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Miscarriage due dates and friends new babies.

(11 Posts)
Soulcakequack Wed 08-Mar-17 17:10:58

Last summer I had 2 miscarriages in a row the last being an eptopic. No joy as yet falling pregnant again. My first due date is a week away the second 6 weeks.

Two close friends are due in March and April. I've tried really hard to make sure Im interested, supportive and enthusiastic about others pregnancies. I've been to baby showers, cooed over nurseries, listened to last trimester moans and fears.

I'm still very sad about my miscarriages particularly as the due dates are close. And seeing friends being where I hoped to be is a reminder of what might have been.

But I've been careful not to mention it to anyone in the friendship group after the initial explanation of why id been in hospital. As it's not a helpful topic when there are ladies who are pregnant and worried.

But I think I'm losing these friendships :-( I guess we're just out of step or that I'm not pulling off being ok as well I thought and makes people uncomfortable. I'm now the only person with one child. Plans are obivously baby friendly and include but even meet ups with babies and toddlers rarely include me anymore.

Sounds silly but feels like another layer of loss :-(. I'm starting realise that the friendships are more changed by different live paths than I've acknowledged.

I'm planning on enjoying doing lots things with my little family and making the most of the child I have.

I'll send new baby gifts to mums and try arrange smaller meetups with those women I like most and just see how it pans out.

But I'm really struggling right now and I feel so stupid for it

Allthebestnamesareused Wed 08-Mar-17 20:52:26

Don't feel stupid at all. I suffered from 2 miscarriages and a delivered miscarriage and I still think about the losses on all the edd. Treat yourself kindly, maybe spesk to someone. - DP, mum or friend and explain what day it is. Its ok to have a cry. flowers

Thetruthfairy Wed 08-Mar-17 21:06:35

I am sorry op. I just wanted to say that you seem so lovely.
I wish you all the best x

muminmanchester Wed 08-Mar-17 21:14:28

I feel your pain OP. My best friend was due about a month before my baby would have been born. She actually text me to tell me she was pregnant while I was in hospital waiting to have my mc confirmed. I never told her any of it but in retrospect I think i should have because I ended up drifting away from her during her pregnancy and I'm sure it was hurtful to her.

But it was all different once her baby was born. Everything changed from then on. I love her daughter and have never once felt sadness or bitterness about her. I sometimes feel nostalgic about what could have been but it's nothing like how I felt while she was still pregnant.

I hope it's the same for you OP xx

Pinkpiglet85 Thu 16-Mar-17 14:04:28

Hi I'm new to this, but reading other stories, even of they're a few years old definitely seem to help. I'm (hopefully still) pregnant. I had to have an early scan on 8/3/17, fetus was measuring 5 weeks. Got told need to go back for another internal scan 20/3/17. Since then been getting bleeding, lost some sort of tissue linings, still not sure if it's a miscarriage. I've had 3 miscarriages , this, if one doesn't feel like the ones before. I know you can have a missed miscarriage /missed abortion, and still feel pregnant or even still be pregnant and have a healthy baby. Has anyone else lost like string like pinkish tissue stuff (not too sure exactly what it is) bleeding like it's a very light period...Nothing on a sanitary pad. No pain, other than in lower back. I've existing back problems, so not sure if that or existing back problems.

Soulcakequack Sat 18-Mar-17 09:25:28

Pink im sorry your going through this. The waiting between scans is dreadful <hugs>

I had a small reduction of symptoms in 2 of miscarriages but still had strong morning sickness until my hcg was below 100. (I had an ectopic was this was measured lots).

Regards bleeding ive bleed in all my pregnancies. By far the worse bleed was with the pregnancy that resulted in a healthy baby.

Sadly I don't think there is anyway to tell for sure until the scan shows you xxxx

Cantchooseaname Sat 18-Mar-17 09:31:37

Having just passed the anniversary of miscarriage this week (2yrs) the emotions around it make everything else harder. I have been a wreck, even though I have a very beautiful 10 month old. I have avoided everyone- babies or not. Maybe once the pain of the next few weeks is behind you things may feel easier? I'm not suggesting hat it will go, but anniversaries are a special kind of torture.
Be kind to yourself. Take some space for you.

Pinkpiglet85 Sun 19-Mar-17 12:06:58

Thank you for all the replies. Yes, the waiting is horrible! shock the bleeding has got worse, since I posted the first post. Still have sore boobs etc , and still showing as positive test. It's all very stressful.

Soulcakequack Mon 20-Mar-17 14:49:54

Pink thinking of you today

Pinkpiglet85 Mon 20-Mar-17 16:42:53

Thank you. I've had my hospital appointment today 20/3/17, I've had a missed miscarriage. I've got to have an SMM operation to remove it this wed. Thank you for support.

Soulcakequack Mon 20-Mar-17 19:45:19

Oh pink thats horrid news I'm so sorry. I had the same operation with my first misscarriage. If you have any questions or need to talk send me a pm x

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