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MN said LTB 7 years ago but I stayed and now feel stuck

(6 Posts)
Beebeeeight Sun 14-May-17 09:05:28

If I list everything that's wrong with this relationship it will sound awful and people will say leave but I'm so worn down I have little confidence that I'd cope on my own after all these years.

I hardly ever see my friends so have little IRL support or anyone to talk to. He blames me for our problems and I've no neutral 3rd party to give me an honest assessment IYKWIM?

I'm scared I'll lose my dcs.
I'd rather stay if that's happen.
I can imagine an acrimonious split.

He took paternity leave as the lower earner but was supposed to go back to work/get a better job by the time dc was 1.

He has now become a unemployed cocklodger SAHP.

I don't want this. I want us both working and dc in childcare.

Now I'm scared he's manufactured this situation so he would get to keep dc if we split!!

What do I do?

He has PRR.

I can't lose my baby!!!!!

user1491572121 Sun 14-May-17 13:48:03

You need to tell us more about the actual issues you're having OP in order for us to help.x

Beebeeeight Sun 14-May-17 19:06:10

The issue is does anyone else have experience of splitting from a sahp and becoming resident parent even 50/50?

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty Sun 14-May-17 19:47:43

the SAHP doesn't automatically get full custody these days. The default split would be 50/50 unless there is a serious reason why one parent shouldn't have 50/50 or if one of them doesn't want it. Not sure what PRR means - have you had dealings with the court before over the children? If there are no real reasons why you shouldn't be just as involved as he is (including using childcare while you work - being jobless doesn't make him the better parent)

It is a huge leap of faith but don't let fear keep you in this misery. Tell us a bit more about your situation, I'm sure people won't judge you - most of us stayed longer than we should have done out of fear of the unknown. flowers

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty Sun 14-May-17 19:49:01

Sorry that middle bit didn't quite make sense but you get the idea!

Beebeeeight Sun 14-May-17 20:49:37

PRR is parental rights and responsibilities.

I've never heard of anyone IRL who has done 50/50 after a split.

How on earth would that work with tax credits/cms? confused

I don't want to go into details about the relationship. It is what it is.

I want to know if I'll lose my child!

There must have been other mothers who have experienced this.

I know I can go to a lawyer but that isn't the same.

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