Advice please - how would you respond?(18 Posts)
I hope you lovely tack room mumsnetters can offer some advice!
I'm almost six weeks pregnant and have been advised by midwife that continuing to ride is fine as long as I'm happy etc - very pleased about this as love riding and would miss my horse so much!
However MIL and SIL pull very disapproving faces any time DHorse is mentioned and despite OH asking them not too, they make me feel like a rubbish mum-to-be.
DHorse is a lovely, kind boy and at the moment I feel safe and confident so will continue to ride but don't want to be rude to them. How can I politely but pointedly tell them to shut the f* up!?
I just ignored any negative comments!
It's hard from the outside to judge it, people often ask how I don't worry watching DCs galloping, jumping, generally messing about but I think only I truly know how capable they are, how reliable the ponies are, how equipped well they are to deal with any given situation. Other people haven't dealt with them day in day out so just see child flying about on pony and think OMG
What I'm trying to say is non horsey people just look at it as big horse, pregnant lady, and, for some reason, that you'll obviously fall off! Keep riding as long as you're happy, I was 6 months, 8 months and 4 months with my 3.
Just don't discuss it with them , I assume they are not horse people so will not be with you when you are seeing to the horse so how would they even know
Zara Phillips and Mary King have both competed whilst pregnant. As long as you trust your horse and are within your capabilities there shouldn't be a problem
Domt mention it to them. I rode till 7 months pregnant and I'm sure it's what kept me fit and helped me have an amazing birth. My eldest daughter is a showjumper and that terrifies me watching her zoom around on her super fast , push button , jumping mad pony. Enjoy your riding and ignore the haters
Thank you all so much for your advice. They're definitely not horsey people and I know they're just trying to be protective however it does feel very judgemental!
I will opt not to mention it in future as I agree that will make the situation easier!
Thank you all again
If it comes up again just state calmly 'the midwife said it was ok. When she says otherwise I will stop. I am taking medical advice. I know you worry but it's quite normal, look at Zara Phillips etc'.
I wasn't riding when I was pg but dd was competing still and I got hassle for bathing dpony up to 7 months pg. From the girls on the yard. Dpony is a wriggly pony to bath but has never kicked or done anything dangerous. I just practised a hard Paddington stare and offered the sponge when they commented but non of them offered to do it for me.
I'm 20 weeks pregnant and still happily riding my mare who is 20 and I have owned for 17 years, I've just reduced to hacking now as I'm a wobbly jelly on top of her. I have had lots of comments from people saying I shouldn't be riding and I just ignore them, I know my horse and I feel safe (if anything I feel more confident now as I know I can stop riding at any time and I don't feel pressured to do anything!) I tend to not tell people that I still ride my horse as it does seem to be frowned upon - even horsey people when they find out I still had a naughty canter out on a hack at the weekend! When I get bigger I will stop hacking on the roads and just go around our own fields but I plan to continue riding until I can't get off, just enjoy yourself!
Thank you both!
I think I will need to perfect my Paddington stare Frouby!
I agree Mrslil - I feel very confident as I am aware it doesn't matter if I need to stop now and I'm not putting any pressure on myself! I think maybe I'm being a bit sensitive toward the frowning!
I feel your pain! I have 6 horses, 3 yearlings, 1 five year old who I'm meant to backing this year, one loony warm-blooded field ornament (heart of gold) and a devious old pony. All 6 are rescues. When I told people I was pregnant everybody's first response was "how are you going to cope" "be careful with your horses" "stop lifting stuff" etc etc etc. Midwife says it's OK so I keep on doing it. Clearly I don't put myself at risk but I idolise those horses and they idolise me. People's judgementalness gets on my nerves! It's almost like people think it's baby or horses and never the two shall meet! X
Tell them that a lot of people don't even know they are pregnant at 6 weeks and others who don't choose to share their news until much later than that, so there are plenty of pregnant riders about who come to no harm whatsoever, just because they don't know about them doesn't mean it isn't normal!
Thank you scaredy and pixel. I do think I'm being very sensitive and perhaps a bit defensive as I do appreciate they're just worried, but as you say, many people do it, health professionals have said it's ok, and at the end of the day it is my choice.
I really appreciate your responses and it's good to know I'm not the only one feeling this way!!
I definitely know how you feel. I rode till about 35 weeks and only stopped as I couldn't get of my horse (got on and did everything else fine). I often got asked why, not that it's anyone else's business but riding is the one thing I have for me and iv been doing it nearly daily since I was a child, if I stopped cold turkey I'm sure I'd feel depressed.. there were a few witches at the yard that I'm on saying b"be careful" I'm a snidy judgemental way EVERY time I went anywhere near my horse, being the hormonal wreak I was I use to cry ( sometimes shouting fuck off to them ) do what makes you happy and know your limits x
Well you might feel differently as time goes on anyway, as every pregnancy is different. With dd I just carried on as normal, the day before she was born I mucked out three stables, carried all the water buckets and a bale of hay and thought nothing of it. Expected to do the same with ds but by about 20 weeks I was starting to struggle. You just have to go with the flow!
Thank you zombie and pixel - I will definitely listen to my body and make sure to stop when I need to
Hi OP, it's really hard when people are disapproving. PPs advice about not talking about it and trying to ignore it does help. I tried to explain how low the risk really was to people who were open to it. I carried on riding my pony, who I've had for 18 years, until I got too heavy for her (she's only 13h!) and I will do that again. I stopped competing and jumping to minimise the risk of a fall as if I'm nervous dpony picks up on it and can put in a stop. It's all about what you feel comfortable with really. I know with mine she's as safe as they come in a hacking situation so it wasn't really a risk, I did stop riding my friends very bouncy boy though, my boobs did not enjoy it!
Congratulations and good luck with your pregnancy.
I second listen to your body and your head. First pregnancy I rode until I was nearly 7 months. Second pregnancy stopped at 6 weeks. Same horse. Felt different physically and was in a different place mentally probably because I had dd at home as a toddler by then. Midwife said it was fine both times.
Thank you cats and didi - as with pp's it's really good to hear from people who have been in this situation before!
I will continue with hacking and some schooling, and have a friend who has kindly offered to come with me whenever I go out just in case which I'm very appreciative of!
I really appreciate all of your supportive comments and kind words
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