surplus or deficit for tonning

[happyfrown]

I'm slim but not tonned, my legs wobble like crazy, my belly has a small podge I can grab and my butt claps when doing star jumps but I'm a size 8 and when I try to tonne I lose weight and my face goes gaunt and I look I'll.
I tried cardio and lost face fat and my ass. I read as you get older (I'm 35 ) you need to choose from carrying a bit more weight to keep a plumper face or keeping slim and tonned body but sacrificing your face and having hollow cheeks. That sucks!!
So my question is am I to be eating more the same or less as my calorie burn? I'm confused as my legs are fat, no tonne, so my head says I need to eat deficit to lose fat right? But to tonne and build muscle I need to eat more?

[JustGettingStarted]

If you want to lose jiggly bits, you may lose fat in other places you don't want to lose it.

If you lift heavy weights you can firm up the muscle under the fat.

[happyfrown]

That was my issue last year. I worked really hard to lose a little fat, I lost inch or so off my legs. Didn't firm up as much as I'd hoped. My abs were fab but my face was so gaunt people commented how I'll I looked, also my butt went flat and my over all appearance looked male nurished.

[JustGettingStarted]

I hold fat on my belly. In order to get a small waist, I have to lose my breasts. I settle for a waist that is acceptable/within a healthy ratio to my height, and I don't worry as much about it.

[happyfrown]

My waist is stupid small, for the life of me I can't put weight on upper body. I get side/hip fat but from ribs up its all bones! I don't have boobs to loose.
It's a pain ain't it! I'm stuck with what to do. All I want is to have firm legs, non wobbly butt and rid the lower abs pooch. Which to be fair isn't terrible but I can't tone it with it there. Feel like screaming into a pillow I can't see me being able to firm up with the amount of wobble there is. Even though I'm size 8 I call myself skinny fat

[JustGettingStarted]

Lift heavy weights, concentrate on upper body (chest and shoulders and back). You will fill out.