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WWYD horses companion after pts

(25 Posts)
Esssa Fri 13-Sep-19 14:33:26

On the 1st of October I have made the heartbreaking decision to have my 12 yr old mare pts. I've had her since she was 18 months old and backed her myself. Unfortunately she has bone spavin and arthritic hocks. She also has a front hoof that has been too damaged by laminitis and abscesses. I have tried my best but I just can't keep her sound and comfortable anymore. She is currently on her bodyweight in danilon every day so she can be with my other mare and not sectioned off by herself.

My other mare is 20 but doesn't show it at all. They have been together for the last 10 years or so. So long as they are in the same place, stable or field, they are happy. They can both be stabled alone for short periods.

How long would you give my older mare after the deed is done before her body is taken away to say her goodbyes? I currently have 30 minutes between the vet and the lorry but I worry its not long enough. I have been in tears every day since I made the decision but I have to do what is right for my girl.

They are currently over the fence from another little mare who will become my old girls field companion. At what point would you put them together? They have been neighbours since Christmas. I think my old girl will run about shouting a lot when my other mare is gone, especially if she is turned out alone. I don't want to cause my lame horse more problems if there are any scuffles with introducing the newcomer but don't know whether waiting means the old girl will be more mean to the new one.

Tldr:
How long does a companion horse need to say goodbye after friend is pts?

When would you introduce new companion to remaining horse? They are already neighbours. Remaining horse won't settle alone.

Pasithea Fri 13-Sep-19 14:39:40

God I’m in the same dilemma but I don’t have a companion for my remaining boy. I’ve put loads of horses down and don’t let them see. After so I’m not sure about that one. As for putting the others together they know eachother really well so I don’t see much of a problem to do it more or less straight away. Good luck I’m dreading it with no other horses around.

bodgeitandscarper Fri 13-Sep-19 14:41:03

I'd probably put them together straight away, and I know it is often recommended for companions to see the body, but I don't and not had any issues, in fact the times we have done it the remaining equine seemed to take longer to settle afterwards. I think 30 minutes should be fine.
Hope all goes well.

Booboostwo Fri 13-Sep-19 14:49:25

I am so sorry about your mare.

I let them sniff the companion's body and they seem to understand immediately. I had one horse who was very upset his companion had been taken away, he was very difficult to handle all the way to where the body was but as soon as he sniffed his friend's body he seemed to know and calmed right down.

I'd put the new mare in with your immediately. If they know each other over the fence already there isn't much more you can do. Chances are they will get on.

Esssa Fri 13-Sep-19 15:42:13

Sorry you are in the same position Pasithea. It really sucks. I'm sorry you have the stress of a solo boy.

If I'm honest at least half my stress is about how the old girl will take it. I'm upset enough for all three of us. It's the first time I've had to do this for one of my own, which is lucky I guess in over 13 years. I kind of hope she sniffs her and thats that. Otherwise I'm sure I'll get the screachy bolshy mare she used to be for a while until she settles. As awful as it sounds I wanted her to have time to settle before bonfire 'night' hmm (month?) they like watching the fireworks together sad

Immediately like today or immediately like the 1st? The other owner is happy to follow my lead thankfully.

Esssa Fri 13-Sep-19 15:50:01

Photo of my beautiful mares. Its the chestnut that will be leaving us.

bodgeitandscarper Fri 13-Sep-19 18:46:43

If your poorly mare won't get too stressed or bullied by the neighbour moving in, then I'd put them all together now.

Booboostwo Fri 13-Sep-19 23:30:50

Gorgeous girl!

I’d put the new companion in as soon as your mare is PTS.

HappyGirlNow Sat 14-Sep-19 05:31:21

She’s beautiful. So sorry 💕

frostyfingers Sat 14-Sep-19 14:11:34

The last two times I’ve had to have a horse pts I have let the others in with the body for a short time, probably 10 minutes or so. It didn’t distress them outwardly but who knows what they’re thinking - the one thing I do know is that when I had to have a pony pts away from home his companion spent at least a week looking and calling for him so I vowed that I would avoid that ever again if possible.

I’d put the two together straight away and just keep an eye on them, I’m sorry you have to go through this, it is incredibly hard. I lost my superstar horse in February to a broken leg and I still cry about him.

Esssa Sat 14-Sep-19 17:33:20

Thank you for your kind words and helpful opinions. I was in tears today just brushing her. As a youngster she was plain chestnut with high white markings. Over the years every time she changes her coat she gets more roany. I always wondered what colour she would be in old age. Blanket roan or obviously spotty (her roan is currently in clumps and she has appy/qh ancestors we think) Now I won't ever get to find out. The more I watch her the more I know its the right thing. Its just so bloody hard. Im spending as much time as possible in the field with them at the moment.

I just hope I have a good few years before I have to do this again. My other girl is 20, 14.2hh and built like a tank so I worry about her legs. Thankfully she's pretty sturdy and not showing any signs of slowing down just yet.

Esssa Mon 30-Sep-19 23:20:44

D day is nearly here and I have no idea how I'm going to get through it. I have my mum, fiancé and a good yard friend who will be there tomorrow so all the support possible. Last Sunday we removed the fence and all 3 have settled nicely, which kind of helps, kind of doesn't as the two who have settled best are the new pony and my ginger. The old girl is still giving the new pony the run around especially if there is food. Fingers crossed for a break in the rain tomorrow. If nothing else the weather matches my mood.

GothMummy Mon 30-Sep-19 23:26:52

I am so sorry. I always let the companion see the dead one briefly, mostly they just want a quick sniff and then they know what has happened.

Esssa Mon 30-Sep-19 23:34:44

Yes thats the plan for tomorrow. Old girl has her flu jabs then I have half an hour between the vet arriving and the lorry turning up for me and the old girl to say our goodbyes. Can't believe it is so close now

GothMummy Mon 30-Sep-19 23:44:19

I'm so sorry.

Esssa Tue 01-Oct-19 17:10:01

She's gone. Fairly peacefully. She needed enough sedative to knock out a rhino and half a dozen syringes of luminous blue stuff. Should have been 1-2 clear tubes but they had to use small animal stuff instead of large animal as they couldn't get stock. Crazy considering they are a specialist equine vets! She went down after about 3 tubes and I could tell by her eye when she was gone. The new pony came for a look but the old girl wouldn't come anywhere near after. She knew when she dropped what was going on. So far we've had quiet and I hope she stays settled. Time will tell. I'm now home in bed, supposed to be napping as I'm shattered and my head is banging. Doesn't look like I'll manage it though. Soon be back to check on the old girl before dark. Sleep well my beautiful girl 💔

Okki Tue 01-Oct-19 17:24:05

She's was beautiful. I'm so sorry that you had to lose her before her time. thanks

Grinchly Tue 01-Oct-19 18:01:48

So sorry. I hope your old girl and her new friend settle together.
She was beautiful.thanks

GothMummy Tue 01-Oct-19 18:20:59

I am sorry, she was beautiful.

Grinchly Tue 01-Oct-19 18:21:09

I'm not a horse owner so haven't been through this myself, but with my other beloved animals I have found the second day much worse than the first. I think it passes in a sort of shock, with all the practicalities.

So look after yourself especially tomorrow. You've had quite a while waiting for this too, and that must have been awfully hard.thanks

RedLipsAndRosyCheeks Tue 01-Oct-19 20:08:55

OP, so sorry for you thanks she was very beautiful

Esssa Wed 02-Oct-19 15:57:37

The waiting was hard. I was counting down weeks, days, hours then minutes. It was nice to be able to have time to spoil her a little and allow her things I wouldn't usually.

She had molassed mix and half her body weight in carrots this last week. And plenty of fresh grass too. I had told her I wouldn't brush or rug her seeing as she never really liked either but the weather put paid to that. I don't think she really minded so much.

I spent a good hour or two shaking like I was freezing afterwards. I guess that was like shock but I knew she was going, it wasn't a surprise so I don't know if that is possible? I'm more numb today I think. Less tears but there have been plenty the last 3 weeks. It just depends where my mind wanders as that can cause floods of tears. I suppose it will for a while.

LittleCandle Wed 02-Oct-19 16:45:24

I'm so sorry. She was a beautiful mare, but you know you did the right thing for her. I hope your old girl remains settled with the new companion.

Spudlet Wed 02-Oct-19 16:50:15

I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope your old girl continues to be ok.

The Blue Cross offer pet bereavement counselling over the phone - just in case you wanted to talk to someone. www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss

Esssa Wed 02-Oct-19 21:13:04

I know it was the right thing to do but its just hard not seeing her anymore. Even the vet saod I'd put her welfare above mine and not everyone does that.

I took my old girls rug off this morning and she automatically went to groom with the new pony then realised it wasn't her ginger friend and changed her mind. It always used to facinate the others on the yard that when the rugs came off they automatically went to groom each other. I could stand them both in one stable to groom while I mucked the other one out.

I didn't know that Spudlet so will keep it in mind. Think the BHS might have something to or it may be a stand with you at the time kind of thing.

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