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Ex-anorexic now becoming overweight :(

(14 Posts)
Kismetjayn Sat 16-Feb-19 12:28:32

Does anyone have any advice on how to safely lose weight after being disordered?

My DP has always eaten crap, and now he is doing a share of cooking/food shopping while I study my weight has been creeping up. I don't know how to lose it without going crazy again so I've been passively watching as we both get fatter!

This is clearly not working as I'm almost in tears from weight anxiety every day and beginning to slip into disorders- not eating most of the day, then eating dinner he's cooked, freaking out about how unhealthy it is, and stress eating sweets/chocolate.

Sticking to a healthy eating plan hasn't seen any results because christmas, valentine's Day, Chinese New year... All these extra calories bump the overall up so I've not lost anything. I'm stressing tf out.

Reccy2018 Sat 16-Feb-19 12:32:29

You need to visit your GP. What is your BMI? If you are a healthy weight now and maintaining it, it suggests you are eating the right number of calories now.

Kismetjayn Sat 16-Feb-19 12:35:16

I'm tracked in eating disorders outpatients.

If I gain another kg we're going to discuss a plan to get it back down but I don't want the emotional pain of hitting that point and having it there in my notes. I've been steadily going up since October, having maintained a healthy weight within a 3kg range for almost 3 years.

Reccy2018 Sat 16-Feb-19 12:38:51

In that case I'd ask them to help you with a plan to lose it now. Can they give you the advice now, that they will give you if you gain another 1kg?

What does your partner say when you ask him to use less oil, butter etc and make it more healthy?

Kismetjayn Sat 16-Feb-19 12:42:54

I could- but the sessions are devoted to reworking the traumas etc that led to developing the ED in the first place and since I'm only funded to the summer I'd rather prioritise that than waste it spending more time talking about my weight which has always been a symptom! I'd like to know how to manage it on my own and if I can't, I can't. But I don't even know where to start, my only answer is 'just stop eating' and that's clearly ridiculous.

He just says 'do you want me to cook or not'.

But he's a STBX for a reason grin only reason he's cooking now, is because I want him to learn so he can cook when caring for DD. But he just cooks 'stuff that looks tasty' from recipes on the internet with no clue about nutrition.

Reccy2018 Sat 16-Feb-19 12:46:01

Yes, don't not eat. I Don't want to offer advice to you given your history, as I'm no where near qualified enough. I'm overweight and have things I do to keep my weight down but I'm a binge eater so it doesn't stay down for long- until my next binge period.

MashedSpud Sat 16-Feb-19 12:47:00

If using my fitness pal doesn’t stress you, maybe use that but choose maintaining if you’re at the right bmi.
Also exercise without over exercising.

Maybe see your gp if you’re finding things difficult.

Kismetjayn Sat 16-Feb-19 15:25:31

I could use MFP- but I really would like some guidance on what 'normal' choices are.

I could easily get the right number of calories but if it's still 'oh I'll starve myself all day then eat all my calories in pizza for dinner' it still isn't quite right- so wondering if anyone could say what they might do to slowly lose a bit of extra weight and maintain a healthy attitude. I just don't know how to do it properly.

I'm about 4kg over my target (mid range, healthy) weight range as set by the EDU, so do want to go back to it as I was coping there. I don't know what my BMI is as the clinician calculates & plots that part.

humanfemale Sat 16-Feb-19 17:40:53

Have you tried adding healthy food that you really enjoy in (for example lovely fruits, or a bowl of soup at some point every day) and working from there?

You'll be eating more initially but over time the good influence of the healthy food might start to crowd out some of the less healthy stuff?

I've found this has worked for me, although of course there is no magic answer.

It feels like you've gone from ultimate control over food during your anorexia to relinquishing all control and allowing your OH to feed you whatever he fancies. (Sorry if I have misunderstood but this is how I interpreted it.) Seems like it's time to take back some of that choice for yourself.

Sorry you're going through this. I am also recovering from disordered eating (and in general just have massively obsessive thinking patterns) arising from my traumatic past so I feel for you.

tanya1986 Wed 20-Feb-19 20:08:04

I have suffered with an ED for nearly 20 years. I cry about my weight gain and over the last few months I have been starving myself but recently slowly trying to eat with my DC as I don't want to fall back to a point where I can no longer help myself, I'm obsessed with healthy eating and exercise I read on it most nights.

I have just bought some scales (my sis gave me a lecture) as I never know what I weigh as I banned myself from knowing due to being obsessive with it. I use to weigh my self all day every day! my diet hasn't changed so don't understand the weight gain. I have cried so much about it, people have asked me when I was due when they could see my baby girl etc...

do you have an implant?
I've just had the implant (after a year) out after the docs realised I am slipping backwards. they say you don't gain weight from it but I'm convinced that is the reason why. I only had it last week and my belly has gone down so much I no longer look 8 months pregnant

Nottalotta Wed 20-Feb-19 20:13:29

OP I have no experience with ED. I use mfp, to lose weight. I aim for 1800 cals a day, split into 3 x 500 cals, and 2 x 150 snacks. This helps even things out.

Kismetjayn Thu 21-Feb-19 09:10:16

@HumanFemale I've been trying this over the last few days and I think it might be a good way in smile

I've installed MFP and am set to 1600cals, trying to be reasonable and not go for the lowest possible setting & keeping an eye on the urge to 'improve' by being under the daily limit.

@tanya1986 it sounds like you are really struggling sad
I'm not on the implant but have you had your thyroid checked?

If you're starving, weighing & obsessing it sounds like you could do with some extra help... As stressed as I am now it's nothing compared to the all consuming feeling of it before treatment. And every other area of my life has improved thanks to addressing the underlying causes, it really is worth it ❤️

tanya1986 Fri 01-Mar-19 00:40:37

I've been dealing with this for 18 years sadly. Sugger terrible body dysmorphia. I'm very level headed believe it or not. It is like a constant battle with the brain lol. I do get support, my doctors are on top of me all the time as I have episodes of suicidal thoughts etc but I have two beautiful children who I adore and keep myself as healthy as poss for. As soon as I get back to my norm weight I'll be fine. Since having implant out I have lost weight so hopefully that's all it was. I'm not sure about thyroid wouldn't they of picked that up in my many blood tests?

Docs also says as I'm so stressed and not sleeping is another reason for weight gain.

I'm glad you have a hold on things but we both know how obsessive it can become, horrible disease.

CannyLad Fri 01-Mar-19 00:48:43

Given your history and access to professional help via the clinic I would really push them to work with you. If you need to gain 1kg before that help kicks in drink a 2l bottle of water immediately before your next appointment...

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