Pony mad child with a clueless mum!

[user1497611129]

Hi, this is quite long but bear with me please!
7 year old daughter been doing lessons every week since she was 4 and 'walk outs' since 3. I have tried a fair few established stables maybe and they all end up the same. So the one before she's currently riding, she spent half hour going round in a circle following the pony in front, she was lifted onto the pony for quickness and completed a couple of 'exams' abrs i think it was so i moved her to a riding club with a pony club. 45 min lesson and 45 min theory during which time she's often pretending to be a horse with the other girls there for nearly £30 a week.. The issue is now, they have swapped instructors around and during a lesson maybe 6 weeks back the ponies where nuts all 8 of them in the lesson, bolting off with children on and bumping bums with one another and at this point she had literally taken a few cantering steps but is now terrified of the horse cantering off into the distance so spends the lesson in sheer terror. 2 children quit after said lesson and 1 comes but gets upset at every sudden movement like the pony stretching its neck. I honestly thought she would never get onto a pony again but she's determined to continue but stands in the middle of the arena while the other girls have a go at cantering while she holds on for dear life praying hers doesn't. Im gutted for her as she's adores the horses and would give anything for her own but i really don't know what to do now? She spent her entire birthday money on a body protector and new hat so she's not showing signs of giving it up but I'm at a total loss at what to do now, i feel totally out of my depth as I'm totally clueless about horses :( Would a private lesson somewhere else be better, scrap pony club and just concentrate on gaining her riding confidence back? Any advice is greatly appreciated

[snowpo]

I think you are bang on with your last sentence. Get her some private lessons at the right stables where she can build her confidence again. I think they learn a lot more quickly one to one if you can stretch to it.
If you can find a local Facebook horsey group, ask for recommendations for the best riding schools. Horsey people will know which are the better ones in your area.

[percheron67]

I agree with snowpo. Confidence can really be shaken if a pony takes off. If she can have (Christmas present?) a few individual lessons with a competent teacher who knows the background, I am sure all will b e well. Good Luck!

[Theresahairbrushinthefridge]

I agree with PP. I know private lessons are really expensive but we feel that they are better value in the long run. You learn so much more in the time therefore need fewer lessons in the long run. Semi private when there are 2/3 in the group are also good as you progress.

Speaking as someone who had years of group lessons on difficult and institutionalised ponies.

[Maryjoyce]

Yes get her private lessons they are taking the pee with 30 pounds as a big group and she will end up wanting to give up too

[Maryjoyce]

I have horses and daughters so I do speak from some experiences

[onedayiwillmissthis]

Please check that any ponies used have been exercised sufficiently before lessons. If they have spent most of day in stalls they will be feisty and less likely to listen to instruction.

This can be more common at this time of year when the school/instructors/owners can't be arsed to groom sufficiently (mud) before lesson.

[Booboostwo]

Private lesson with a decent instructor. Don’t be surprised if they pop her back on the lunge and get her to work on her posture first. When a pony takes off he natural reaction is to hunch over and pull with the reins, something which makes most of them go faster. The trick to stopping a pony is sitting up, straight back, half halt and circle if needed, but it takes a while to teach your body to revert to that in the moment of panic.

[historyrocks]

that’s awful—your poor DD. I would move to another riding school without hesitation. Some private lessons (perhaps on a lunge rain) would probably help.

Is it right that she’s been having lessons for 3 years and she’s only just been taking a few steps in canter? That sounds like slow progress for 3 years.

[lastqueenofscotland]

As above that does sound like slow progress. I’d be looking at moving schools.
Also group lessons especially if you are very novice are quite shit, I hate that front to rear of the ride bollocks.

What part of the country are you in I may be able to recommend a school?

[Butkin1]

Definitely one private lesson a fortnight will be much better than more frequent group lessons until she gets her confidence back.
You may need to move somewhere else and make sure they are used to children of your DD's age and level.

Good luck and hope she sticks at it !!

[maxelly]

Your poor DD, sorry she's had this experience

I've said this on other threads and it isn't pony club bashing at all ( I have been involved with some very good ones both for children with and without own ponies), or having a go at you OP (how would you know after all!), but I would never recommend pony club as a child's only tuition/only riding time. Pony club is great for fun, extra riding time often at reduced cost compared to 'proper' lessons, games, team events, exams etc. but there is rarely the time for proper good quality teaching of new skills, and with lots of DC often of differing riding abilities all in one group, chaos can descend quickly as you've found! So they really need to be having at least the odd proper lesson elsewhere in order to benefit from PC.

I would do as others have said and book her in for a course of 6-8 private lessons at a really good school (I wouldn't go back to the round and round in circles ones either)- I'm afraid you are going to have to pay, perhaps as much as £40-50 for a half hour, and perhaps travel further afield if your local schools are no good. But view it as an investment in your DD's confidence and future enjoyment by getting a proper experienced teacher and a very good pony who is the right balance of calm and responsive! The aim is that in 6-8 weeks time she should be to be able to walk, trot and canter independently with a good secure seat (no holding on!) - but she might need to go right back to basics and do some sessions on the lunge or with a helper just to improve her seat and get some confidence back up. Even if she doesn't crack the canter, just walk and trot with steering and brakes installed, off the lead rein and not following a pony in front would be good and really set up her for the future.

After the 6-8 weeks the teacher can hopefully advise you on getting her back into a small group lesson with other children of a similar ability - I do think this is the best way for DC to learn if they can only ride once a week, at a well run school it shouldn't be 'follow the leader' for the whole time (or at the very least they should take turns being the leader!), they can work as individuals, do gymnastic exercises and stretches, pole work and jumping, mini gymkhana games, little hacks etc etc - much more fun than riding alone the whole time!

[Lalalalalalaland]

Definitely not a good school if cantering is only happening now.

DD is 7 and has been riding since July. Pony club every Saturday and 2 private lessons to work on cantering alone.

First lesson they got her on the lunge so she didn't have to worry about steering and second lesson just short bursts alone. She'll be having weekly private lessons for another couple of months I think to really get her basics nailed, once you've got good position and control in all 3 paces then group lessons work better I find.