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16 and 20 age gap. Am I wrong to be concerned?

(3 Posts)
YoJesse Thu 20-Apr-17 08:39:49

My niece is 16. A really sweet girl who is doing well in school and is bright and popular. She's started seeing a guy who's 20 almost 21. I've met him a few times and he seems nice, works full time and I think treats her well. I don't know if they're having sex yet and don't want to push her away by asking.

He's also a bit of a party guy according to some people (small town gossip grin) but nothing really bad.

I look out for her and I just feel a bit concerned with the age gap. She's not very experienced and is mature in some ways but I think quite naive in others. She's planning to study at uni next year and I don't want anything to put her off. When I was her age I was hanging out with older blokes, bunking off, drinking etc and I don't want her to mess up like I did. Her mum (my sister) has asked me what I think and I honestly don't know?

Would it bother you and what, if anything should I say or do?

irregularegular Thu 20-Apr-17 08:46:07

The main thing here is that, by your own admission, he is a nice guy and treats her well. Moreover she is 16 i.e., not under age. You have no reason to think he is a negative influence on her and her future plans. So no, it wouldn't bother me and I certainly wouldn't say anything. Just continue normal, interested, positive and supportive aunty-niece conversations. It's really none of your business.

YoJesse Thu 20-Apr-17 09:43:10

I know legally it's fine but even though it's just a few years the age gap seems bigger than it is.

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