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I thought I was doing really well and I'm

(8 Posts)
AnchorDownDeepBreath Wed 19-Apr-17 16:37:06

A fortnight ago, my relationship with my boyfriend broke down after 10 years.

Last week he punched me in the face and the police visited me at work to give me a lecture on not becoming a beaten wife. I had to move all my things out of my house in the middle of the night and am now homeless and sofa surfing until I can afford a deposit. It is miserable.

I'm a month into a new job. I was told when I started that we start at 7:30 but if it was more convenient (because of train times), I could get the later train, and realistically would have been in for 8am.

I've been getting a lift from a colleague for the past week and getting in around 7:45. Today was 8:15 because he was late but I did apologise a lot and I will stay late, as I often do, and more than cover my hours. My boss just took me into a room to ask me to be on time because it's not fair on other people in the team and if it's noticed, it'll distract from my excellent work record. I apologised again and agreed.

Realistically I don't know where I'll be able to sleep to get in on time; colleague doesn't start until 8:45 so is already coming early for me. I'm sad that despite everything, this is what is seen as important...

I'll email him later and apologise again but that feeling of holding it all together is completely gone and I feel like crying. I'm so deflated. I was giving everything to keep work going when everything else has collapsed around me.

flowersareblooming Wed 19-Apr-17 16:52:21

Hi op

Your situation sounds hard

helpimitchy Wed 19-Apr-17 18:21:03

Can you explain your current situation and the reasons it's happened?

imsorryiasked Wed 19-Apr-17 19:22:14

Oh OP do please explain the circumstances to your boss. Your employer may even be able to advance you a loan to cover a deposit on a new place.

FrameyMcFrame Wed 19-Apr-17 19:26:55

You are doing well, minor setback. Can you get a train instead of a lift?
Can you borrow money for a deposit from family?

user1471451259 Thu 20-Apr-17 03:27:58

I would set out the reasons for you being late in an email to your boss copied to his or her line manager. I would inform him of the domestic violence and include police report number and any court action etc etc. Explain that it will only be a temporary issue and the steps you are taking to rectify situation . Say you will make up the hours attend end of the day. Acknowledge any disadvantages or problems caused to the team by this (if any). State how you will address them. Be factual and dispassionate. Copy in a union rep if you have one. Highlight the fact that you have not had time off sick despite being a victim of a crime and also highlight anything you have done at work recently above and beyond the call...

Invite your boss to discuss above points if any problems or issues.

You can't argue with reason.

MrsTwix Thu 20-Apr-17 04:43:21

flowers as a domestic violence victim the local council may be able to help you especially as the police have been involved.

babybels Thu 20-Apr-17 08:37:47

You are doing really well to hold down a job in those circumstances. As others have said I think telling your boss will help as then they will be more sympathetic to you.
Good luck with everything. You deserve flowers and many pats on the back!

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