I would report to SS.

wowbutter Mon 15-May-17 20:00:09

Report it t the nspcc, they will screen it p, offer advice and pas it on if needs be.
If the mum will say this in a public way, what does she say to the poor kid when nobody can hear??

BurnTheBlackSuit Mon 15-May-17 20:05:13

That is so shocking and sad. Poor Sophie. I would flag it to someone, probably the school so they can support Sophie and escalate it.

Ditsy1980 Mon 15-May-17 20:08:25

She's probably tagging Sophie to give her and her friends an idea of how stressful parenting Sophie is.
Sophie is probably playing up and behaving badly because her mum posts shit on fb about her.

I'd refer anonymously somewhere, there's clearly underlying issues in the home.

Maudlinmaud Mon 15-May-17 20:09:58

It's not the type of comment someone makes unless they are in a bad place. Is there any way you could contact the mum either by phone or in person to let them know you are worried. Sometimes people just need someone to reach out and chat with them.

Fakenameforthis Mon 15-May-17 20:29:45

These posts happen a lot, every couple of weeks and about each of the three older children. It sounds to me like the mum isn't coping and she isn't responding to help that people have offered - I know I have and I'm 80 miles away. I know that more local people have too as occasionally there are posts thanking other adults for looking after the children so she can have a rest.

I think it would feel less of an issue if Sophie wasn't tagged in it - it mum has no issue writing it online then I wonder what is also being said to her face.

Cheerybigbottom Mon 15-May-17 20:45:54

That is a seriously alarming post. I would report it to social services. I cannot imagine the daughter reading that and not feeling terrible, children have hurt themselves over less.

zeeboo Mon 15-May-17 20:56:10

That is blatant and straightforward emotional abuse. I'd print out as many statuses like that that I could find and write the woman's name and address on the bottom and send them to local social services or NSPCC and Sophie's school.

NellieFiveBellies Mon 15-May-17 20:59:14

I would report it, she sounds like she needs help and support.

calling social services is seen by some as if you are trying to punish a person. Nothing could be further from the truth. When you see someone struggling, and particularly when it is likely to impact on their children, calling to alert people who can help them is the kind thing to do.

Beebeeeight Mon 15-May-17 21:02:37

It's emotional abuse.

The family need support and that's what ss is for.

AdelindSchade Mon 15-May-17 21:02:53

Yes you should report it.

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