Just booked for dpony to be pts friday

[Frouby]

And I am heartbroken. She is 17, been with us since she was 5 months old. Was my sisters pony then mine for dd.

She has cushings and now breathing problems. She looks rough and should be as fat as butter. And just isn't herself. I know it's the right thing to do but am just so sad. I keep bursting into tears and have a banging headache.

Worst of all I have to tell dd. She won't remember a time when we didn't have her. She has been dds pony since she was 12 months old and she is 13 soon.

I am alternating between praying friday never comes and wanting it over and done with. Sigh.

[ArsenalsPlayingAtHome]

So sorry Frouby

Just trying to be positive...your DD has enough time to spend some last very special moments with DPony, and has a few days to come to terms with this. Not enough time, I know, and equally, it's no help at all that I'm saying that, I know.

It sounds like you've done the very kindest thing

[Orlandointhewilderness]

Oh so so sorry to read that. I have had a few put down through my career and some personally and it never ever gets easier. The only comfort come from knowing it is the right, caring thing to do. I'll be thinking of you.

[bruffian]

This is my worst nightmare. Our smallest pony is 18 now and he's not looking himself. You have my complete sympathy xx

[EverythingEverywhere1234]

I'm so sorry. It's so tough but you're doing the right thing ❤ I had to have my horse of a lifetime put down about a year ago, held him right to the end and walked off at the shot. It was the very last thing I could do to show him I loved him and that thought helped me no end.

[GinGeum]

Oh Frouby there's nothing I can say that will be make it any better, but I so so feel for you. It's so hard. Lots of love for Friday.

[Igottastartthinkingbee]

Hi, you're doing the right thing. Maybe speak to the British Horse society about their 'friends at the end' scheme. Might have some useful advice for how to explain things to your DD.

[Frouby]

Thank you everyone. It has been a decision I have wrestled with since last October. I feel slightly calmer now the date is booked and I absolutely know it's the right thing to do.

But it's still so very difficult to pick the phone up and book it in. I managed to book the day and time but had to pass phone to my sister to give him the address etc.

I will be there at the end. She will have a gob full of polos and will dine like a queen friday morning. She is even going on the summer grass for the afternoon on Thursday which she hasn't had for the last 5 years. It's up to her hocks I bet and she can have 3 hours.

I think dd will be ok. We have known for a while. Am going to tell her tomorrow night and take her up after school on Thursday if she wants to say goodbye. Tho I would rather she didn't as dpony looks pretty poorly atm.

Am having a big fuck off gin and tonic just now.

[Orlandointhewilderness]

Hope you are ok OP. It will be easier when it has been done. Sounds awful but I think the waiting is the worst bit.
If you can remember, taking some tail hair is a nice reminder of them. Some companies do beautiful jewellery from it or you can just keep it.

[Frouby]

Thanks Orlando. I am desperate for it to be over. Taking dd up shortly with a bag of apples. She knows it's happening in a few days but not the day as I want her to go to school while it's done. I definitely don't want her there.

We have had some tears and am expecting more but we have some nice things to do over the weekend to distract her.

[Onehellofaride]

Hope you are ok OP. You know your DD and what she can cope with but at 13 I would have been devastated if I had not been given the opportunity to be present/say goodbye on the day!

[frostyfingers]

The waiting is the worst but I kept saying "he won't know, he won't know" to myself..... You will feel a sense of relief too, alongside the sadness but it's obviously the right call and you're doing what's best for Dpony.

[Frouby]

She has been tonight. Said her goodbyes and fed her apples. I was very brave and managed not to cry tho I did have to walk away a couple of times.

Feel slightly less stressed now dd knows and has been to see her. Am going to knacker myself out tomorrow at the allotment then friday it will all be over and done with.

Heres a little photo of tonight. Dd wanted photos so I took them. Dpony looks rough tho. You don't really notice it when you see them in the flesh. Poor old girl.

[Blodplod]

Awwww Frouby, I'm so sorry. I remember you saying on a thread I posted about my girl, that this is a decision you had been weighing up for some time about your pony. You have made a brave decision for the right reasons. Not everyone puts their horse first over their own feelings. The waiting though... it's so tough. I spoke to my vet on the Friday night and had to wait until Monday.. longest weekend of my life. I really feel for you. One good thing a friend did for me that I didn't find out about for weeks, is cut out some of her tail hair and got a bracelet made out of it. She also arranged with the vet to keep her shoes (they can be polished up and made into something special). What about getting a nice bracelet each for you and your daughter? A friendship type which means you'll always keep a piece of your horse with you forever. It's not going to be easy.. I still well up most days when I think about my girl - in fact I'm crying writing this. But in my heart of hearts I know deep down I made the right decision so it's just genuine grief and loss rather than any toxic negative guilt. I'm sure you'll feel the same. Bless you and I will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow.

[Frouby]

Thanks Blod. for you too.

Today is not going well. I keep bursting into to tears. Lost the plot trying to buy a wheelbarrow and keep feeling sick.

I thought I would be braver than this. I know it's the right thing to do. It's just so hard.

I have a million and 1 things to do today and just want to pull the quilt over my head.

This time tomorrow it will all be over though. And the guy that comes is absolutely lovely and very quick and efficient so I am not worried about the actual process. It's just the waiting that's so hard.

Next time I have to do this I am phoning and booking for the day after.

[Wolfiefan]

You are doing the right thing. You will feel terrible but you are doing it for dp. It's the greatest final act of love. To prevent suffering and preserve dignity.
It's horrid though. My sister lost three in 18 months. She's only ever had three horses in her lifetime.
Excuse me if you think this is grim but my sister trimmed some tail hair off and had a beautiful ring made with her first pony's tail hair. He's always with her.

[Garnethair]

So sorry OP. Thinking of you. X

[Frouby]

Thank you everyone.

I took my sisters ponys tail last year and have decided against it for us. I completely understand why people do but it's not for us. It would be such a precious thing that the heartbreak would happen again when it arrives and if we ever lost them so a lot of pressure on a teenager.

We have 100s of photos and rosettes tho so might have a cushion made and do a photobook for her or something later on in the year when it's not as raw. Dd is coping better than me to be fair.

[Wolfiefan]

It's not for everyone. I think you can even make a photo blanket. Something to snuggle up with.
You're allowed not to cope. But you know it's the right thing.

[wisteriainbloom]

So sorry Frouby, you are in my thoughts and will be tomorrow.

[Frouby]

It's done now. It was very quick and she had a gob full of apple, her ears were pricked and the sun was shining. I was incredibly calm afterwards and said my goodbyes without snotting on her.

Snotting all over now I am home but expected that. But I feel a lot calmer now its over.

[SilverLegoBrick]

Thinking of you.

[Wolfiefan]

I'm glad it was peaceful but so sorry for your loss.

[Blodplod]

So sorry for your loss Frouby. I'll be really thinking of you and your family over the next few days. X

[ArsenalsPlayingAtHome]

[Garnethair]

Glad she went in the sunshine. X